


Would You Believe Me? - Reposting

by Open_Knowledge



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Bottom Dean, Businessman Dean, Doctor Castiel, Drug-Induced Sex, Infidelity, Kidnapping, M/M, Major Character Death is only for one chapter because I love being dramatic, Minor Castiel/Meg Masters, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Omega Dean, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape/Non-con Elements, Top Castiel, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-02-27 06:11:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 64,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13242132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Open_Knowledge/pseuds/Open_Knowledge
Summary: "Cas, wait! Please, this isn't what it looks like!" Dean kept running after him because he couldn't let Castiel go like that - he couldn't lose him now. Not like this, dammit. But Castiel kept walking, the flowers he had brought with him back home still tightly held by his right hand as he walked as hurriedly as he could out of their house. Dean tried to think of anything to say - anything to make Castiel stop and listen to him because for fuck's sake, their four-year-long fucking marriage could not end like this; their marriage shouldn't end at all.After making the biggest mistake of his life, Dean now has to face the consequences of losing the love of his life. It's only a matter of time before that same mistake starts the painful events that could possibly harm not only him but also the other two people that he loves in his life.





	1. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cas, please! You have to let me explain this. You can't just leave like this!" Dean was agitated, scared beyond belief but he could not lose him - he couldn't lose Castiel. Not like this. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **_BEFORE Y'ALL READ:_ ** I deleted this story in 2016 because I thought I had lost all my notes. I posted like 10 chapters before I deleted it and thought I was done with it because half of it had been deleted from my docs and I just didn't feel like giving it another try. The original version was 20 chapters long and I had only been able to save 12 of them before losing the rest. However, I found the story again as I was trying to delete all of my old docs from my computer and I sat here rereading and thought "Bitch wtf this is somewhat decent, you can finish this shit again." And so here a bitch is posting this again.
> 
> I am trying to edit the story, though because lmao sis, wtf? Anyway, I'm adding and editing as I post and I'm sure I'll be able to finish the story itself before I'm even done posting all the chapters I already have written. If for some reason this seems really familiar is because of that. BUT please know that I will update this when I can! I'm currently working on my other story (which I need to update ASAP) and I'm also writing something else new. I'm kind of annoyed because so far, all three stories are A/B/O aus and like.... I need to stop and move on from this verse because what in the actual fuck?
> 
> Also, um.... this story is super dramatic in my opinion like super fucking dramatic and Benny, sweet caring awesome Benny, is sooooooo fucking out of character it's not even funny. I wrote this like three years ago and lmfao let's just say I disliked Benny a great deal then for some, unexplainable reason (sorry). So, if you love Benny and ship Denny this is def not the story for you.
> 
> Anyway, I think that's it so far.... Let me know what y'all think, I guess? Should I keep this story and finish it again, or should a bitch fucking stop writing and delete her whole fucking existence? Pls let me know!

* * *

 

_"Cause I had dreams for you, thoughts of a ring for you_

_Childish shit, you know, childish shit_

_Anonymous flowers sent, you know, coward shit."_  

_-J. Cole, "Power Trip."_

   

**_November 13, 2009_ **

"Cas, please! You have to let me explain this. You can't just leave like this!" Dean was agitated, scared beyond belief but he could not lose him - he couldn't lose Castiel. Not like this. Not ever.

"Dean, don't do this. Cher, let him go," Benny said, frantically looking for his clothes around the room. Castiel's room - the one he had shared with Dean for four years.

Why in the hell was he in this position? He was going to lose the love of his life for a night of fun with one of his best friends, and he didn't even stop to think about this ever happening. God, he was a fuck up.

"Don't you fucking talk to me, Benny. Don't you fucking dare!" Dean replied, hurriedly looking for his jeans to put on and chase after Castiel. Castiel, his husband, who had walked in on him getting fucked by another alpha.

Dean ran out of the room and down the stairs, all in hopes of finding Castiel there waiting to hear what he had to say about everything. But he had no such luck.

 _Please, Cas, don't leave me._  

He took the last step just in time to see Castiel leaving through the front door. 

"Cas, wait! Please, this isn't what it looks like!" Dean kept running after him because he couldn't let Castiel go like that - he couldn't lose him now. Not like this, dammit. But Castiel kept walking, the flowers he had brought with him back home still tightly held by his right hand as he walked as hurriedly as he could out of their house. Dean tried to think of anything to say - anything to make Castiel stop and listen to him because for fuck's sake, their four-year-long fucking marriage could not end like this; their marriage shouldn't end at all. 

Dean ran faster once Castiel reached his car, grabbing him by his shoulder and making Castiel face him. And for as long as Dean lived, he will never be able to forget the hurt he had seen all over Castiel's face at that moment. 

"Dean," Castiel said, voice deep and all raw emotion and Dean couldn't take it. For the first time in his life, Dean didn't care that he was crying in public. No, he didn't care because, for fuck's sake, he was going to lose his mate. 

"Baby, please don't leave me," Dean cried because what else could he fucking do? He reached for Castiel's face, forcing him to lean against the side of his car when Dean leaned against him, his face resting on Castiel's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Cas. I don't know what - I don't know what happened," he sniffed, bringing his head up to meet Castiel's gaze. "I swear I will - It will never happen again. Cas, please. You have to give me a second chance." Dean felt his heart twisting painfully in his chest. He had hurt Castiel in the worst way possible and he couldn't even give him a good enough reason as to why. Not that any reason should justify his mistake. Castiel had been such a great partner, great husband, friend and everything Dean had ever needed. 

Castiel dropped his gaze, his eyes shining against the moonlight. Dean couldn't stop the tears that were forcing their way down his face. He knew what was going to happen, he fucking knew. 

Castiel brought his hands up to either side of his face covering Dean's. 

"I'll call Michael tonight. Call Sam and let him know what happened," Castiel whispered, the emotional pain so very clear in his voice. Dean couldn't handle it, this really was happening. 

" _Goddammit_ , Cas, please don't do this! I'm sorry, okay? I am!" Dean let out a sob, trying to catch Castiel's gaze again. "I'm begging you - please don't leave me!" Dean continued, getting on his knees and looking up at Castiel, his hand clutching Castiel's button down shirt.

Castiel just kept looking ahead of him, behind him towards their home - staring but not really seeing. Dean could tell the moment Benny joined them outside when he felt Castiel tense up. He let the flowers he'd been holding on to go and brought his gaze down to Dean's, his now free hand cupping the side of Dean's face. 

"Dean, get up," he said, his tone shaky and raspy with emotion and Dean couldn't. He couldn't let this go like this. He leaned his head against Castiel's lower abdomen, shook his head and kept sobbing. The pain he felt was the worst thing he'd ever experienced and he couldn't imagine how Castiel felt. He knew that if the roles were reversed hell would've broken loose. 

"Cas,  _alpha_ , please!" He sobbed, Dean was desperate and he knew all of this was his fault, dammit,  _he knew_. But smelling the residuals of Benny’s arousal was putting him in a frenzy. "Fuck, Benny, can't you just get the fuck out of here?!"

"Cher, I need to talk to you. Let him go. Maybe this was a sign, sugar, he finally realized that we-"

Dean felt Castiel's growl rather than heard it and he tensed up. Despite the fact that Benny was a little bigger than Castiel, Dean knew that Benny wouldn't get out of this one without at least some broken bones.

"This is not the first time you have done this with him?" And that question made Dean perk up because, yeah, Dean had cheated but this was the only time he'd done this. He clutched Castiel's shirt tighter and shook his head frantically.

"No, Cas-"

"Of course, it ain't the first time, Hot Wings. Dean and I are in love. Tell him, Dean. Tell him about the plans we-"

"Fuck you, Benny. Get the hell out of here!" Dean yelled, getting back on his feet, turning to look at Benny. "You know damn well we've never done this before," he turned back to look at Castiel. " _Alpha,_ you have to believe-"

"Don't call me that, Dean. Don't do that to me. I understand, okay? I've neglected to care for you the way Benny might be right now-"

"No, Castiel, don't you dare turn this-"

"Well, what am I supposed to do, Dean?!" Castiel yelled suddenly, taking Dean by surprised who took a step backward. "I found you in our bed with  _Benny,_ of all people, and you want me - I just can't look at you right now! It fucking hurts to even stand here." Castiel seemed like he was a step away from breaking as he paced from side to side for a few seconds, while harshly pulling at his hair. "Do you know how much is taking from me to not just go over there and break his neck? Dammit, Dean, I thought we were okay. I thought -  _fuck._ " He stopped pacing to look at Dean. He let out a sigh and smiled a little - a broken smile that made Dean's world shattered. A painful smile that made everything hurt so much more.

He walked a few steps towards Dean, reaching for his cheek to caress it.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Castiel said, dropping his hand and looking back towards Benny. "Get him," he said before he finally turned around and walked back to his car, leaving Dean disoriented and full of anxiety. Dean let out a sob and tried to follow Castiel but was stopped by Benny's arms surrounding him and holding him back.

"Fuck you, Benny! Let me go! I can't let him go - Castiel, _alpha_ , please don't leave me! I'm sorry! Castiel!" He thrashed against Benny to try and get away but he couldn't. Damn Benny to hell for doing this. Fuck him.  _"Alpha, alpha, alpha!_ " He kept yelling but Castiel just slammed the car door close, started the engine and drove off. He drove off leaving Dean behind.

Dean kept trying to get away from Benny but his attempts were losing their purpose. Castiel was gone and Dean couldn't do anything about it.

"Where is he even going to stay?! He can't leave, Benny! I can't live without him!" He yelled at Benny turning to face him. Benny tried to reach for him again but Dean moved away, maybe disgusted with anyone's touch. Anyone who wasn't Castiel, his mate.

"Don't you ever touch me again," he growled at Benny, trying to walk back toward the house. The house that no longer held Castiel in it.

"Sugar, you gotta talk to me. We have to figure out where this leaves us-"

"Leaves us, Benny? I just lost my husband for this stupid mistake and you want to know where we stand?!" Dean exclaimed, halting his fast pace and turning to face Benny.

"That's not what I mean. We don't have to talk about it now if you don't want, Cher." Benny looked down, his shirt and jacket were messily on him, the fly of his jeans still unzipped and he was barefoot. Dean was so angry that he couldn't stand the sight of him.

"I need you to leave, Benny. Right now." He walked into the house not looking back and slamming the door in Benny's face. Dean rested his weight against the door, sliding down and wrapping his arms around his legs, resting his head on his knees letting everything that had happened wash over him. Dean let out a heart-wrenching sob, thinking that he was alone in this big house with no Cas to go to and cry about it. No more warm arms wrapping around him when he needed it and were too prideful to admit.

For the first time in four years, Dean was truly alone again.

 

 

**_January 24, 2010_ **

 

Dean was lost in thought as he tried to ignore what was happening at the moment, his heart twisting painfully in his chest as he stared down at his hands.

"Mr. Winchester, I need you to sign the divorce papers, please," Sam said, bringing him back to reality.

Dean thought that this couldn't be his worst birthday so far. No, of course not. There was that time when Dean had been forced to spend his fourteenth birthday with his father while John drank himself into oblivion. Dean remembers how upset he had felt for himself and for Sam who had also been forced to watch their father slowly drink Ellen's liquor supply.

"Dean," he heard Sam whispered again. He looked up to see his brother holding out a pen for him, looking like he wished he could stop the hurt Dean was feeling then and bare with it himself. Dean turned away from that look because he didn't want his brother's pity. He didn't need it and he sure as hell didn't deserve it. Dean's gaze fell on Michael instead, who was currently sitting next to Castiel, whispering something to his husband - well, soon to be  _ex-husband_ \- while Castiel kept his gaze against the wall. He looked tired, more worn out than Dean remembered. Dean felt his heart painfully beating against his ribcage at the sight of him.

"I don't want to keep everything," Dean said, his voice deeper than he had expected. He saw Castiel tense up, but he didn't turn to look at him. Castiel kept his gaze on the wall opposite him, his hands resting on his thighs looking completely and utterly uncomfortable.

"Mr. Winchester, Dr. Novak has already discussed with his lawyer his final decision. He has agreed to leave everything to you. Please sign where it is required and we can be finished with this. We're even working on a Sunday to get this over with and move on. Dr. Novak has already agreed to go pick whatever is left of his things later this week and leave the house to you. I think that is more than generous of him to do," the judge,  _the dick_ , reminded him. However, Dean was unable to do such thing. He couldn't take everything from Castiel, especially after what Dean had done.

"With all due respect, judge Adler, I refuse to sign the divorce papers. I will not be signing them until-"

"Just sign the papers, Dean, please," Castiel had interrupted him, his voice all deep and soft and Dean couldn't help the happy shiver that ran down his spine at the sound of it.

"I can't do that, Cas. I can't do that to you," Dean responded, his vision turning blurry. Goddamnit, he can't look like the fragile, emotional omega here. Not in front of Michael Novak who had been trying to find whatever weakness he could find in Dean and use it against him.

"You had no trouble sleeping with another alpha like an omega whore while your husband enslaved himself at his job trying to provide for you," Michael retaliated, his alpha rage very palpable in the room but other than that he looked composed.  

"Michael, please," Castiel sighed, closing his eyes and it looked to Dean like he was trying to escape this situation.

"Cas, take at least half of this. This all belongs to you, anyway. I won't be able to take over your family's company-"

"Dean, I don't care what you do with everything! Sell everything for all I care, just sign the divorce papers and get this over with." Castiel's gaze fell on him and Dean wished he had been prepared for the anger he saw there.

"Cas-"

"Dammit, Dean!" Castiel yelled, slamming his fisted hands on the table making everyone in the room jump.

"Mr. Novak, I suggest you keep your client in check," judge Adler said, turning to Michael, his right hand gesturing towards Castiel who was now pacing around the room.

"I apologize, judge Adler, my brother is just outrage about this whole situation," Michael stood from his chair, buttoning his suit jacket and leaning his head forward in respect. The kiss-ass.

"No, it's understandable. I can't imagine finding my wife in the same situation Dr. Novak found his-"

"With all due respect, sir, but that has nothing to do with you and I'd appreciate it if you kept the situation unbiased," Sam said in his lawyerly voice, not missing a beat to defend his brother.

"Of course, Mr. Winchester. Now if you could please have your omega brother sign the divorce papers, that'd be great."

Dean ignored the tone the asshole had used to highlight his secondary gender. Instead, he moved his gaze away from Castiel who was running his hands down his face while Michael kept trying to calm him down. Dean wished he could get up and do it himself just like the many times he had done it before. But he knew that if he tried to reach for Castiel, his advances wouldn't be very welcomed.

"Dean, sign," he heard Sam repeat and this time he didn't try to find a way out of this nightmare. This was it, he was going back to a lonely life only now he was going to be a filthy rich, lonely omega.

Without removing his gaze from Castiel, Dean took the pen being offered by his brother and flipped all the way to the last page of the documents in front of him. He looked down, the pen hovering over the line where his signature was supposed to go. Right next to Castiel's and just the sight out it made Dean's insides hurt even more. He looked back up and met Castiel's gaze, his soon to be ex-husband looked so lost, so tired and devastated and not for the first time that day did Dean wished to make all the pain go away.

Dean stopped prolonging the inevitable and signed the divorce papers, his heart hurting so much more than he had expected. He couldn't imagine how much worst it would have hurt if he'd had Castiel's claiming mark on him. But Dean couldn't imagine it hurting more than it was now.

"Very well," Adler said, getting up from his chair and collecting the documents, putting them in his folder and closing it. He smiled at everyone in the room as he fixed his tie. "It has been a pleasure to know most of you. Dr. Novak, I wish you the best. You and Mr. Winchester have officially divorced. Have a nice day." He said, making everyone else get up from their seats to shake his hand. Dean refused to show such respect. The asshole had been attacking Dean so subtly that Sam couldn't call him out on it and demand another judge to handle their divorce.

"Winchester, you let me know if your client decides to sell his part of the company. I know my family would like to recover-"

"Michael, I'd really appreciated if you left your business for later and get done with whatever other details are needed to be taken care of now," Castiel grabbed his suit jacket, sliding it back on and walking towards Sam. Dean tensed up, trying to figure out what was Castiel's next move.

"Sam, I hope to see you soon in a better setting. Dean, I hope life treats you well with Benny," Castiel stated, but he wasn't looking at Dean. In fact, Dean knew that he was trying to avoid looking at him as much as possible.

"Thanks, Cas. Take care of yourself," Sam replied, bringing Castiel into his arm for a hug. Castiel hesitated but returned the hug breathing in. They heard Michael clear his throat, making Castiel and Sam separate.

"Right, if you please," Michael said, moving towards Sam to shake his hand, and only nodding towards Dean in acknowledgment before moving past them.

"Take care, Sam. Say hello to Sarah for me," Castiel finally turning to look at Dean who was still sitting. He nodded his head before reaching for Dean's left hand. "Dean," he said before bring Dean's hand up to his lips, their gaze never breaking. "Take care of yourself, too, Dean." And with that being said, Castiel let go of his hand walking out of the courtroom, taking Dean's heart with him.

"Dean-"

"Save it, Sam. I don't want to hear it."

 

 

**_January 30, 2010_ **

 

"Hello, Dean," was the first thing Dean heard Castiel say when he opened the door to their - _his_ \- house.

"Hey, Cas. Is it Wednesday already?" And for fuck's sake, he knew what day it was. Dean had been impatiently waiting for today to finally see Castiel again. To smell his alpha again, to feel like everything had been a horrible nightmare and just have Castiel wrap his arms around Dean and take him up to their bedroom and make love. "Is Michael not here with you?" Castiel was unshaven, his beard had grown and looked gruff. Dean wanted to reach up and caress it.

Castiel looked back at his car, scratching his beard with his left hand before looking back at Dean and then dropping his gaze.

"Uh, no. Michael had to talk to our Mother about the company-" And the only reason why Dean did it was because he had missed his alpha. Because he missed those lips against his.

Castiel had not responded to the kiss at all, his arms hanging heavily on either side of his body. Dean moved back, looking down before bringing his gaze back to Castiel's feeling ashamed for the impulse but he couldn't have helped himself even he'd tried. They stood there, just looking at each other without saying a thing or making any noise. But it seemed that something had broken in Castiel as he breathed in, taking in Dean's scent like he couldn't stop himself either. His pupil expanded, covering almost all the blue in those beautiful eyes. Dean could smell the anger and the arousal thick in the air now and if this was the last thing he was getting from Castiel, then so be it.

Castiel pushed his way into the door, bringing his hands to either side of Dean's face before pinning him against the nearest wall and kissing him hard. And right after that, everything was a blur for Dean. All he could do at that moment was feel Castiel's hands on him touching every part of him so desperately, harshly and so purely instinct.

Dean went to unbutton Castiel shirt, never breaking their kiss. He let out a whine when the thing wouldn't cooperate with him.

"Take it off, take it off!"

Castiel broke apart and ripped the buttons off the shirt before going back to kissing Dean. Dean felt elated as the arousal grew within him, his opening getting slicked by said arousal. He was high on the enticing smell Castiel was letting on and he couldn't help the needy whines coming out of his mouth.

Castiel tried to pull Dean's shirt off, breaking apart and throwing the shirt somewhere on the floor not really caring about anything than getting Dean undressed. Castiel brought both hands down to Dean's ass before hauling him up and making Dean wrap his legs tightly around his waist. Dean didn't know how long it took them or how they got to where they were but next thing Dean knew he was naked, laying on the carpeted floor Castiel kissing his way down his body while he wrapped his left hand around Dean's length. Dean let out a moan, his hand pulling at Castiel's hair, too high on arousal to care about anything else.

He felt Castiel's fingers prodding at his entrance, his slick making the job of getting him open for his alpha so much easier.

"Cas -  _fuck_  - alpha," he moaned, so lost in the hazy smell of their scents combined. Dean felt high on it. It was everything he wanted to smell for the rest of his life.

Castiel worked three fingers in him without much preamble, his other hand moving up and down Dean's length while his mouth worked one of Dean's nipple.

"Cas! Oh, fuck. Come on, alpha. Fuck me, I need you in me," he whispered breathless, arching his body up towards Castiel offering himself and everything he had. "Come on, alpha! Take what's yours!" Dean heard Castiel growl before he worked his fingers out of him and positioning himself against Dean's entrance finally sliding home in one, long, smooth stroke. Dean moaned loudly, wrapping his arms around Castiel's back, sliding his nails down hiding his face against the crook of the alpha's neck, breathing in the heady scent of him - so intoxicating and delicious it made him lick the skin there savoring the taste of his alpha. Oh, it felt good. This is where Castiel belonged, where he should always come to be in. He belonged here with Dean.

"Fuck! Cas, alpha please, harder," he moaned, Castiel growling at the demanding tone Dean had used and fuck did it not drive the omega part of him into a submissive mode. He bared his neck up to his alpha, whining needily at him. Castiel's thrusts were slow but hard Dean was loving every second of it. He loved the pace, the force of it the way Castiel's thrust never waver, just driving Dean closer to the edge. "Yes, goddammit, Cas, you're killing me!" Castiel let out another growl, biting Dean's shoulder without breaking the skin, while his thrusts became more frantic and forceful. Dean could feel his slick sliding down the inside of his thigh and onto the floor and he wondered if he could die like this. Castiel in him, fucking him raw, hard like he wanted to get rid of every painful memory by driving into Dean like he wanted to ruin him for anybody else.

Dean's eyes opened suddenly as he felt Castiel hitting his prostate, groaning as Castiel teeth sank more into his neck wishing desperately Cas would leave a claiming mark there. And that thought alone made him come. He screamed his release, his ass clenching around Castiel's length as he felt Castiel's knot locking them together making the alpha groan. Castiel clenched his eyes shut trying not to bite too hard. Dean felt Castiel shaking with his orgasm, could feel Castiel's release deep in him and all he could do was savor the moment. He closed his eyes letting every single thought escape him. Only then did Dean really realized that he had fucked Castiel without being safe. Not that after four years of marriage they had been using condoms, of course not. But this was the first time in years since Dean had stopped taking his contraception pills. He knew what this could lead him to, he knew, but right now he couldn't care. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Castiel, letting out a sigh and making Cas rest his weight on him.

Dean should've known that this wouldn't last for long, and yet there he was hoping Castiel would still be there in the morning.

He fell asleep with Castiel still in him. The feeling of security surrounding him lulling him to slumber.

 

 

 

_**January 31, 2010** _

 

Castiel wasn't there when Dean woke up, a blanket covering him. Not really thinking about much as the tears started to blur his vision, Dean turned towards the window in the living room noting how the day outside looked like the perfect day to stay in and grief his marriage.

 

 

**_March 27,_   _2010_**

 

There was no reason why Dean should feel upset about finding out that Cas was staying with Meg. They were divorced and plus, Meg had been Cas' best friend since way before Dean had met him, but he just couldn't ignore the pang of jealousy he felt. Maybe it was because he knew about Castiel and Meg's past arrangement -  _friends with benefits_ \- but that was in the past and he knew it but the thought that Cas had run back to her just wouldn't leave him.

"Dean, what are you doing here?" Meg said her surprised very apparent.

Dean cleared his throat meeting her gaze. "Meg, do you think I could talk to Cas? I know he might not want to see me right now, but..." Dean trailed off once he saw the look on Meg's face. "Meg, what's going on? Where's Cas?" He tried to look past her shoulder to try and see if Castiel was in there.

"Uh, Castiel had a job offer, Dean. Well, more like they were recruiting him again," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at him with something he couldn't explain but Dean knew exactly what she meant now.

He shook his head, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "What? When?"

Meg sighed, rolling her eyes and taking a step back. "Doctor Clarence left a week ago, Deano." 

 

 

**_March 31, 2010_ **

 

Dean's hand shook as he held the phone, desperately trying to stay calm as he heard his mom finally picking up the phone.

"Mom?" He whispered, his stomach in knots as he breathed in.

 _"Dean, sweetie? Baby, are you ok?"_ Dean didn't even prolong to tell her the reason why he was calling.

"I think I'm pregnant, mom." Dean let out a sob, clenching his hands around the phone more tightly than needed.

" _Oh, sweetheart. It's okay, I'm here for you,_ " Mary said, her soothing voice making him relax just a little bit. " _Is it Benny's?_ " And of course, Dean should've expected the question yet it still hurt to hear his mother's uncertainty.

He shook his head before remembering that his mom couldn't see him.

"Cas's." He cried, hoping that's all he needed to say for her to understand. He brought his free hand down to his stomach to rest there protectively. Because despite the fact that Castiel wasn't here, Dean still wanted to keep this baby. It didn't matter that Castiel wasn't here right now, Dean will tell him about their kid as soon as he returned and Castiel could still be a part of their kid's life.

"I'm gonna keep it, mom. I'm ready for this one," and that is all he had to say on the matter.

 

  

**_June 30, 2010_ **

 

"Mom? I-I had a doctor's appointment today," Dean bit his lip, trying to keep his excitement in before delivering the news.

" _Oh, honey, that's great! What did they say? Is everything alright?"_ Dean let out a small smile before replying.

"It's a girl, mom. I'm having a baby girl."

 

  

**_November 6, 2010_ **

 

"Sam, I need your help," Dean said through the phone, his breaths shallow and rapid.

" _Dean? Are you okay, is the baby okay? It's three eleven in the morning. Is it time?_ " Sam asked, the sleepiness in his voice fading as he kept talking. Dean could hear him making a big scene on the other side making him roll his eyes. He could also hear Sarah in the background asking if everything was alright.

"I think your pride and joy will finally be able to have someone to play with," Dean replied, smiling while the contractions hit him hard, but not too often for him to worry.

 _"Sarah it's time. The baby is coming!"_ Sam yelled, making Sarah shush him.

 _"Sam, would you calm down? You're going to wake Henry up,"_  he could hear the frantic movements on the other side of the phone before Sarah's voice carried through the speakers. " _Hey, Dean, how you holding up?"_

"I think I'll feel better once this girl is out of me."

" _We'll be there as soon as possible!_ " Sam yelled, making Sarah shush him again, this time more annoyed.

"Oh, you just take your time, ain't going to be moving out of here anytime in the near future."

 

  

**_November 8, 2010, 2:39 a.m._ **

 

"Welcome to the world, little one," Dean heard his brother whispered. Dean was so high on drugs he couldn't think straight. 

"Zo-eh," he murmured, staring at his daughter. Sam looked up from the little baby girl in his arms to meet his gaze, his eyes watery and unbelieving.

"Don't you mean Zoey?"

"No, Zo-eh," Dean could feel his eyes drooping, but he didn't want to sleep. He wanted to spend time with his daughter, to hold her again.

"Zoe Mary Winchester. I like it." Sam said, returning his gaze to the little girl, slightly rocking his arms trying to keep her from waking up and making a fuss.

Dean sighed as he closed his eyes, trying to not think about how much he missed and wished his alpha was here. "Cas did, too."

 

 

_**January 24, 2011** _

 

Dean watched his daughter sleep, her little body moving every time she breathed in. The way his heart felt for this tiny human will never cease to amaze him. She was so small and fragile, Dean was scared to hold her most of the time. That little girl held his heart just like Cas does and Jesus, it was the best thing Dean had ever experienced in his whole damn life.

The phone rang, then, bringing him back to reality. He sighed, looking down at his phone and seeing all the unread messages and missed calls. He didn't want to answer, he really didn't. What was the point of celebrating today when all he could think of was that today marked one year since he and Cas officially divorced? 

He felt the guilt and pain taking over him, trying desperately to ignore it but being unable to do so. God, Dean will forever regret ever being stupid enough to ruin one of the best things that had ever happened to him.

Dean breathed in, turning his phone off and looking back up at his daughter, his tears never falling.

"I love you both so fucking much, Zoe."

 

 

**_February 23, 2011_ **

 

"What are you doing here, Gabriel?" Without even waiting for Dean, Gabriel let himself in looking at Zoe in surprise. 

"Well, that explains your prolonging start in the family company. Although I gotta tell ya. I don't think that brother of yours is going to be able to handle both his job and that company much longer."

"I'm going to talk to Michael soon. I'm sure you would love to know I'm selling the percentage of what belongs to me back to your family," Dean walked further into the house, reaching the kitchen to get Zoe's bottle, Gabriel following behind.

"Actually, I came here bearing the bad news, Deano," Dean turned to face Gabriel again, a scowl covering his face.

"Gabriel, I honestly don't care about Lucifer getting a hold of Castiel's-"

"Is it Benny's?" Dean glared at him, pure anger filling him while Gabriel watched his niece in her baby chair playing with her little hands and drooling.

"Castiel's, actually. You should recognize her, don't you think? She has Cas' hair." Dean saw the way Gabriel's face fell before any sort of emotion left his face and scent.

"He's dead, Dean."

 

 

**_March 23, 2011_ **

 

"...We have lost a son, brother, and friend in war..." 

"A father, too," he heard Sam whispered, but Dean didn't acknowledge his comment. He was too focused on the thought that Zoe was never going to meet her father. She was never going to ever personally meet him. Dean, himself, was never going to see Castiel again. All the memories he had of him making his way to his head, overwhelming Dean and making him feel even worst. All the love he'd ever felt for his alpha combined with the pain he now felt knowing Cas was dead made his insides churn. Dean was simultaneously glad and upset at the fact the casket was closed. Here he was, crying to what he had heard from Gabriel was an unrecognizable body, which had caused too many doubts in Dean but had banished after the DNA tests came out stating the body inside was indeed his poor alpha. There was no way to describe how Dean felt, only able to think about the way they had ended things, the way Dean had betrayed Castiel- 

Dean let out a sob, his pain too unbearable.

"I'm sorry, Cas."

 

 

**_July 20, 2011_ **

 

"I'm not selling it, Michael," Dean looked Michael dead on. He wasn't backing out of this. Dean wouldn't do it, he owed Castiel that much. 

"Winchester-"

"Oh. Bro, I think Deano already made his decision," Gabriel said, standing behind him with Zoe in his arms. Zoe let out a squeal of delight before giggling and reaching out to Dean.

"How can you stand against the memory of our brother? A brother who was betrayed by the omega whore who ran to conceive a bastard child with the same man our brother found him in bed with?" Dean tensed as he felt rage ignite in him before he stalked towards Michael.

"Don't you ever talk about my daughter like that, do you hear me? Not in my house or anywhere. You can say what you want about me, Michael, but you keep my daughter's name out of your mouth, or you will find out how low I will stoop to defend my daughter."

Gabriel moved forward, passing Zoe back to Dean before turning to his older brother with a smirk on his face.

"And with that being said, I'm giving Deano my part of that darn company," Gabriel exclaimed, his infuriating smile still in place. Dean held Zoe close to him, while she played with his hand and babbled away.

"Brother, you can't disrespect our family and the memory-"

"Watch me, bro."

 

  

**_November 8, 2011_ **

 

"Happy birthday, baby girl." Dean was sitting on the floor, Zoe in front of him flapping her little arms around. 

"Ma, ma," Zoe crawled to the sofa even though she already knew how to walk, using her little hands to hoist herself up holding onto the couch, before turning around and smiling at Dean, laughing. "Dah, dah," he watched her smile, her green eyes, and dark curls, feeling his heart swell with so much love and pride.

Zoe was the perfect mixture of him and Cas. Everything that was good from both of them all wrapped into that bundle of joy. Dean's bundle of joy and he couldn't believe that his baby girl was really turning one today. It seemed like just yesterday he was still in the hospital just waiting for his baby to make her presence known in his life.

"I wish you had his eyes, too," he whispered, but Zoe just lets out a squeal of laughter before falling down and landing on her bottom. Dean just sat there, staring at his daughter and wondering how things would've been if Castiel was there.

"He would've loved you just as much as I do," he looked up at the pictures of him and Castiel from their wedding day in the top of the side table next to the couch, the only few things that still remained unpacked in the house. They had looked so happy and carefree. He went to grab his favorite picture from their wedding day. It was of him and Castiel only, Castiel had his right arm around him while looking down smiling. One side of Castiel's face was covered with a stripe of cake frosting as Dean laughed at him, his body completely facing the alpha, leaning towards him to kiss his cheek.

_"Hey, Dr. Novak, now that you're finally married to me. I think it's time for us to maybe skip the party and fuck in one of the utility closets here?" Dean had said, leaning to whisper into Castiel's ear._

_"Hello, Dean. I believe what you are planning for us to do is a little rude, don't you agree?" Castiel replied, turning to face forward, his smile betraying his serious tone. "Also, I'm not a doctor yet."_

_Dean hummed in response, moving to scent him. "Didn't you say my sense of adventure was one of the things that made you fall in love with me? Well, Cas, I'm feeling very adventurous right about now-"_

_"Mom, Dean is trying to seduce Cas out of their wedding reception!" He heard Sam, who Dean had fail to notice was standing in front of the dessert table. "Come on, lovebirds, let me just take a picture of you before I lose you both," Sam said, grabbing the camera that was hanging from his neck - his newest hobby he would probably grow out of in a year max._

_"What do you say, Mr. Winchester? One more picture of us before you sweep me off my feet and take me with you?" Castiel had said, wrapping his right arm around Dean._

_"Only if you promise to fuck me senseless when we get out of here," Dean responded, ignoring his brother's groan of disgust, while he just laughed covering his index finger with cake frosting before bringing it up to Castiel's face not noticing the flash of Sam's camera going off._

"Dah, dah, ma, ma." Dean heard Zoe's annoyed babbling, trying to get his attention. He went to grab her, sitting her down on his lap and bringing the picture frame he was holding down in front of them both. Zoe made an attempt to grab it but laughed when Dean moved it away from her making airplane noises. She clapped her hands excitedly, "ma, ma, no, no," she said, looking up at Dean and smiling, her two front teeth showing.

"That's your daddy, alpha daddy," he said, looking down at her smiling. Zoe looked down at the picture, a little frown set on her adorable face now.

"Pa, pa, pa," she mumbled, putting her left little hand on top of the picture.

"Yeah, baby, alpha daddy. Papa," he replied, making his leg bounce making Zoe's laughter come back.

"Ma, ma, ma, no, no," she made to hold onto Dean's leg trying to make him stop but laughing despite her attempts.

"He would've loved you so much." His voice came out hoarser now, the pain still not gone feeling his vision blur. He leaned down to scent the top of his daughter's head, catching a little of Castiel there and he wished so much more now that Castiel was there so Dean could share this with him.

"I still love him, Zoe, I still do." But his baby girl had no understanding of his pain so he sucked it all in and smiled down at the picture. "I'm sure he's watching over us, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Tell me if I should delete my life or not! Thank you for reading regardless of how shitty y'all thought this story was.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was _rough_. Jesus, I cannot believe I had the audacity to post this like it was three years ago. I am so embarrassed I'm so _wow_. I don't know English y'all Idk how I made it through school.
> 
> I tried to make it better but idk I don't think is _great_ but it's better than it had been. Pls forgive me if it's still a little rough. I really tried to make it better! I'm almost done w the third chapter so I'll try to have that up by Sunday hopefully!
> 
> TW: Rape, Non-Consensual Drug use, Mentioned Child Prostitution

* * *

 

**_September 2014_ **

 

Castiel would have never imagined that something he loved to do would lead him to a situation like this. It had been years since he found himself here, April coming in whenever she pleased and taking what she wanted. Castiel didn't know what was worst - the things she made him do or the fact that he didn't even fight it anymore. He had a constant buzz in his head due to the drugs, everything had seemed to fade from his reality after his first year being held hostage and after all these years, it didn't seem to bother him. Maybe it was the constant way April came in, made him hard, fucked herself on his dick and use his knot however she pleased that made him forget everything else. It was trying at times when her heat hit, but not something the drugs she had been pumping in his system couldn't handle.

Most times he felt used, delirious and disgusted with himself. But he had nothing else to live for and at least here he had some kind of twisted goal to achieve - keeping April satisfied. If he did whatever she asked for, he was rewarded with news on their pup. The very same pup April had used against him on more occasions than he could remember. Their pup who might be turning three years old very soon. Sometime this month, if he could just know what month it was that is.

Since April found out about her pregnancy, she had been completely pleased with him. So pleased in fact that she kept him clean, clothed, and fed. If he complied with her every command, he was rewarded by not getting the drugs injected into his system. Castiel knew that being kidnapped and held here was wrong and despite April's attempts to make him open up and talk more about himself he refused. He knew about Stockholm Syndrome, and he knew that sympathizing and relating with his kidnapper was counterproductive. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when news about his pup came into play.

Castiel hadn't seen the pup at all since he found out about its existence. Not even once. But he could smell their scent on April when she came into his room. He knew their pup was somewhere in the house, but he wasn't allowed to leave his room - not even to go see his pup. April made sure of that by locking the door from the outside. He had tried during his first year here to break the door down and damn the punishment he received afterward. April had been angry beyond what he had expected, which had led her to become merciless when it had come to punish him. Castiel still had the scars on his body after the whipping he had gotten for his attempt to escape.

The keys rustling outside of his room was suddenly heard, the lock of the door unlocking before the door opened bringing him back from his musings. Castiel looked around, taking in the white walls and dresser and other furniture decorating the room, yet not really paying attention to it. What took his attention was April who stood by the door, a wide affectionate smile on her face as she took Castiel in. Castiel didn't even try to get off the bed to greet her. He was so tired and too aroused due to the drugs and April coming in was a welcomed surprise right now.

"How's my favorite alpha doing so far?" She said as a greeting, wasting no time removing her shirt followed by her jeans and underwear. She made her way towards him on the bed, removing his clothes before climbing on top of him. She grabbed his length with her left hand while she put her right hand next to his head trying to straddle him.

"Pup," he said, desperately wanting to say something else but everything else seemed to take too much energy at the moment.

"The pup's fine, Castiel. But I'm not. The mother of your pup needs you to take care of her now," she responded, lining his dick with her entrance before sinking down on him. He let out a groan making an attempt to move his hands to grab onto her hips. He had been aroused most of the day and April felt so warm and soft and wet around him. And despite how good and relieving the tightness around him felt, he couldn't muster enough strength to participate in sexual intercourse. His muscles felt sore and heavy, his head like it was too big for his body and his stomach was in knots.

"Fuck... Come on, Castiel, you have to cooperate, I can't do all the job myself," April moaned, moving her hips slowly. "Come on, alpha, you can do better than that. If this is the only thing you're able to do, then I can't blame that ex-husband of yours for seeking someone else to give it to him like he needed it," she continued, making the anger he had felt that day when he found Dean with Benny come back all at once.

With difficulty, Castiel sat up on the bed, grabbing April by the hips and forcefully moving his own hips up into her. He felt the rage, disgust and hurt all mixed together inside him, taking over and driving him to slam more forcefully into April. He didn't want this, he didn't want it. All he wanted to do was hear about his pup and run away with them. Get away from this place and move on with his life with the pup by his side - safe and secure. There was the possibility that he would have to, at some point, talk to the pup about its abusive, horrible mother, but that was the least of Castiel's concerns at the moment. To know the pup wouldn't have to grow up here was enough incentive to forget about anything else and find a way to get them both out this nightmare. Just thinking about how Castiel would be able to hold his pup, care for them, take them home with him and give them everything the pup ever demanded to have was the only thing keeping him submissive and docile.

The pup, that's all that kept him going right now. The only reason why he shut his mind off and thought of nothing other than releasing the sexual frustration the drugs were causing him.

Induced rut - he needed to know how much of the drug April was injecting into his system. Castiel needed to know if he would be able to go through detoxification without much pain. He needed to know how much he was taking and figure out a way to deal with the withdrawal he was going to go through.

"Come on, Castiel! Focus on me. Fuck!" Castiel heard April moaned, her nails painfully digging into his shoulders. He let out a growl, his need to push April off of him very present. But he knew he couldn't do that. Instead, he thrust harder into her, his movements becoming erratic.

He clenched his eyes shut, trying to think of something else - _someone_ else. He let out a sob, the tears falling down his face.

"Dammit, Castiel!" He heard April growl, moving her hips down on him, clenching around him making his knot lock them together. He heard her scream her release, felt her body spasm, but all he could do was let go of her and lay back down on his back. His eyes still closed and the tears making their way down his temple. He felt drained, tired, exhausted and pain. So much pain.

April went down with him, laying her head on top of his chest, kissing it and wrapping her arms around him.

"I love you, Castiel. And I know you love me, too," April mumbled. Castiel let out a sob, his chest moving with the force of it and he just wished he could be back home. Back home with Dean, in their bed and completely sleep the nightmare away.

 

 

**_Present Time (2015)_**

 

_"...These soldiers have successfully rescued more than ten Americans who had been held hostage in Afghanistan for years; hostages who had been presumed dead by their loved ones. Sources say the leader of the group of kidnappers is April Kelly, who had manipulated enough American soldiers to do the dirty job for her. Some victims have been safely returned to their families, including Doctor Castiel Novak, who had been part of the Doctors Without Borders group touring in Afghanistan and whose multimillionaire family held a funeral for five years ago. This travesty is being followed by our reporters who have been trying to get in contact with some of the victims and obtain more details of this horrific act. April Kelly has been arrested and brought back to America, her birthplace, to be put on trial. We have also received news that she was also part of an illegal organization dedicated to children prostitution. Authorities, however, have refused to say more on the matter and are now hopefully working very hard to put this woman and her accomplices behind bars. Back to you, John."_

 

Castiel walked into his mother's house, looking around and trying to adjust his nose to the different scents. Everywhere he went, he had a constant headache due to the overwhelming smells surrounding him. All he wanted to do was to be able to ignore every scent and lie down in a comfortable bed, no smell on it at all. His nose had suffered as soon as he had been helped out of the room he had been locked in for the last five years. Even the hospital room had presented as a problem. Castiel was still tired, but so very glad to be out of the hospital - his bones felt too heavy and sore. His withdrawal from the drugs April had been injecting into his system had been worse than he had expected. Right now, though, he was glad he was back to normal, even if said normal made him dizzy and nauseous.

Castiel made his way to the stairs, looking up to the second floor and wishing he didn't have to walk all the way up there. He sighed turning to look back at his mother as she came in through the front door behind him. She looked different, older. And how couldn't she? It had been five years since he had last seen her. Castiel felt nostalgic and hurt.

"It's so good to see you again, Mother, really," he said, going back to her to help her with the duffle bag she was trying to carry in with her.

Naomi's gaze settled on him, taking him in, her eyes so distant and unfocused - probably still in shock.

"Yes, well, it's good to see you again as well, Castiel," she replied, standing straight and meeting his gaze. Castiel smiled a little, going to hug her again and scenting her. Naomi froze but returned the hug after getting over her surprise.

"You smell different," she said, trying to move away from him, her posture still too rigid.

"Yes, well, it's probably just the residual of the drugs still in my system," he responded, bending down to grab the other suitcase and making his way back to the stairs.

"Michael and Lucifer want to speak with you. They're still trying to shake the surprise off but asked to see and make sure you are still... yourself." Castiel turned back to look at her, giving her a small smile.

"Of course, Mother."

Naomi cleared her throat, looking down at her hands, taking the gloves she had been wearing off.

"James and Emmanuel said they would try to come here from Illinois to see you. James says Claire has been asking about you constantly since we found out you were-" she paused, looking up at him, "since we found out you are alive." Castiel nodded in understanding, his heart painfully twisting thinking about his own pup and how he had failed to look for them or ask April about them before he and April had been found. Since he landed back in the States, Castiel had bombarded his mother about talking to Lucifer and Michael about finding his pup.

"Gabriel's in Paris with Balthazar drinking away their lives and your Father is in New York for business," she continued, still trying to avoid his gaze. There was silence before he sighed and looked down.

"Okay," he mumbled, turning back around and assuming the conversation over. Naomi did not try to stop him as Castiel made his way up the stairs slowly, making it all the way up and back to his old room and breathing in. He sighed in relief once he finally made it inside, taking everything around him in with a sense of nostalgia. The air smelled stale but it was all him and Castiel could live with that. The overwhelming scents at the hospital had made him throw up on more than one occasion.

He threw the bags down on the floor next to his bed and looked around his room. His science posters were still up, the dark blue paint on the walls looked old but provided the room with some shadow which was very welcomed at the moment. The desk Castiel had used during his high school years was still neatly organized, not even a speck of dust on it.

His mother liked everything to be thoroughly cleaned. Castiel smiled at that thought, his head spinning and making him sway.

Castiel made his way to his bed, lying face down and closing his eyes. He just wanted to lose himself in the darkness of sleep and forget the last five year. To just pretend like nothing had happened. He tried to stop all the thoughts going through his head, every image of April and her constant threats and his worries about his pup and fall asleep.

Nothing was better than the darkness of slumber surrounding him.

  
**xXx**

 

"Daddy, daddy!" Zoe squealed delightedly, running towards Dean. Dean smiled and bent down to catch his baby girl in his arms.

"Hey, baby. How was daycare today?" He said, putting her down after squeezing her one last time, making Zoe sway.

"It was really fun! Aunt Jo said that I'm the best niece in the world! She gave me some Twix and said to tell you to stop aviving her?" Dean smiled down at her, his heart swelling with so much love for his baby girl.

"Avoiding, baby."

"Yeah, that word," she said excitedly clapping her hands. She smiled up at him and grabbed his hand as they started making their way to Dean's car. "We did so much things today, daddy. We talked about Halloween and dressing up. And Ms. Moseley brought Terry in today to talk about him and tell us all about how to take care of kittens," Zoe talked excitedly, swinging their joined hands as they kept walking. "Did you know that cats have belly buttons?" She said, looking up at Dean, a little frown on her face like she couldn't believe it was possible. She reminded him so much of Castiel when she did that.

"Well, no, I did not know that cats had belly buttons..." he trailed off, looking down at her. They kept walking, stopping momentarily to check the street before crossing.

"Hm... Do you think uncle Sam knows they do, daddy? I don't think he knows. Can we call him, daddy, and ask?" Dean picked his daughter up opening the door and putting Zoe in her car seat once they had reached the car.

"Sure, baby. Let me just put your seatbelt on and then we can ask Siri to call him," Dean said, clicking the seatbelt on his daughter and smiling down at her. She smiled wide at him, reaching for his face with both her little hands. She leaned in to kiss him and smile when she moved back.

"Thank you, daddy!" She said, letting him go. Dean smiled again, unable to believe how lucky he was to have his baby girl in his life. He took two steps back to close the door. He walked back to the driver's side, opening the door and getting in. Dean looked back through the rearview mirror, looking at his daughter safely on the back and smiling at him. Dean chuckled, always glad to see his daughter in such a good mood.

"Okay, pup, do the honors," he said, putting the key in the ignition and turning it on.

"Siri, call uncle Sam," Zoe's voice came out excitedly, flapping her feet and clapping her hands. Dean laughed at her, feeling the contentment settle in.

"Calling uncle Sam," repeated the automatic voice, making Zoe let out a full body laugh. Dean let the sound of that laughter washed over him, making him feel like maybe one day, it would be enough to fill the big void he still had in his chest when he thought of Castiel. If he could just-

"Dean?" He heard Sam's voice fill in the car, bringing him back to reality. Dean focused completely back on the road, glancing back at Zoe once in a while.

"Hey, Sammy. Zoe says she has a very important question for you," Dean responded, stopping at a red light, turning his body to smile at his daughter. Zoe chuckled before she started speaking.

"Uncle Sam, did you know that cats have belly buttons?" Zoe's tone turned so serious when asking her question it made it difficult for Dean to keep his laugh in. "Daddy, this is not funny. This is a serious question."

"Of course, it is, baby," he replied, turning to look back at the road, the light still on red. Dean heard some noise on the other side of the line, making him frown in confusion, his eyes focusing on the small screen in front of him and wondering if his brother was okay.

"Dean, have you seen the news?" He heard Sam asked, his voice shaky and worried which confused Dean and worried him, too.

"Sam, what's going on? Is everyone okay-"

"Uncle Sam you haven't answered my question," Zoe said, her voice sounding annoyed for being ignored. Dean smiled, seeing the light turn green making him drive again.

"Uh, hey, sweetheart. How are you?" Sam replied, trying to keep calm. Dean let it go, seeing since Sam wasn't telling him about what had been on the news, he didn't deem it important and relaxed. Sam was probably stressed about work and not seeing Sarah for the past three days due to her job and it probably had made him a little anxious. Sam probably wanted to talk about some law or politics that was surely being discussed on T.V.

"I'm okay. It's Henry there with you?" Zoe asked, smiling once again, her previous question completely forgotten.

"Yeah, he is. Do you want to talk to him, Zoe?" Zoe nodded her head excitedly making Dean chuckle and answer for her.

"Hey, Zoe. Guess what? Daddy and mommy said they would take us to the water park if we're good," Henry said, all excitement and happiness.

Dean heard Zoe's excited squeal before addressing him.

"Daddy, can I please go with aunty Sarah, uncle Sam and Henry to the water park?" Dean smiled, briefly looking at his daughter through the rearview mirror before looking at the road again.

"Sam, have you planned everything? When is Sarah coming back?" Dean turned a left, stopping at a stop sign letting some pedestrians cross the street.

"Uh, she said she'd be back by Friday. I've been talking to her every night since she left and Henry was getting a little upset about not spending much time with her anymore-"

"She's always busy, uncle Dean. We never go to the park. It's always just daddy and me," Henry said, his voice sounding dejected.

"Aw, buddy. I'm sure she's upset that she doesn't get to spend time with you, either," Dean responded, making another turn to his street.

"I know, but I just want to spend time with her. A mommy and son day, like you have with Zoe." Dean frowned, looking back at Zoe before returning his eyes on the road ahead.

"Hey, you mean you're tired of spending time with me, big man?" Sam asked, making Zoe giggled in the back making Dean sigh in relief. He knows that Henry doesn't mean any harm, but Dean tried to refrain from mentioning the Zoe-only-has-one-parent thing. It made him feel guilty when he saw the sadness in his little girl. Sam knew which he was grateful for the little distraction.

"No, daddy. I just want to spend time with mommy," He heard Henry say. Sam chuckled before going back to the previous conversation.

"Anyway, yeah. We can take Zoe from you for the weekend and you can maybe go to The Roadhouse and see Ellen and Jo. They have been on my back asking about you and when you're going to go visit them." Dean laughed, finally reaching their house, new home because after what happened with Castiel, Dean couldn't stand living in their old house. He moved closer to Sam and Charlie, a little-redheaded omega who worked in I.T. at Novaks Corp. and sometimes babysat Zoe for Dean, a little bit after Zoe turned one.

"Sure thing. Just make sure to bring her back on Sunday morning. I also want some daddy-daughter bonding time," Dean put the car in park before unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to look at his daughter who smiled at him.

"Great, we'll drop by on Friday evening to pick Zoe up, then."

"Thank you, uncle Sam!" Zoe tried undoing her seatbelt, looking up at Dean with a little pout when she couldn't undo it.

"No problem, sweetheart. Dean, I don't want to tell you over the phone, but make sure you watch the news when you get home, okay?" Dean frowned, reaching for Zoe's seat belt to undo it.

"Uh, sure. Thanks, Sammy."

"Also, Benny's back to working at The Roadhouse, Dean. Just a heads up." Dean tensed up, letting go of Zoe's seatbelt when it became undone.

"Since when?" Dean asked, his frowned deepening.

"I don't know. Didn't ask either," Sam stated. Dean opened the car door, turning the ignition off and disconnecting his iPhone from its cord. He brought the phone up to his ear while opening the car door and getting out. He made his way to Zoe's side, opening the door and picking her up, carrying her on his left hip and closing the car.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Ellen and Jo are my family, too and I won't just not show up and visit them once in awhile because Benny's there." Dean walked up to the front door holding his phone with his right shoulder while using his free hand to unlock the door. He opened the door and walked in, throwing his keys on top of the little welcoming bowl that laid on the little table next to the entrance. "Plus, I think a drink or two could help me relax." He put Zoe down on the couch before walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge.

"Well, good for you. Have fun and maybe have some fun with someone-"

"Not happening, Sammy." Dean got the chicken out, putting it in the sink while he waited for it to fill up with hot water. He heard Sam sighed, but despite his brother's attempts, and Charlie's and even his mom's, Dean had refused to see, let alone date, someone after what happened with Castiel. Dean couldn't even swallow the idea of someone else touching him again. Not after Castiel. He was scared he would wash away the memory of Castiel and the last time they made love.

"Yeah, I figured that'd be your response. Especially after you watch the news. You're probably not even going to believe it." Dean rolled his eyes because he was tired of his brother's games. He turned the faucet off leaving the chicken to unfreeze and walking back towards the living room where his daughter was, now playing with one of her dolls and watching Disney Channel.

"Hm... Baby, would you like some chicken for dinner?" Zoe looked up at him, frowning and shaking her head.

"I'm not hungry, daddy," she replied, turning her attention back to the T.V. Dean sighed and walked back to the kitchen.

He heard Sam chuckled, "Well, I guess I'll talk to you later. Make sure you call mom by the way. She wants to know how you and Zoe are doing," Sam continued, Dean let another tired sigh.

"Have I really neglected to check in with them?" Dean heard Sam laugh making him roll his eyes again, a smile playing on his lips.

"Dude, if it wasn't for the fact we live so close to each other and Zoe and Henry love to spend so much time together, I would probably be nagging Charlie at the office to make you check in with me, too." Dean got the chicken from the sink, putting it in a big bowl before unwrapping it.

"Okay, fine. I'll call them soon."

"And watch the news, please. If you need anything, Dean, I'm here for you." Dean looked up at the ceiling not in the mood for an emotional scene right now.

"Yeah, yeah, Sasquatch. Thanks for everything." They said their goodbyes and Dean hung up. He put his phone on the dining table before going back to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

It wasn't very long while he seasoned the chicken when his phone was ringing again. Dean groaned annoyed for the distraction.

He walked towards the dining table, grabbing his phone and rolling his eyes upon seeing who the caller was.

"Gabriel, I swear to everything that is sacred, if you just called to wast-"

"Turn the T.V. on Deano," Gabriel's voice was shaky, nervous and maybe even hysterical.

"You too? What's going on? Why is everyone so-"

"Fuck, Dean, just turn the news on," Gabriel said, his voice annoyed and frustrated.

"Okay, okay. Just wait for a second," Dean said, walking towards the living room where Zoe still was playing with her dolls, the show she had been watching completely ignored. Dean went for the remote, taking his time while doing so.

"Dammit, Dean, could you be any slower? You're going to miss it!" Dean hurried his pace, turning the T.V. to the evening news. The image there was of the war in Afghanistan, the headline reading something about some soldiers rescuing a group of people who had been kidnapped according to the lady delivering the news. Dean's heart skipped a beat, his voice shaking.

"Gabe, what's going on?" He asked, his eyes still glued to the T.V.

"Daddy?" He heard Zoe say, probably scenting his fear.

"Turn it up, Dean," Gabriel's voice was shaky like he was holding back tears. Dean moved to do just that.

 _"...These soldiers have successfully rescued more than ten Americans who had been held hostage in Afghanistan for years; hostages who had been presumed dead by their loved ones. Sources say the leader of the group of kidnappers is April Kelly, who had manipulated enough American soldiers to do the dirty job for her. Some victims have been safely returned to their families, including Doctor Castiel Novak, who had been part of the Doctors Without Borders group touring in Afghanistan and whose multimillionaire family held a funeral for five years ago."_ They showed a picture of Castiel smiling. His face just as handsome as Dean remembered. He recognized the picture, it was the one Castiel had taken at his first official job as a doctor for his I.D. when he got his medical license. Dean stared unable to process everything, his heart beating erratically against his ribcage.

_"This travesty is being followed by our reporters who have been trying to get in contact with some of the victims and obtain more details of this horrific act. April Kelly has been arrested and brought back to America, her birthplace, to be put on trial. We have also received news that she was also part of an illegal organization dedicated to children prostitution. Authorities, however, have refused to say more on the matter and are now hopefully working very hard to put this woman and her accomplices behind bars. Back to you, John."_

"Oh my god," Dean let out a whimpered, the unshed tears obscuring his vision. He felt his hands shake still looking at the T.V.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Zoe moved towards him, but not too close. She looked scared of Dean's reaction. Dean let out a sob, his tears falling without effort.

"Gabriel," he said, his voice cracking. Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt his heart twisting painfully shaking his head before letting out another sob, his whole body shaking with the force of it.

"Cassie's alive, Deano. My baby brother's alive," Gabriel repeated, probably still trying to convince himself of this new reality.

"Oh, god, Gabriel. Five years, Gabe. I-"

"Daddy?" He heard Zoe's worried voice. Dean looked down at her, she looked like she was about to cry, too. But he was too shaken up to comfort her. "That was a picture of alpha daddy," she looked at him, hesitating for just a second but taking the rest of the steps to stand in front of him. Dean nodded his head, sobbing again.

"Yeah," his reply came out whispered. All he could hear was the pounding in his ear along with the buzzing of the surprise.

"Cas is alive," he heard the broken sob from Gabe's before the line went dead. Dean let his phone fall from his hand before grabbing his daughter and crying. "Cas is alive."

And if he said a few more times maybe the shock would wear off.

"Your dad's alive." He brought Zoe closer to him, scenting her, trying to draw some kind of comfort from her.

"Castiel's alive." He heard his phone ringing and Zoe's worried voice trying to call out for him but all he could do was hold on tighter and cry. He felt Zoe's tears on his neck before releasing her and grabbing his phone and answering.

"Dean, sweetheart, are you okay?" He heard his mom, probably calling to make sure he was still sane.

"Cas, mom," Dean heard Zoe still crying, he went to get her picking her up and hurriedly walking into his room.

"I know, baby, I just saw it on the news," Dean kept walking slamming the door shut, laying on his bed with Zoe on top of him. He closed his eyes, scenting the top of her head. But nothing he tried could calm him down. Dean started crying harder, Zoe laying on his chest crying on top of him and all he could think about doing was to hold on tighter to his daughter and breathe her scent in.

"I need you to come get Zoe, mom. She's freaking out and I can't comfort her-" he felt Zoe shaking her head, crying because of him and clutching onto his shirt tighter.

"No, I don't want to leave you alone, daddy."

"Mom, Cas, is alive," and that's the last coherent thing said before he became a crying mess holding onto his daughter while she held his face, hiding hers in the crook of his neck and scenting him. Quietly crying with him.

"I texted, Sam. He'll be there soon," Mary said, her tone worried. Dean shook his head and clenched his eyes shut.

Castiel's alive.

“W-What am I going to do? Mom, I don’t know - it’s been _five years._ ” Dean sniffed, his heart twisting and beating way too fast. He didn’t know what to think, he couldn’t completely process what was happening.

“It's okay, honey, everything’s going to be fine,” his mother said, trying to sooth the pain away. Dean felt his daughter calming down, her hiccups slowing down.

“Is Zoe okay? Put her on the phone, Dean.” His mother’s voice was worried, trying to get him to snap out of his shock.

“Yeah, mom, she’s fine - she just got scared,” Dean looked at his daughter, feeling the overwhelming love he felt for her when it finally sank in. Zoe was going to be able to meet her father. She was actually going to be able to know what it felt having two parents.

Dean let out a choked out sob, smiling and crying and laughing all at once. After all these years of having to show pictures of Castiel and talking about how great he would’ve been as a father to Zoe, his baby girl was really going to have the opportunity to experience that. His baby girl was going to finally meet the love of his life - her father and Dean couldn’t handle his emotions. Instead of worrying about it anymore, Dean just held his daughter tighter and smiled through the tears. His heart skipping a beat at the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing at the moment. Thanks to whoever was up there for second chances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope i didn't disappoint y'all! I really am sorry if this did not live up to all yalls expectations! Thanks for reading anyway. (:


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting so late, I got caught up with my fam and I just now had some time to post.
> 
> Also, I wanna thank y'all for all the kind words and the support y'all have shown this story. I really did not expect it.
> 
> Btw, I've decided to update Sundays instead because it'll give time for my other stories. So, just letting y'all know.
> 
> Anyway, as promised! Here's chapter 3.
> 
>  **TW:** Mentions of rape, child prostitution, mentions of abortion

* * *

 

"It's good to see you again, brother," Michael said, standing in front of him stretching his hand out towards Castiel. Despite the fact that he really wanted to have some more emotion into the welcome back situation, Castiel ignored it. Instead, he thought of a better setting - a better reality. Maybe a reality where Dean was waiting for him with open arms and welcoming him back - his scent surrounding Castiel even if it made him nauseous and dizzy. He just wanted to be okay again - he just wanted some relief, happiness and emotions and everything that Castiel knew Dean would be offering to him in that moment. But those were childish dreams, Dean was probably all well and happy with Benny and Castiel was going to stay here in this reality. His reality.

Castiel didn't know what he was expecting from his family seeing as they have never been the kind of family to show much affection. However, after not seeing them in five years he was really expecting a lot more than a few handshakes, a couple of _good to see you, Castiel'_ s followed by tense moments. But he knew he couldn't really blame them. Those five years missed could have done a one-eighty on anyone, especially knowing how his whole family thought him dead. Showing up all of a sudden was difficult to process, Castiel knew.

"Hello, Michael," he responded, grabbing Michael's hand and holding it tight as reassurance. Castiel was so glad to see everyone, it didn't matter who they were. He was genuinely okay and happy with seeing everyone no matter how much their scents may affect him.

"Castiel, you look different... smell different," he heard Lucifer's voice say behind Michael. He brought his gaze to Lucifer's smiling a little and nodding his head.

"Yes, I'm assuming that's what happens when you spent five years in a room with only one person with no way out and residual of drugs in your system," he joked as a deflection from his feelings, something he had successfully learned from Dean oh so long ago. Lucifer smiled, distant and forced like he thought Castiel's sense of humor of this tragedy didn't sit well with the moment.

"So I hear," his brother responded. Lucifer moved forward, patting his shoulder and taking the few steps back. "Michael and I wanted to speak to you about the whole... missing pup ordeal," he continued, the change of topic way too sudden for Castiel. His brothers didn't sit down and Castiel could just assume they weren't going to stay long. They were here for business, hear whatever they needed to hear and leave after they had discussed everything.

Castiel didn't want to admit it but he felt upset. He would've really appreciated some warm welcoming, some bonding time with his brothers - talk about how they had passed the last five years. To know if Lucifer was still seeing Lilith since he couldn't use his sensitive nose to tell her scent on his brother. Ask Michael if he had found someone to care for - talk about how the rest of their brothers have been but he got none of that. Castiel could understand, too. They couldn't stop their lives just to fill Castiel in on what had happened during the past five years he had missed. They had more pressing matters to worry about than conversing with Castiel and wasting their time.

He heard Michael clearing his throat, the living room's air in the room way too tense for a welcome-back-home moment.

"I-I don't know where April might have the pup, but I knew they stayed with us in that house. I didn't get to ask April about the pup before I was taken and everyone else seemed to just want to get out of there as fast as they willed their feet to move." Castiel felt the constricting pain in his chest, his breaths coming rapid and shallow as he went on trying to explain himself as best as he could. "I know the pup is maybe three years old by now... April tended to come in and tell me when their birthday was. I was not very lucid during my years there. Everything just blended together: the days, the hours, the minutes. I didn't have much of anything there," he finished, taking a deep breath and looking down, feeling his brothers' gazes on him.

Michael sighed as if this situation was already taking too much of a toll on him. Castiel looked up at him apologetically.

"Castiel, brother, you do realize the difficulty of your situation? How are we going to find a pup in a brothel? I'm sure the omega whores were having kids left and right and giving them to the alphas that impregnated them. What makes you think April kept the child and not gave it away to another alpha for money?"

"They were there against their will, Lucifer. Those 'omega whores' as you so delicately put it were forced into that life, have some sympathy," Castiel replied, his body tensed and rigid. Lucifer scoffed rolling his eyes and shaking his head before returning his gaze to Castiel.

"Please, those omegas were getting paid for their 'struggles', Castiel," Lucifer replied, turning to the table next to the back of the couch he was leaning against off, grabbing a glass and pouring some scotch in it. "If they hated it so much they could've easily walked away from it."

Castiel looked towards Michael in disbelief at what he was hearing, but Michael looked unimpressed, not caring at all about what their brother was saying.

"Lucifer, what about them being _forced_ into that situation did you not comprehend?" Castiel asked, his body aching from all the tension he was experiencing.

Lucifer turned back to look at him, raising his left eyebrow in question and taking a sip of his drink. He brought the class down, moving his wrist in a circular motion stirring his drink, while he tucked his left hand in the pocket of his slacks.

"Oh, brother, here I thought you had learned your lesson after your failed marriage with that omega- what was his name again, Dan?" Castiel felt the rage in him, both of his hands clenching tight into fists hanging on either side of his body. Lucifer sighed as if done with this conversation. "Look, Castiel, I know that your morals might get offended by the reality of the situation, but those omegas aren't any better than your cheating ex-husband, the omega whore-" Castiel let out a growled, his body rigid and too much for his sore, strained body.

"I am not discussing that with you, Lucifer. You are here to help me find my pup and that's all you're allowed to discuss in my life at the moment," Castiel said, his voice menacing and angry. He knew that if his nose wasn't failing him right now, he would be able to smell the rage he was letting off. He saw Michael straighten up through his peripheral vision, his composure becoming defensive as if ready to stop Castiel at any moment if Castiel decided to go for it and attacked their brother.

Michael cleared his throat again, fixing his suit jacket and grabbing Castiel's attention.

"Very well, we would let the authorities know about your missing pup and see what we can do," Michael nodded, walking towards the living room's exit but stopping momentarily to look at Lucifer. "Lucifer, brother, if you please could accompany me. We have things to take care of and discuss," he said, nodding towards Lucifer's direction. Lucifer sighed, bringing his drink up and gulping down the rest of it. He turned slightly to set the glass back on the glass holder and turning back before walking out of the room without glancing at Castiel. Michael nodded, looking at Castiel once again.

"The Government has requested to pay your medical bills. They also rewarded you with two-hundred-fifty-thousand dollars for any emotional damage you might have suffered," Michael tucked both his hand into the front pockets of his slacks standing up straight holding Castiel's gaze. "They also offered more money if you kept quiet about the whole... rape accusations."

"Do you want me to keep quiet, Michael?" Castiel asked, tired of standing. He walked backward to the couch behind him, taking a seat resting his elbows on his thighs and holding his head with his hands. He refused to look at Michael while they discussed this part of his case.

"I believe it would save the family from more scandals. Your divorce with Dean is still discussed in the more popular mainstream news every once in a while. The whole ordeal of you leaving him everything - the family company - and him taking over most of the Novak's business has been circulating once again now that you're back and alive," Michael said, giving his opinion yet not voicing it completely. Castiel knew his brother wouldn't explicitly tell him to drop the rape charges, but he would definitely hint at it.

"Very well. I honestly don't even care for that. Just find my pup, Michael, please. I'm assuming now that my rape is out of the table you can solely focus on finding them," he replied, still holding his head, feeling the beginning of a headache starting to consume him.

Michael cleared his throat before making his way out, too.

"I'll send mother in," he said as a goodbye before leaving Castiel alone.

Castiel sighed, his head now pounding painfully with everything going through his mind. He felt so tired and nauseous - he couldn't stand the smells impregnated in the room, his nose still too sensitive to be able to handle all the combined scents. They were all bothering him to no extent he really wished he could go back to his room. If he could just make his head stop spinning and stand up-

"Castiel, how are you feeling?" He heard his mother ask, her voice still distant, her worry forced and her sympathy felt wrong to have.

"I'm fine, Mother, I'll just go back up to my room." Castiel stood, holding himself with one hand along the side of the couch wishing everything would stop spinning. He walked slowly, yet still trying to get out of the room as fast as possible to avoid another useless and unsatisfying conversation with his mother. Michael and Lucifer's presence had been enough for him today no matter how much he believed he could handle more than that at first.

"James and Emmanuel will be here tonight, Castiel. Amelia, Claire, and Daphne will be here with them as well, so I suggest you get ready if you don't wish for them to see you like this," his mother said, voice strained. He turned to look at her, his surroundings still swaying.

"Of course, mother. I'll be ready before they make it here." He resumed his walk back to the stairs, going up slowly, holding onto the rails as tightly as he could so he wouldn't fall. He felt so exhausted, so angry and hurt. What was wrong with him? His recovery shouldn't feel like he was falling deeper into the dark well he had fallen into when April got a hold of him. Everything felt so different now, so much more like an obligation than anything else.

When he was at the hospital, he even sometimes wished he was back in that room in Afghanistan, alone and delirious because he truly couldn't handle this new reality. The only thing he had to worry about, then was keeping April in her good graces and everything was well. He just had to let her do what she pleased with him, do what she wanted him to do to her and be left alone once she left. Everything wasn't too overwhelming in that room - everything blended together and he had the security that their pup was there in the same house as them safe and okay.

Everything there seemed a lot more simple. All of it ran its twisted course with April smoothly. April had everything under her control and everything for Castiel was, maybe not good, but endurable. He was there and well, the drugs pumping through his system keeping him in a state of mind where he didn't have to think - didn't have to  _feel_. Castiel sometimes wished he could go back to it and wasn't that the most fucked up thing he could possibly want?

He kept going up the stairs, finally reaching the top, walking down the hallway and stopping in front of his door. He leaned his head against it, feeling the way his blood was rushing through his head, the pounding in his head unyielding as he felt the cold sweat on his body. Castiel prayed to the God he had given up on in Afghanistan to just take him away and make everything stop hurting. Prayed that this time that same God he had prayed to would listen and end everything. He wanted to be numb to everything - wanted to be far away in the darkness of slumber.

Castiel breathed in, thinking how feeling sad for himself was not going to make anything better. Like April had said so many times to him in the past - nothing about his situation was going to change. Castiel was destined to a life of nothing but solitude and pain with no purpose or idea of what to do.

He thought of Dean again, imagining how the past five years would have been if Castiel hadn't found him with Benny in their bed. Maybe he should have forgiven Dean - stayed with him. Let Dean do with Benny whatever he pleased, but at least still have him come back to Castiel whenever he needed him in their bed. Castiel truly believed he should've kept his mouth shut and let Benny and Dean see each other as long as Dean came back to him in the end. Castiel thought about that and how different things would've been the past five years if he had just ignored Dean's mistake and stayed with him.

Castiel opened the door to his room, walking in and crawling on top of the bed, his head feeling too heavy for him to fight it anymore and just resting it on top of his pillow.

Yes, everything would've been a lot better.

**xXx**

 

"Dean, boy, if it ain't good to see you," Dean heard Ellen greet as soon as he walked into The Roadhouse that afternoon. The place was not as packed as it usually is during the night. He carried Zoe in with him, a purse full of things for her, while his daughter had her little hands wrapped around his neck, looking around with a little scowl set on her face.

"Hey, Ellen, how are you?" He asked, going around the bar to hug Ellen, smiling at the scent of her smelling like home and security. "I brought Zoe with me, Sam said you wanted to see us," he said, his smile now strained, nervous, anxious.

"Hi, Aunt Ellen," Zoe unhooked one her arms from around Dean's neck to waved at Ellen. Ellen smiled looking over at her.

"Well, look at you, Sweetpea. All big and beautiful," Ellen said, moving forward to take the little from Dean's arms. Dean let go of his daughter, feeling a gaze on them but ignoring it.

"Listen, Ellen, do you think you could take care of her for a few hours? Gabriel is landing today and he asked me to go pick him up but I don't want her to be there because-"

"Because you want to talk to Gabriel about Castiel," Ellen finished for him, nodding her head and smiling in understanding.

"I know it's a dick move-"

"Daddy!"

"Sorry, baby. It's a _messed up_ move," he corrected himself, pointedly glancing at his daughter for approval only to see her nodding in satisfaction. "But I really don't want her to..." he trailed off, looking at Zoe again and smiling at her. Ellen looked at Zoe as well, smiling at her.

"Well, what do you say, Sweetpea? Do you want to spend some time with this old lady today?" She asked, tickling Zoe's side making her laughed out loud and thrash against her trying to get Ellen to stop.

"Yes, yes! Aunt Ellen, I will," she said, giggling and gasping for air.

"Okay, then. If this princess wants to hang out with-"

"Hello, Cher," a voice said from behind them. Dean tensed up, the alpha behind him too close to him than he was comfortable with. Dean took a few steps forward, glancing behind and nodding in acknowledgment before returning his gaze back to Ellen and his daughter.

"Okay, well, I brought a bag of things for her. There're some snacks for her in there if she gets hungry between meals. Her favorite toys and some extra clothes just in case. There's some milk in there, too. Could you please take it out and put it in the fridge so it doesn't go bad? And make sure she drinks it all at some point-"

"Daddyyyy, why?" Zoe complained, looking at him and pouting. Dean smiled a little looking up at her about to answer.

"Because you're omega daddy says so, sugar. You have to listen to him," he heard Benny say making Dean feel irritated for the nerve he had of trying to reprimand his daughter.

"Benny, I think I can handle my daughter just fine. If you could please refrain from trying to do the parental service here I would really appreciate it," Dean replied. His voice cold as ice but not turning around to look at Benny. He focused his attention on his daughter instead, "please drink your milk, baby. You know you need all those vitamins since you refuse to stop being a picky eater." Dean went to tickle his daughter, smiling when he heard her laugh.

"Alright, then, boy. You can leave her here with me. I'm sure Jo would love to spend some time with her, too since she only got to see her two days ago at daycare. You need to stop going MIA boy and come visit your family," Ellen smiled at him, still holding Zoe. "Don't you agree, princess," she bounced Zoe in her arms, his daughter giggling.

"I agree with, Ellen, Cher," Benny said, making his way back to the other side of the bar to serve some customers. Dean felt the anger coursing through his vein. He just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

He closed his eyes and breathed in, trying to keep the anger from taking over his scent.

"Just ignore him, Dean, he'll get the hint at some point," Ellen said, trying to get his attention. Dean let out a sigh, looking down before meeting her gaze.

"Okay. Just make sure she's okay Ellen, please. I'll come get her with Gabriel as soon as he settles in at his house," he said, passing the bag to her and tucking his hand into his jeans pockets. "Thank you, Ellen, really. I'm sorry I've neglected to come see you and Jo."

"And also for keeping this princess all to yourself, too," Ellen continued, making Zoe smiled wide at her. Dean looked at his daughter his heart swelling. Castiel was going to be able to see how amazing their daughter is soon enough. "Well, you better go, then. Zoe and I will be fine."

Dean nodded, leaning to kiss his daughter's cheek and then Ellen's.

"Thank you, Ellen, I really appreciate it." Ellen waved her hand dismissively, going out the door behind the bar where the stairs were leading to the rooms upstairs probably to go see Jo. Dean sighed, turning around to leave but stopping when Benny got in his way.

"Don't I get a kiss, too, Sugar?" Benny asked, extending his arms as if silently asking for a hug.

"Fuck off, Benny. I'm not in the mood to deal with you," Dean replied, trying to step around him but Benny blocked his way again, grabbing Dean by the hips.

"Oh, come on, Sugar. Now I know that ain't the way to greet an old friend and lover," Benny held onto his hips harder bringing him in and scenting him. Dean went rigid, quickly getting his hands out of his pocket to push Benny away.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself again, Benny. Leave me alone," Dean glared at him, trying once again to step around and this time successfully so. He barely took two steps before Benny spoke again.

"Sugar, that wasn't what you wanted me to do that night," he said, too loudly for Dean's liking. Dean froze looking around wishing no one heard anything before turning back around to look at Benny.

"Five years, Benny. Five, that's how long ago that was. Can't you get over yourself? I don't want to have anything to do with you. Leave me alone," Dean hissed, his scent turning sour with his rage. But nothing stopped Benny, he simply smiled at him, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I heard about that ex-husband of yours being alive and back home. What are you expecting, for him to forget about that night? To forget the fact that that wasn't the only night we-"

"Don't you fucking finish that sentence, Benny. I won't fucking care about your alpha pride and beat the sass out of you. You know damn well that night was the only time we did that. And for fuck's sake, I swear to everything that is sacred that I wish I hadn't done anything that night." Dean growled, moving forward but not too close. "I wish I had ignored your call like I had planned to do. I wish I had sent you home and not cared that Andrea had kicked you out,” he replied, his anger very palpable in the air as he desperately let himself voice the thoughts with no restraint.

“You wound me, Cher,” Benny replied taking a step back and looking at him.

“I’m sure it doesn’t hurt as much as it hurt Cas when he found us together in his bed,” he replied, moving closer. “I’m sure it doesn’t hurt as much as it hurt me when I had to sign those divorce paper and see Cas walked out of that courtroom.” He glared at Benny, his knuckles turning white feeling his nails digging into his palms.

“Oh, sugar, I think you’re forgetting that not all of it is my fault. You decided to go through with it, you decided to let things happened between us-”

“And I don’t know why I did. 'Til this day I can’t figure out why the hell I did it. Even that night five years ago, after everything happened, I went back to another room because I could fucking stand the smell of _that_ fucking room and I thought to myself why in the hell had I been stupid enough to ruin the only good thing I had at that time.” Dean knew his scent had turned too strong with his anger, feeling some of the few customers’ attention on them. He turned away, done with this conversation only then realizing he had probably revealed a lot more than he was comfortable with Benny knowing. Dean tried to walk away and leave but he hadn’t even taken two steps when Benny began to speak again.

“With an attitude like that, I don’t think you’re fit to be a parent.” Dean rolled his eyes but didn’t turn around to face Benny. Yet he still felt the rage ignite in him, “and what do you expect from this anyway? How do you know he’s not going to assume she’s mine? There ain’t no way he could tell it's his. She looks exactly like you the only difference between the two of you is the hair, but he can simply assume she got that from me. I mean, hell, for all I know she’s been mine all along knowing you-"

“Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence, Benny. You know damn well that only happened once,” he yelled, stalking towards Benny and shoving him against the wall behind them. “Stop trying to claim me as yours, because I'm not. Stop trying to say she’s yours because she’s not. She was conceived two months after that night and even if you’re bad at counting, asshole, we used a condom so it would’ve been impossible for her to be yours,” he hissed, shoving Benny harder against the wall and clutching his shirt tightly. Dean heard the screeching of chairs against the floor, probably some customers trying to intervene.

“I’m experiencing some deja vu here, Sugar,” Benny said trying to rile Dean up, smirking at him.

“Fuck off, Benny and fuck your fucking delusion.” Dean let go of him, still glaring at him. But Benny just laughed, looking down before returning his gaze to Dean.

“Isn’t it a shame that alpha of yours walked in on us, Cher? Well, it is for me. If he hadn’t interrupted, that kid would’ve been mine and not his, don’t you think, Sugar?” Dean’s body went rigid, his insides twisting and the disgust he was now experiencing growing within him.

“What are you talking about?” Dean tried to keep his anger at bay, but he was shaking his heart pounding, and his glare growing in intensity. Benny just stood there and smirked.

“It would’ve been a shame for you if that condom had been defective.” Benny looked at him, his own look malicious with that ugly smirk still covering his face. “Maybe that girl would’ve been mine for real and not his.” And this time Dean could feel his rage taking over, his insides twisting painfully. He heard steps behind him maybe some customer trying to get to him before he got his hands on Benny but they were too slow. Dean stalked towards Benny, shoving him hard and punching him. He felt two alphas grabbing his hands, pushing him off Benny before he could do any more damage.

“What the hell is going on?” Ellen came back in, this time by herself and Dean was grateful because he didn’t want his baby girl to see and hear what was being said and done.

“I would’ve aborted it, Benny. I would’ve done everything I could to get rid of it,” he growled, not knowing what else to do. Dean knew he sounded heartless to everyone there and he felt hurt because he couldn’t think of not having his baby girl in his life. But he didn’t take the words back because that baby wouldn't have truly been Zoe because she wouldn’t have the little of Cas she had. He said those words because the need to hurt Benny went beyond anything Dean could explain.

“I would’ve loved to see how that conversation had gone with that ex-husband of yours, how things would’ve turned out?” Dean tried to get away from the two alphas holding him back wanting to get to Benny and punching him again.

“Fuck you, Benny, fuck you and that fucking delusion you have,” he said, his rage burning so deep inside him. He tried to get away again, this time getting one of his arms free and reaching for Benny. Dean wanted to make him hurt, or scratch - anything to wipe that smile off of Benny’s face.

“Alright that’s enough,” Ellen said, making her way towards them, stopping in front of them. Dean tried to get away from the two alphas behind him but couldn’t. Benny just raised one of his eyebrows trying to wipe the blood off his nose.

“Next time I hear my daughter’s name out of your mouth, Benny, I will beat the shit out of you. You have no claim over her.” Dean kept glaring, his voice menacing and raw with emotion. Benny just chuckled and raised his head in defiance.

“Anytime, Sugar.”

“Enough! Benny, get your things and get out of my bar,” Ellen’s voice was commanding, leaving no room for argument. Benny just kept smiling, looking at Dean with his brow still raised.

“See you around, Cher,” he said, untying the apron off and throwing it on top of one the tables. Dean watched him go, wishing he could go after him and beat his face to a pulp.

“And boy, you better wait here for a while. I don’t want to hear you got into a fight with one of my ex-employees in my parking lot.” She nodded towards Dean, the look on her face softening after taking a glance at him.

Dean tried to shake the alphas off of him again, “get off me, for fuck’s sake. I’m not gonna try anything!” Dean shook them off, glaring at them when they finally let go before nodding towards Ellen’s direction and returning to their seats and dates. Ellen just stood there, looking at him while he tried to reign the anger he felt in.

She sighed, turning to grab one of the bottles from one of her top shelves. “Come here, Dean and have a drink.”

Dean tried to avoid her gaze by pretending to fix his shirt.

“I can’t, Ellen, I’m driving,” he stated, finally looking up at her. She smiled, pouring some whiskey into one of her glasses that were on the lower shelf, picking the glass and tipping it towards Dean in a silent toast before swallowing the contents. She brought the cup down and sighed.

“Ah, how responsible of you. I guess I have that daughter of yours to thank for it,” she responded. Dean tried to return the smile Ellen had thrown his way but it felt more like a grimace than anything else. She looked at him, leaning her head to her right side before continuing. “You know you can just tell him how old she is and he’ll figure it out.” Dean knew that Ellen was trying to be reassuring, but now that he didn’t have anything to take his anger out on he felt the fear and hurt settle in.

“But what if I barely have enough time to even say that much? What if I can’t get enough time to even tell him that? Ellen, apart from Gabriel, none of the Novaks talk to me. I’m just the cheap, throwaway omega slut. The only reason why they deal with me is because I owned fifty-two percent of their family’s company,” Dean sighed looking down and trying to explain his insecurities about the whole Zoe-meeting-Castiel situation.

“Well, I know that ain’t the Dean Winchester I know. Boy, you fight tooth and nail to try to talk to Castiel. You know as well as I do that Zoe deserves to know her father - to know what it feels like to experience everything that you so often talk to her about. Don’t go around giving up before you even tried.” Dean looked down, knowing Ellen was right. Zoe deserves to know her father to know what it feels like to have two parents who care for her despite anything. She deserves to know the great person Castiel is. She deserves that much.

Dean brought his gaze up, meeting Ellen’s and nodding, smiling a little in thanks.

“You’re right, Ellen. I appreciate your advice,” he whispered. Ellen just waved her hand dismissively.

“Boy, what is family for?” Dean smiled again, this time more sincere nodding in agreement.

He stayed a little longer just to reassure Ellen before saying his goodbyes and walking out of the bar hurriedly making his way to his car. Dean opened the door, putting the key in the ignition and turning it on, buckling his seatbelt on and driving out of the parking lot from The Roadhouse.

The ride to the airport was spent pondering about the new reality for him and Zoe - about Zoe and Castiel and how their whole meeting was going to go. He tried to imagine how they would react to each other’s presence. Dean assumed it could go only go so well under the circumstances they found themselves in, but he knew Castiel would never deny their daughter the time of the day to spend with him. Castiel had too much heart and love to give to do something like that.

With those thoughts in mind, Dean made it to the airport safely, paying for a parking space, turning the engine off and getting out to wait for Gabriel. His need to see to alpha and ask about his Cas growing with each passing minute.

It had been almost two hours when he finally saw Gabriel walking towards him, pulling his suitcase behind him. The look on the short alpha's face read anger and anxiety, and it all made Dean worry more. Gabriel reached him, looking up at him before looking around them.

“You didn’t bring her,” he said as a greeting, glancing up at Dean who just shrugged apologetically.

“Sorry, I didn’t think it would be a good setting to see you in,” Dean replied, following Gabriel once the short alpha started making his way out of the airport.

“No, it's good. I’m sure I smell like pissed off alpha at the moment.” Dean nodded, walking in front of Gabriel hurriedly to show the way to his car.

“What’s got you all in a bad mood, anyway? And where’s Balthazar?” Dean asked seeing his car ahead of them.

“Balthazar wasn’t with me, Dean, my dear cousin didn’t even know about the whole Castiel-being-alive situation. I called him today since mother failed to do so herself like she did with me.” Dean unlocked his car, opening the trunk and letting Gabriel put his suitcase in. He closed it before making his way to the driver's side and climbing in.

Dean turned the car on, waiting for Gabriel climb in as well. Finally, Gabriel opened the passenger’s door and got in, his scent still sour due to his anger but he didn’t seem to care nor acknowledge it. Gabriel just kept looking ahead and breathing in, his nose flaring.

“Well, that explains Balthazar, but it still doesn’t explain why you're in such a bad mood,” Dean said after a while, keeping the car in park.

Gabriel tensed, sitting up straight and closing his eyes.

“They’re making him stay quiet, Dean.” Dean tried to think about what Gabriel was talking about and the only thing that came to mind was Castiel. "Jimmy called me right before I boarded to tell me Lucifer and Michael are gonna talk him into staying quiet."

“What? What are you talking about? Quiet about what?” Dean felt his heart beating faster, the fear growing inside him.

Gabriel opened his eyes before looking at him and Dean was surprised to see the unshed tears in the alpha's eyes.

“That sick bitch, April Kelly developed some kind of obsession towards Cassie. Her ‘favorite alpha',” Gabriel sniffed, avoiding Dean’s gaze. Dean felt anger flare inside him again, trying to keep up with what Gabriel was telling him. “She got pregnant, had the pup but the pup is missing now.”

Dean tried to put the pieces together, his insides hurting.

“Castiel is having Michael and Lucifer look for the pup,” Gabriel let out a hiccup, Dean’s surroundings swaying. “They’re trying to make him keep quiet about the multiples rapes and the continuous sexual abuse he went through, Dean, all to spare the family another scandal,” Gabriel finished, his voice shaky and angry. Dean shook his head, clenching eyes close and trying to keep his emotions in check.

“They offered him a quarter of a million dollars to not mention he was raped and of course, Mother, Michael, and Lucifer agreed to it.” And Dean couldn’t keep it in much longer, his heart hurting for Castiel the tears falling down his face.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Dean slammed his fist against the steering wheel, not caring about the pain on his hand. Gabriel tried to stop him, desperately trying to make Dean focus on him.

“Stop, Dean, stop,” but Dean couldn’t. All he could do was cry, letting out a sob shaking his head and wishing he could go to Castiel and take care of him. Dean wanted nothing more in that moment than to be there and hold Castiel because he couldn’t believe Cas' fucking family was making him go through this. Making his poor alpha deal with this while ignoring such horrible things to spare themselves a scandal. He couldn’t fucking believe the heartless decision they had made for his alpha not once caring how it would affect Cas. Dean couldn't fucking believe it.

“I need to see him, Gabriel. I need to see him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I might sound annoying at this point but really guys - thank y'all so much for taking the time to read this story and saying all the nice things y'all leave on the comments. Like most of the time, I don't even know what to say so that's why I end up sounding repetitive. But I really mean it!! Thank you for everything!


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, yall. I hope yall are having a good sunday! Today is posting day and I actually didn't get distracted enough to post too late lol
> 
> I went over it but I got so annoyed toward the end of the chapter because I'm so tired of rereading it. I know it's not great but like I've said before - it's a lot better now than it had been before.
> 
> Anyway, lol I've been neglecting my other story here and I feel so bad but writing is hard and that story is getting a little too personal w my feelings so that's making it even harder to get through. I'll try to update it soon. 
> 
> Wow that's irrelevant to this story tho so I'm sorry. I just needed to vent. Whatever - here's chapter numero cuatro! Hope yall like. Oh also, thank you for reading!
> 
>  **TW:** flashbacks to rape

* * *

 

The drive to Gabriel's house was spent in relative silence. Just the sound of the engine as Dean drove and the traffic outside. Dean had stopped crying and calmed enough to drive but he still felt sick, upset and incredibly angry. His poor alpha had been through so much and Dean couldn't help but blame himself for all of it. Everything felt so oppressive, too much pressure against his lungs as he tried to breathe in. It hurt a great deal and he couldn't imagine how Castiel felt. Dean had desperately tried to stop the ache that he felt in his chest but he couldn't - he wished to go to Castiel, have their daughter with them and just care for them both. He wanted to keep them both safe and happy no matter what cost.

"Take a right, Dean," he heard Gabriel mumbled. Gabe had also kept to himself throughout the drive, not much to say after the news he had given Dean. Dean was surprised to see the extrovert alpha quiet and serious but was grateful for it. If anything, it meant that at least one of Castiel's brothers care enough to be angry about this whole traumatic, painful situation.

Dean took a right, while he let every thought and feeling coiled deep inside him, finally finding Gabriel's house and parking outside. He put the car in park, cutting the engine off and taking the keys out unlocking the car. He sighed before looking at Gabriel, who shook his head and got out the car without saying anything. Dean opened the trunk so Gabriel could get his suitcase, following behind Gabriel once he all his belongings in hand and started making his way into the house.

Gabriel's house was as peculiar as he was. But everything about Gabriel was unusual and, for a lack of a better word, unique. Different opaque colors covered the walls contrasting greatly with the bright colors of the couches and small settee and other decorations he deemed were perfect for the theme he was going for - whatever that theme was, Dean still couldn't figure it out.

He followed Gabriel in, walking into the living room and sitting down on the sofa chair that was diagonal to one of the couches. He nervously looked around the house, wiping the sweat from his hands on his jeans and trying to keep any thought off his mind for a moment. His gaze fell on top of the pictures that sat on the shelf on top of the chimney, one specifically drawing his attention. Dean sat up in his seat as he recognized all the Novaks in it.

Naomi - with a challenging presence and eyes that could make anyone run the other direction from where she came from - sat on an elegant chair, her posture as perfect as it was intimidating. She looked impeccable like any alpha envied to be. Her eyes looked ice blue, emotionless and determinedly distant, matching perfectly with her royal blue dress. A perfect attire, matched with a pair of expensive white heels that without a doubt made Dean think of her as the typical ice queen. Mr. Novak senior - who Dean had only met once in his life before and failed to remember his first name - sat next to her, his hand resting on Naomi's thigh in a possessive manner. His grey suit well fitting without a single wrinkle on it made his skin looked tanned, his long silvering hair slicked back well kept and groomed with eyes so immensely blue it reminded Dean of Castiel. Those eyes almost as beautiful as Castiel's except on Mr. Novak, they looked cold as Naomi's and too condescending. Even now staring at the photograph, that gaze made Dean feel less than the dirt on Gabriel's wooden floor.

All of their sons all stood behind them - Michael taking his place in between their parents, his suit also well fitting looking just like his father. Lucifer stood behind Naomi, his father's condescending attitude reflected in the smirk on his face, eyes just like his Mother's - distant and cold, and emotionless. Gabriel stood behind their father - smile playful and full of mirth, his hazel eyes clear and a completely different hue from his parents. Dean thought that maybe Gabriel had gotten his eyes from the beta woman Mr. Novak had had his adventure with.

 _So much for a perfect family,_ Dean thought but even as the thought made the way to his mind, it made him feel like a hypocrite.  _You judge and yet here you are..._

He moved on to the triplets - Naomi's last pregnancy after Gabriel had been born and she couldn't stand the thought of her husband's touch on her, or so he had heard. The triplets looked so much alike, and yet Dean could still tell Castiel apart from Emmanuel and Jimmy. While Jimmy might have been closer in perspectives with Castiel, Dean had always been able to differentiate his alpha from his brothers as easily as breathing air. There was just something about Castiel that called to Dean. Emmanuel stood on Lucifer's right side, his eyes so close to Castiel's in hue but the spark he so often caught in Cas' missing. Jimmy stood in between Michael and Lucifer, his smile more gentle, sincere and welcoming - maybe a little more close to Castiel's than Emmanuel's. Dean focused his eyes on his alpha, who stood between Michael and Gabriel, the corner of his eyes wrinkling with a smile barely there on his lips while he looked at the camera, his expression open and handsome as always. To a lovesick Dean, he looked like what all those romance books often described to be the perfect alpha. The first time Dean had seen Cas, the same expression he was looking at the moment had made him swoon, heart faltering and butterflies go crazy in his stomach - Dean couldn't believe the cliche and disgustingly romantic feeling - he had been gone the moment their eyes had met at a college party ten years ago. Looking at the photograph, Dean could just feel how that smile Castiel held in that frozen moment was directed at him rather than the person taking the picture.

Dean stood up, going to grab the picture and looking at it, his insides melting with so much nostalgia and love and hurt for his little alpha.

"It took me plenty of jokes to get him to smile a little," he heard Gabriel say from the other side of the living room. Dean smiled sadly, standing there and looking at the picture.

"Yeah, he had- _has_ \- the worst sense of humor," Dean replied, holding the picture for a few seconds longer as if trying to take a mental copy of it.

"Come on, Deano, let's go get my niece. I haven't seen that kid in months," Gabriel said, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against of and loudly clapping his hands. Dean scoffed, looking up at Gabriel with pretend irritation marring his face.

"Well, you have no one to blame but yourself," he responded, putting the picture back where it was, giving it one last glance and making his way towards Gabriel who now stood next to the door holding it open. "What about unpacking and settling in?" Dean asked.

"The housekeeper will do that for me," he replied, shrugging carelessly. "Omegas first," he mumbled. Dean raised a questioning brow at him, scoffing and rolling his eyes in response to it.

"What? I'm trying to practice for Kali. She has frequently stated that she wishes for a mate to worship the ground she walks on." Gabriel followed Dean out, closing before locking the door, making his way to the passenger's side of Dean's car and opening the door to climb back in.

"Isn't she the chick that hates you?" Dean replied, closing his car door and turning the engine on, putting the car on _Drive_ and leaving Gabriel's house.

"Now, who in the hell is lying to you? Kali doesn't hate me, she pretends to do so because she's scared to show any other emotion," Gabriel replied, smirking towards Dean's direction. Dean bit his lip, trying to hide the smile he had and raised an eyebrow, looking at Gabriel momentarily before turning his attention back on the road.

After that, the drive to Ellen's was silent - soft rock playing on the radio while both of them tried to keep the playful mood as long as possible.

They arrived at The Roadhouse thirty minutes after leaving Gabriel's place due to the light traffic. They got out of the car, Dean locking the car before making their way in being greeted by a larger crowd than Dean had seen hours ago. He saw Jo behind the bar pouring drinks, Charlie in front of her with a computer playing some Moondoor cosplay video, while Ash sat next to her another computer in front of him and a beer on his right hand. He saw Gabriel making his way towards them, his signature smirk covering his face. Dean rolled his eyes before following behind him.

"Well, if it ain't my favorite group of nerds," he heard Gabe say, getting a stool and putting it between Charlie and Ash, winking at Jo who tried to ignore the flirtatious smile thrown her way.

"Gabe, when did you get back?" Charlie asked, turning from the bar to see Dean behind them. "Hey, boss! Missed you at work today. Michael can be an asshole when you're not there to keep him in check," Charlie directed at him, a wide smile on her face. He smiled, too before turning serious.

"Now, Charlie that is no the way to refer to your boss. Need I remind you he can fire your ass?" He said, trying to keep any amusement from showing.

"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't let that happened. My ass is too precious to let go. Even if that brother of yours doesn't want to admit it," she responded, smiling at Dean and directing the last part at Gabriel. Gabriel turned to her, smiling before responding.

"Oh, I agree. Nothing better than that ass." Charlie let out a laugh while Jo groaned and Ash smiled looking at Dean.

"Dean, my man is good to see you," Ash said, getting up to hug Dean and clapping his back.

"Hey, Ash. Still rocking the haircut, I see." Dean gesture towards his head looking at Jo and smiling. "Hey, Jo. How are you?"

"I would be better if I could just get away from these three." Jo threw an exasperated look towards Charlie, Gabriel, and Ash before returning her gaze to Dean. "My mom's upstairs with your pup. Ash can go get them for you."

"Be back in a sec!" Ash exclaimed, jumping from his seat and running behind the bar towards the door and up the stairs.

"Thanks, Jo." He nodded gratefully before taking the stool Ash had vacated.

"Want a drink?"

"Well, yes, of course, princess. Give me one those purple nurples Dean used to be so obsessed with!" Gabriel gestured towards the shelves behind Jo where the drinks were placed. Jo let out an annoyed sighed before turning around and making Gabriel's drink.

"I heard what happened today with, Benny. I'm sorry, Dean," he heard Charlie say, her voice soft and eyes worried. Dean shrugged not really trying to bring that up now.

"With Benny? What happened?" Gabriel turned to look at Dean, frowning when Dean shook his head exhaling.

"It was nothing, Benny was just being a dick.”

Charlie snorted, rolling her eyes while she closed her laptop to put all her attention on the conversation.

“Being an asshole enough to earned him a punch,” she said as Jo placed Gabriel’s drink in front him and resting her hands on the bar while Charlie continued her telling. “Everyone who saw it said something different, but they all agree that Benny ended with a broken nose.”

“Is the least he deserves,” Dean replied, trying to ignore the irritation he felt at the memory of it.

“Yeah, well, can’t say that I feel sorry for him. He was looking for it. I’m sorry about it, by the way, Dean.” Jo looked at him sadly, grabbing a rag and cleaning some spilled drops of alcohol from the bar’s surface.

Dean shrugged and smiled at her. “It's not your fault, Jo. And plus I handled it pretty well.” he winked at her, making her smiled before she was called by one of the customers at the end of the bar.

“Well, I’m sorry _I_ missed it,” Gabriel stated, taking a sip of his drink and scrunching his nose. “Ugh, this is not sweet enough for my taste.” Dean chuckled, Charlie laughing with him as they made fun of Gabriel about his sweet tooth. Dean ignored it once he saw the door Ash had disappeared through finally opened to reveal his daughter running towards them.

“Uncle Gabe, you’re here!” She yelled, her excitement making Gabriel smile who stood from his stool to bend down opening his arms to catch her.

“Look at you, kid. You look a lot smaller than the last time I saw you,” he said, picking her up and walking back toward Dean. Zoe giggled before smiling at his dad.

“Hi, daddy. Guess what? I drank all my vitaminins milk like you asked!” Zoe extended her hands out in excitement making Dean chuckled. Gabriel brought her in again to squeeze her into another hug.

“Oh, squirt, I missed you so much and it's vitamins,” he mumbled against Zoe’s hair only making his daughter laugh and hug Gabriel back.

“I missed you, too, uncle Gabe. Daddy said you were going to take us to Papa so I could meet him. Are we going now, uncle Gabe? Can we go now?” Zoe asked, pulling back and looking at Gabriel.

“Oh, come on, kid! Don’t you want to spend some time with your favorite uncle first?” Gabriel asked after he glanced at Dean worriedly. Dean felt his heart twist in his chest, his sadness tainting his scent making him feel bad for telling Zoe they were meeting Castiel as soon as Gabriel landed.

“Well, between you and Sam, I don’t have to worry much about being the favorite relative,” Charlie mumbled next to them as a distraction, clearly catching the looks, smiling at Zoe and squeezing her cheek. “Isn’t that right, princess?” Zoe frowned, worriedly looking at Dean before bringing her gaze back to Charlie.

“But daddy says it's not fair to have favorites,” she replied, her little hands clutching Gabriel’s shirt as if worried Gabriel would get offended. Charlie laughed while Gabriel smirked at Dean. Dean just smiled and shrugged.

“Hey, I’m trying to be a responsible parent.”

Jo made her way back to them, looking at everyone clearly having heard their conversation. “Oh, if that ain’t the truth. If I didn’t know any better I’d say the real Dean had been kidnapped and has been replaced by his nicer, more responsible clone,” she said, making Charlie snort.

“You ain’t the only one freaked out by it,” Charlie agreed, nodding her head and staring at Jo with a smile. Dean rolled his eyes mildly irritated with this conversation. He waved his hand dismissively towards them before rolling his eyes.

“I don’t think Ellen would appreciate your rude comments, Jo.” And as if she had heard her name, Ellen walked through the door Zoe had come in through, carrying the bag Dean had brought with him earlier that day.

“Well, Gabriel, I would say it's a pleasure to see you but your bad credit here would disagree with me,” was the first thing she said as soon as she saw Gabriel. Gabriel groaned looking at Zoe in his arms.

“I think with this family of yours is more than enough excuse for you to make me your favorite uncle.” Ellen scoffed while Charlie and Jo laughed. Dean shook his head, his daughter scowled shaking her head in thought. Ellen passed Zoe’s bag to Dean making him smile in thanks.

“What happened to Ash?” Dean asked, looking towards the door expecting Ash to come back through it to join them. Ellen shrugged unimpressed with Ash’s absence.

“Last time I saw him he was in the kitchen trying Pam’s new salsa recipe. Now, you both the get out of here. This ain’t the place to have a child in at this hour,” Ellen told them. Dean laughed and stood from the stool he was sitting on as Gabriel groaned and shook his head, passing Zoe to Dean.

“Man, being a responsible parent sucks!" Gabriel exclaimed.

“Uncle Gabeeeeee!”

“Sorry, kid, but I ain’t taking that back.”

Zoe scoffed, turning towards Dean and shaking her head. “Uncles,” she sighed in disappointment, making all of them laughed at her tone of voice.

“Oh my god. You are definitely my brother’s child,” Gabriel said, smiling at Zoe. And that for some silly and weird reason made Dean feel so good about himself and his baby girl.

 

  
**xXx**

 

 

_“Hello, Castiel. How is that knot of yours for me today?” Castiel shook his head, trying to move off the bed but being unable to do so. His body heavy and pained. “Oh, come on, alpha. Is that any way to treat your omega?” April stalked towards him, another scent following behind her but Castiel was too delirious to try and tell it apart from April._

_It was probably the scent of his pup, he thought. April might have just come from seeing them._ _And as that assumption made his way into his head, Castiel halted his movements, turning his head toward April, telling her scent apart as easily as breathing even though that was becoming a little difficult for him at this point._

_“Oh, there we go. So pliant, nice and ready,” April said from somewhere in the room, but he couldn’t tell from where - the drugs in his system making everything unclear and hard to tell apart. He suddenly felt someone’s weight on him, April, straddling him, her hand holding his length, moving it up and down in slow movements. He let out a groan, his dick painfully erect as he tried to stop April from touching him anymore._

_“Now, come on, don’t be difficult,” he heard April’s voice far away like she wasn’t on top of him. Everything was spinning, his vision blurry, unable to focus his eyes enough to see what she was doing._

_“It hurts,” he heard himself croak, his voice hoarse and dehydrated. Water, he needed some water._

_“Aw, my poor alpha. It's okay, baby, I’m here to take care of you,” April whispered and that was the last thing he heard for a while. April’s hand resumed to pumping his length, her hand squeezing enough to make him moan. Castiel shook his head, reaching for her, maybe trying to get her to sink on his dick or push her away - he didn’t know anymore. He grabbed her hips, hips that felt a little wider than he remembered, her skin soft but not as soft as he was used to. He frowned, but ignore it, the drugs making him feel disoriented. Next thing he knew he had April sinking down on him, so soft and warm and wet, taking him so deep and making him groaned. He heard April moaned too, her voice sounding deeper than usual, but he blamed it on her arousal._

_“Fuck, yes,” April whispered, moving her hips from side to side, each thrust becoming more forceful and erratic. She bounced on top of him, clenching around him so tightly making him groan. April increased the pace making Castiel let out a growl, he felt his knot growing, feeling too sensitive and too weak to lock them together yet. He could make out the bed banging against the wall on the distant side of his mind, his mind way too distracted from everything. But after some time the knocking didn’t stop, it just became louder each second that it pass, Castiel gritting his teeth in irritation. He shook his head trying to stop it, to stop thinking and wait until April was finished with him._

_“There we go, Castiel, just a little more, baby,” he heard, but the voice was no longer April. This time it was deeper, sending shivers up his spine as he held onto the hips grinding down on him. The voice farther away as the knocking became louder. “Come on, Cas, where is that knot of yours, alpha? Didn't you miss me?” The knocking continued - this time too loud for him to ignore it but he didn't want to let go._

_“Castiel?” the voice changed again, not as deep as the other one, sounding muffled by something. Castiel groaned, his knot pulsing painfully between his leg, the knocking a lot louder now._

“Castiel?” Castiel woke suddenly, feeling disoriented, his surroundings moving and making him dizzy. He closed his eyes again trying to make everything stop spinning but was unsuccessful in doing so. Castiel could still feel the sore muscles in his body, his knot sensitive and still painfully erect.

He sighed, picking his head from his pillow to check the nightstand where an alarm clock was placed, squinting his eyes trying to clear his vision and see the time. But before he could do so someone knocked on his door again. Castiel frowned, turning his body slightly to look over his shoulder at the door.

“Castiel? It's Jimmy, can I come in?” Castiel frowned, looking down at himself and trying to scent the room. He could barely make out his arousal with his sensitive nose but knew that Jimmy would be able to smell it a lot better than he could.

He stood up slowly, trying to keep from making himself feel worse than he was already feeling.

“No, I-I’ll meet you downstairs, Jimmy,” Castiel replied, knowing that was not the most sensible thing to say to his brother when Castiel hadn't seen him in five years. But after Lucifer and Michael’s visit, Castiel didn’t think any of his brothers would mind much waiting a few more minutes to see him again.

He heard Jimmy’s sigh before his retreating steps echoed in the hallway, leaving Castiel alone in his room. He got up completely, making his way to the restroom to try and make himself presentable. He stood in front of the mirror and Castiel couldn’t help but be surprised at his reflection - he looked a lot older, dark circles under his eyes, his beard had grown a lot more than he usually let it, his eyes looked blue but dull as if the life had been sucked out of them. Those same eyes trail up, catching sight of his hair - it looked messier than usual and despite Castiel knowing that he couldn’t go out looking like this, he was exhausted enough to consider just going out like that. Castiel shook the thoughts away, however, grabbing a towel from the little closet next to the sink, undressed and got in the shower, the only thing he had the energy to do.

He put the water as cold as it could go, the water hitting his body and making his muscles strain, yet he ignored it. This was nothing compared to what his body had already endured in the last five years. He waited long enough under the cold water until his knot stopped throbbing and his erection faded, the arousal hopefully no longer tainting his scent.

Castiel got out the shower as soon as that was done, opening the shower door and grabbing the towel he had pulled out before wrapping it around his waist. He made his way out of the bathroom, this time completely ignoring his reflection. Instead, he quickly moved to his dresser, opening one the drawers and getting one the new boxers that had been placed there since his old clothes had been thrown out sometime during the last five years, and disregarded the towel to put them on. He walked into the closet next, grabbing the first pair of jeans he found and a dark blue button-down shirt.

The alpha tried again to avoid looking in a mirror, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to make it less messy and walked out of the room. Castiel reached the stairs, taking his time going down, desperately trying to minimize the effort of doing anything. He could hear voices coming from the dining room, Jimmy and Emmanuel he could recognize along with Amelia’s, and he could only assume the person now talking to them was their mother.

“Castiel, there you are,” his mother said as soon as she caught sight of him, her gaze judgemental once she took notice of Castiel’s choice of wardrobe. But Castiel shrugged it off thinking that if his mother truly didn’t want him wearing this kind of clothes, then said clothes shouldn’t have made it into his closet.

“Castiel,” Emmanuel said, taking a few steps forward, his voice sounding surprised, in disbelief as he couldn’t process the thought that Castiel was actually there.

“Hello, brother,” Castiel nodded in acknowledgment, smiling a little feeling his heart beating faster with the happiness he felt at seeing his brothers again.

“It's so good to see you again, Castiel,” he heard Jimmy say before he made his way towards Castiel, bringing him into a hug. Castiel felt surprised, his heart aching because Jimmy was the first of his brothers to care enough to show some physical affection. And even if he tried, Castiel couldn’t stop the tears that escaped his eyes as he hugged his brother back tightly, letting out a sob and nodding his head in agreement - Castiel didn’t know what else to do.

“It's so good to see you, too Jimmy,” he responded, his voice muffled by Jimmy’s shoulder. Jimmy shook his head, holding him tighter as if trying to keep Castiel safe in the security of his arms. He heard Jimmy sniffed, letting him go and wiping his eyes with his left hand while he kept the other on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel thought his brother believed that if he stopped touching Castiel would disappear - the mere thought made Castiel feel touched and guilty. He couldn’t help but feel sad for Jimmy, the brother who had taken him under his wing and cared for him since they were kids when other kids would pick on Castiel. Castiel could feel chest tight with the overwhelming feeling of finally seeing his brothers again.

“I brought Claire and Amelia with me,” Jimmy whispered, gesturing behind him where Amelia stood with a sad smile on her face, her eyes soft - surprisingly warm and welcoming. Her hair still as gold as the last time he had seen her a little over five years ago when he went to say his goodbyes before he left. Next to her stood who he could only assume was Claire, her blue eyes just like Jimmy’s but her hair blonde like her mothers fell loosely on her shoulders in loose waves. She had dark makeup on her face, exalting her features a little more.

“Hello, Castiel,” Amelia said, walking towards him and hugging him, too. Her scent also welcoming and Castiel was grateful it wasn’t as strong as Michael’s, Lucifer’s and his mother’s had been.

“Hello, Amelia. It's good to see you again also.” He held her tight, scenting her and feeling a lot better now. Amelia took a few steps back to look at her daughter, holding out her hand toward Claire who just stood there, tears in her eyes. “Come here, Claire, and say hi,” Amelia whispered. Claire started walking slowly, her eyes never leaving Castiel’s. Castiel saw Emmanuel from the corner of his eye moving toward a woman who stood behind him, hugging her and trying to avoid looking at Castiel. Castiel ignored it and focused on Claire because this was the first time he got to see in five years when she had only been ten years old. Now Claire looked different - more mature and of _course_ she did, she was what, fifteen now?

“Hey, uncle Cas,” she said, before throwing herself into Castiel’s arms, her own arms wrapping around him tightly, her head resting on top of his chest. Castiel smiled, hugging her back too, and kissing the top of her head before scenting her.

“Hello, Claire,” he said, holding her tightly one last time before parting and holding her by the shoulders. “Look at you, all grown up and with a new face,” his tone was teasing, his smile so wide and his vision blurry from the unshed tears. Claire chuckled before shrugging.

“Mom and dad said I'm allowed to wear makeup now. Do you like it?” She asked and Castiel felt his heart melt.

“You look beautiful, Claire. Just like your mother,” he replied, looking up at Amelia and winking at her. Jimmy patted his shoulder, letting out a laugh.

“Okay, brother, just because I haven’t seen you in years doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass if you tried to steal my wife. Now stop the flirting and come seat,” he said, pushing Castiel by his shoulders and guiding him towards one of the chairs.

“Castiel, this is Daphne, my wife,” Emmanuel interrupted, making Castiel halt his movements to look toward Emmanuel’s directions.

“Hello, Castiel it's a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you,” Daphne said, extending her hand for Castiel to shake.

“The pleasure’s all mine, Daphne,” and that was the last of his reunion with his brothers before they proceeded to eat dinner. Castiel took a seat on the right side of the table Claire taking the seat to his right and smiling up at him, while Jimmy took the seat on his left after holding the chair out for Amelia. Emmanuel took the seat in front of him, after also holding the chair out for Daphne who sat to his right in front of Jimmy and his mother taking the seat on the other side of Emmanuel in front of Claire.

Dinner went smoothly, Jimmy talking about what he had been up to for the last five years with Amelia and Claire interrupting once in awhile to add some detail Jimmy had failed to mention as he spoke. Castiel felt grateful for that because this is what he had wanted and had expected to receive as soon as he made it to his mother’s house.

Emmanuel and Daphne spoke a little, talked about how they met a little after Castiel had left. How they decided to mate a few months later and had been happily together ever since. Castiel wanted to know more but didn’t press for details and instead focused on Claire and her teenage life about meeting boys and girls alike - about presenting as an omega and how hard it was when her heats hit all with a little blush on her face. Amelia had been surprised when her daughter had mentioned her heats, while Jimmy choked on a piece of steak. Emmanuel clearing his throat and Daphne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, while his mother murmured something about "kids having no tact these days." Claire seemed a little annoyed with the responses.

“What? It's natural and uncle Castiel is a doctor, he’s used to hearing about this,” was Claire’s excuse making Castiel laughed before nodding his head.

“You’re right, Claire. I don’t understand how most people can be so offended by something so natural,” he replied, making Claire beam at him, her eyes gaining a spark of mirth in them.

After that the conversation died down a little, them focusing on finishing dinner rather than making small talk. Castiel wondered about Gabriel and Balthazar, wondering when he’d be able to see them.

“Have you talked to, Gabriel?” Castiel asked, the question directed at Jimmy. Jimmy cleared his throat before wiping his mouth with his napkin and looking up at their mother as if unsure.

“Actually, I have. I recently talked to tell him about how you were doing-”

“How dare you!” His mother suddenly stood almost making the chair fall backward before throwing the napkin that had been resting on her lap on top of her plate.

“Mother, Gabriel has as much of a right as any of us to know-” Jimmy tried to explain before he was interrupted by their mother again.

“Gabriel lost the right to know anything about this family the minute he decided to help that omega prostitute and his bastard daughter,” Naomi replied, her tone of voice so menacing it made everyone in the room nervous, her eyes looking at Jimmy with uncontained anger.

“Mother,” Jimmy said, glancing towards Castiel worriedly. Castiel frowned, not understanding the sudden change in mood.

“What is going on? I don’t understand,” Castiel said, setting his fork down next to his plate, meeting his brother’s gaze. He could hear Claire and everyone else in the room stop moving, looking down trying to keep their attention on the conversation at hand but trying to keep from drawing Naomi's attention on them.

“What happens is, Castiel, that your brother made the decision to side with your ex-husband." His mother sounded indignant like Gabriel had betrayed them beyond what words could explain. "He sold his percentage of your Father’s company to that omega _whore_ to secure the child that Omega had.” His mother’s tone was rageful, her posture rigid and tense but there was only one thing that truly stuck to Castiel.

“Dean had a pup?” Castiel asked, looking back at Jimmy who tried to avoid his gaze. Jimmy cleared his throat looking up at their mother, his gaze also full of anger at their mother’s lack of sympathy towards Castiel’s feelings.

“Yes, Castiel, your ex-husband had a pup. The pup is that alpha’s you found him with," Emmanuel finished for his mother, looking down trying to ignore the tense air. Claire moved in her seat, resting her hand on Castiel’s.

“I’m sorry, uncle Cas,” she whispered, the look on her face letting him know how much his scent had probably changed.

“Thank you, brother for the sympathy put on the news,” he heard Jimmy say but he couldn’t think about caring about that.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Jimmy I didn't mean to make him feel upset-” everything faded away and Castiel could only feel the way his chest hurt. Even though he had known that Dean had probably run off with Benny, having actually been told that they had and even conceived a child made everything real, not just a thought. It made Castiel’s head sway the more the news sunk in.

Dean, the man Castiel had given everything to, had run off with another alpha and had a pup with them because Castiel hadn't been enough. It was a recurring theme in his life. Castiel was never enough - not for Dean, not for his family, not for April-

Castiel stood from his seat, the argument halting as he did so as he walked away out of the dining room and up the stairs into his room. He didn't notice anything as he paced around the room, his breaths came in shallow and rapid. The moonlight came in through the window but Castiel made his way there closing the curtains wanting nothing but darkness in the room. He walked back to the door, locking it just in case someone wanted to barge in and try to talk to him.

The alpha couldn’t think - couldn’t process this new information. The way his heart was beating way too fast in his chest as he thought back to Dean and their marriage and how happy they seemed to be made him feel like a naive idiot.

_“Come on, alpha, I know that’s not all you got.” Castiel could hear Dean’s laughter, the way his head fell back exposing his throat as he stood there with a baseball glove on his left hand, while he held the ball with his right hand._

Castiel couldn’t stop the memories of Dean making his way to his mind. The way Dean would look in the morning - green eyes peering up at him sleepily as he tried to pull Castiel back into their bed. The way Dean looked while preparing breakfast, dancing around and singing off tune so loudly, making Castiel laugh. The way he would come back from Bobby’s garage covered in sweat and car oil with a tired smile greeting Castiel as soon as he made it through the door a few minutes later than him. The way he would ask Castiel to join him in the shower to “help the planet and save water." The way he gave himself to Castiel during the night - so completely, pliant and sweetly. The way they both made love until they were both tired and sated, Castiel’s knot tying them together - Dean resting his head on Castiel’s chest, his arm next to his face while Castiel ran his hand lazily down Dean’s spine. Dean just sighing, his eyes closed and falling deeper into sleep.

He fell on his bed, laying on top of the covers, desperately trying to ignore every memory. Castiel didn’t stop the tears making their way down his temples, his arms crossed on top of his eyes to try and block everything. He could hear Jimmy and Amelia knocking on his door, trying to make him open it but Castiel just ignored it and kept crying. His heart aching because reality had finally settled in that Dean was not coming back to him no matter how much he wished for it.

Dean was not his, he never truly was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you. Bye see you next Sunday.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, hi! Um... I edited this today because I didn't have time earlier in the week. I'm sorry if it's a little ugly.
> 
> I'm so nervous for some reason, idk why. Um... I'm just gonna go hide and not log in until next Sunday lol.

* * *

 

Castiel spent the next two days in that room constantly feeling sorry for himself and the life he had been forced to live. He mourned the life he didn't have, the husband he'd lost, the pup that could've been his and Dean's, the pup that he'd lost in Afghanistan, and he mourned the alpha he had once been. He felt pity for himself - he no longer was the alpha that took care of people and helped others in situations they thought had no solutions. Castiel was no longer someone with value. He had nothing going for himself or the people he loved. He hadn't been good enough for Dean, he hadn't been good enough for his family and he hadn't been good enough for April and their pup.

During those two days, Castiel had been aware of his mother trying to get him to come out by asking the maids to not bring him meals to force him out but Castiel no longer cared; he no longer felt the need to feel like he had to be okay for people to feel comfortable in his presence. So Castiel ignored it - didn't much think about food, anyway. He just thought of how easy everything had been when he had been under April's care. How he didn't have to care for anything, but pleasing her.

He kept thoughts of April and their pup in his mind, thinking about the way things would have been different if only April had approached him differently, but at that point in his situation, Castiel didn't even care. All thoughts had been morphed together during those two days that he didn't even know what he was crying about or wasn't crying about. His life at this point had no significance, no definition of what he should truly care.

He had heard his mother arguing with someone sometime during that time, her yelling rageful and hurtful, but Castiel ignored that, too. Not really in the mood to deal with anything other than his sorry existence because that's what his life was, a waste - he was expendable like April's people had said to him so many times.

By the third day, everything started becoming lucid, clearer and he thought more about Dean and how he had been so selfish. How he had been such a good liar and actor to spend four years of his life pretending to be happy with Castiel when he had probably been disgusted with the idea of even being near him. And that train of thought only made him angry. Angry to the point that he started throwing everything around the room carelessly, ragefully and with all his strength, bashing everything he set his eyes on. The mirror, the drawers holding his clothes, the closet, the bed, the television - everything smashed to the floor and all Castiel could do was yelled with so much anger because, dammit, he mattered. He had a right to be angry, to hate, to be hurt. But he was angry more at the fact that he couldn't bring himself to hate Dean because Castiel loved him still which only made him angrier.

During his rageful outbreak, he heard his mother outside yelling at someone about what was happening but Castiel ignored it again because, fuck it, he deserved to be angry.

On the fourth day, Castiel had made a decision - he was no longer going to care about much about anything and go back to the alpha he once had been because he owed himself that much. Screw the whole feeling-sorry-for-himself bull. He was going to make himself up again, pick himself from the deep well he had fallen and be the alpha he had once been. Alphas don't cry. Alphas don't sit around and rot away; alphas don't sit around and pity themselves. Castiel had to make the decision to stop being an absolute disgrace. And so, with those thoughts in mind, Castiel stood from the bed, went into his bathroom and made that decision come true. He showered, but forwent shaving, got dressed - one of the Armani suits his mother had left in his closet - grabbed the long beige coat Jimmy had given him before he had left their mother’s home that night and left his room.

He asked one of the housekeepers about the cars that were parked in the garage, grabbed one of the keys from the key holder said maid had pointed at and went to the car. It had been one of his Father’s very expensive and well-loved cars, but Castiel didn’t know about cars so he didn’t care to check what model or how flashy it was. Castiel rather unlocked the car, climbed in and drove off without second-guessing himself. First stop had been to a barbershop, where he waited for two hours to get a haircut before paying and leaving. His next stop had been the hospital he had been employed with when he had left for Afghanistan and asked to speak with the director of the hospital. He had been of course denied at first because he didn’t have a scheduled appointment, but after telling them who he was they had moved hell and earth to get him that meeting.

So when it came time to talk, Castiel had left out asking nicely to get his job back and rather demanded it back. He put his foot down and demanded to have his medical license back and to get his job back. The meeting ran longer than he had expected, the directors of the hospital asking questions about his mental and physical wellbeing, but Castiel had simply ignored the worried expressions and argued that he was feeling well and ready to be back at work. They had been restless about taking some more time off, that they would even pay his leave - they needed signed documentation that he was truly well enough to return to work. But Castiel had denied that option and once again told them that if they no longer held a place for him in that hospital he would gladly move on to another one. They had hesitated but refused to lose him so agreed and Castiel was due back to work in a week.

After that, Castiel had left the hospital satisfied, climbing into the car and turning it on. He didn’t drive off immediately. Instead, he sat there, looking ahead and wondering what was the next step.

And because Castiel deserved to move on and because he really had missed her, he put the car on the drive and made his way to Megan’s place. Megan, who had given him a place to stay when Dean and his divorce had been in the process and he had nowhere to stay. Meg, who had always been there for him when he needed someone the most after the divorce and also when he had been conflicted with the whole decision making about leaving with Doctors Without Borders organization. Meg, who had cared for him when he most needed it in his life and stood with him when he was on his way to the gate at the airport. Meg, who had silently cried his departing when he had crossed the gate and he had turned around to look at her. Meg, who had cared and loved him for as long as Castiel could remember and he had taken her for granted.

So when he arrived at her house and knocked, he did it with anticipation, his heart pounding wildly as he nervously tucked his hands into the pocket of his coat. And when she had opened the door, Castiel couldn’t believe that he had actually let this go this far, but he no longer cared, he couldn’t back out.

“Clarence,” Meg said breathlessly in surprise, standing there in nothing but a long-sleeved and shorts. And he didn’t know what impulse led him to do it, but as soon as he saw her, he leaned in and kissed her because at that moment it was the only thing he could think of doing. And Castiel didn’t regret it. 

Meg’s lips were soft and welcoming, her hands curling around his neck while she tried to stand on her toes to try and make the kiss deeper. “What a hell of a way to say ‘I’m back,” she whispered, her eyes still closed, her breath mingling with his and all Castiel could do was smile.

“It's so good to see you again, Meg,” he responded, and because the first time had felt so nice and sweet, Castiel took her lips in another kiss, resting his right hand on her hip while the other went up to grab her hair, wishing he could become drunk on the scent of her. Yes, Castiel deserved to move on and Meg was a good way to start.

 

 

  **xXx**

  

 

April couldn’t take it any longer. She was not supposed to be in this situation, for fuck’s sake, she wasn’t. All she wanted to do was keep Castiel to herself, make him love her and for some time, everything had been fine after the first year, really. Everything had been how she wanted, Castiel in her house, pleasing her and asking about their pup. Which, okay, had been really bad to say existed, but Castiel had been so protective of their said pup and she loved it. Castiel had proved how great of an alpha he was and how well he would have taken care of them - well, her - if he hadn’t been drugged most of the time.

She could see how amazing he would’ve been with their pup if only she had kept it. But it didn’t matter because April knew how much Castiel cared now, she knew. Castiel loved her so much and despite the fact that she hated having to share him with the other omegas and betas in that house, she knew Castiel only let them touch him because he thought it was her.

She had noticed how sometimes Castiel could sometimes find differences between her and whatever omega or beta had been bouncing on his dick and it made April figure it out. At first, she hadn't cared about him - he was just one of the many alphas they had taken to the house, but after sampling every single one of them, she figured it out. Castiel and April were meant to be, they were. So after the abortion, April had let the illusion that Castiel had become a father and he had responded just like she had expected. He had been extremely careful and attentive with her during the times she had gone to see him at night during the nine months she was supposed to be pregnant, which became difficult later when she knew she had to feel like she was pregnant as time progressed. The way he took her, loved her, cared for her despite the drugs in his system making him uncoordinated.

April hated those months where she had to bring one of the pregnant whores in to be fucked by her alpha because Castiel was hers and she hated the idea of another bitch touching him. But she let it happened, let Castiel believed in the pup he thought she had and everything had been great afterward. She had skipped two months knowing Castiel couldn’t know how long it had been and she had finally been able to be with her alpha again, all laid out for her, pliant and strong and so handsome. Castiel was perfect and especially after she had supposedly given birth to their child. He fought less with her and he was more attentive and careful and April loved it.

 Everything had been great. The only thing she had to do before she went to see him was to carry one of the pups that were kept in the room for their alphas to be picked up and Castiel fell for it no matter how different the scents had been. She had convinced him the drugs were doing a number on his mind so he wouldn't ask too many questions.

Castiel had been great after that, so caring asking about their pup and April sometimes really considered of actually trying to get pregnant with Castiel’s pup after that. But she couldn’t. She had a business to run for powerful people or she'd die. She couldn’t give herself the time to care for a pup no matter how perfect the pup would’ve been. And she also couldn't let it show that she had become infatuated with one of the new alphas, but at the same time, she didn't want to ruin such a perfect alpha. She had made sure to keep Castiel clean from any sexually transmitted disease, even though she knew everyone there had to be clean and healthy enough to keep everything going smoothly, had provided a condom on him before letting some other bitches have him because she refused to see her alpha have that much intimacy with someone else. Castiel and she were the only ones allowed to have that.

And so time went by and everything had been fine, their nonexistent-pup turning three and Castiel being so responsive towards her and her needs, especially during her heats - everything had been perfect. But everything had been shattered by those fucking American soldiers who had taken everyone there. They had destroyed the business she had built from the ground up and they had taken Castiel. Her poor alpha who had been so confused and worried about their pup while they had kept her from following them and arresting her.

Now she was here, rotting away in a fucking cell, worried about her poor alpha who must be worried sick about her and their pup.

April knew Castiel had asked his lawyer to look for the pup, her lawyer had informed her that much, but April knew how useless the search was going to be. She had thought that Castiel would have forgotten about the pup but she should've known better. Her alpha’s heart was too big to forget about their pup. He loved her and the pup they didn’t have way too much.

“April Kelly, you have visitors,” she heard the correctional officer say, bringing her back from her wandering mind. She stood up slowly looking at the C.O. before turning around so she could be handcuffed. She heard the cell gate buzz open, the woman officer behind her grabbing both her hands before binding her with the handcuffs. They walked out of the cell, where she had been placed by herself like an animal, and walked down the long hall, other women yelling obscenities at them and not for the first time April felt the anger rise in her because she didn’t deserve this.

They reached the metal door, the officer grabbing her I.D. and sliding it down the scanner next to the door. The door opened, leading them to another hallway, where they kept walking. April didn’t ask who the visitors were, she knew who they were, they had been coming in constantly for the past weeks to ask about the case and Castiel’s pup.

They made a turn, reaching another door, the officer twisting the doorknob and opening it, pushing April in and sitting her down on one of the chairs in there, a table separating her from the two alphas in front of her. April had known they were Castiel’s brothers, they shared a resemblance, but neither of them was close to the great alpha Castiel is, she could tell.

She ignored them, trying to look indifferent because she had stated her conditions to them already and there was nothing that could change her mind.

“Ms. Kelly, we wanted to speak-”

April sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Listen, Satan, I told you already what I want if you want me to talk. I’ve said it before and I’m not changing my mind,” April said, her irritation clear in her scent. She could see the way Lucifer had tensed, the way his nose had flared and the slight change in his scent. She ignored it, not really caring about anything else than getting what she had demanded. April saw Michael leaned forward, resting his hands on the table in front of him and entwining them.

“Ms. Kelly, your conditions can’t be met. Castiel is not well-”

“Then I’m not talking,” April interrupted again, resting against the back of the chair, trying to keep from smelling Michael and Lucifer's scents. She didn’t like how they smelled, a cheap imitation of Castiel’s which only made her angry and more determined about her demands being met.

“Look, here, you little whore," April raised an eyebrow, not surprised, "My brother simply can't come see you, okay? How do you think this whole thing could explode if he did?” Lucifer hissed, leaning closer towards her, his gaze containing anger. April didn’t budge, though, and met his gaze right on. She leaned in close again, her face inches from Lucifer's before she spoke again, this time smiling.

“You either bring Castiel to me or neither of you is getting anything out of me and I just go to jail without much thought.” She pulled back, her gaze never leaving Lucifer’s while she held a smile on her face, fake mirth sparkling in her eyes. She smelled the anger and frustration coming from the both of them and she couldn’t help the shiver of satisfaction that ran down her spine. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, this whore is done talking to both of you. Guard!” She said, standing up while the same guard that had brought her in opened the door and took a hold of her. “Till next time gentlemen,” she said over her shoulder before the door closed.

She was going to get to see Castiel no matter what and she was going to tell him everything. Her alpha would understand and wait for her, April was sure of it.

 

  

**xXx**

 

 

Dean felt his shoulders fall, bringing his head down to look at the floor, his scent carrying his sadness. He felt useless, helpless against everything and he didn’t know what to do.

He could see Gabriel pacing the floor of his living room, running his hands over his face in frustration, his scent clearly telling him how he felt.

“I don’t know what else to do, Dean. I went to Michael’s place, Lucifer’s - I went to that fucking company itself to demand to see Cas, but they’re fucking stubborn." He groaned, throwing his head back. "Jimmy isn’t answering my calls and Mother won’t even let me past the front door,” Gabriel rambled, and Dean knew the frustration, he knew. It had been a little less than a week since Gabriel arrived here and he had yet to see Castiel - both of them being denied seeing him or hearing about him. There was nothing on the news about where he was either, no reporters following him around and despite the fact that Dean was glad that Castiel wasn’t being bombarded with questions, he selfishly wanted to have at least that to know how Castiel was, but so far that had been a complete disappointment.

Dean let out a sighed, looking back over the couch in the direction where Zoe’s room was. He felt sorry for his daughter, who had been constantly asking about her father and when she would be able to meet him.

“Gabriel, I can’t keep lying to Zoe. I can’t keep her from Cas anymore - she deserves to know her father,” Dean replied, turning back to look at Gabriel, who now stood still, his head bowed down and hands resting on his hips while he took deep breaths trying to calm down.

“I know, Deano, I know,” he replied, looking up and throwing a small, sad smile towards Dean. “I’m trying really hard here, and I can’t believe I haven’t been able to find any way to see him. Maybe I’m getting kind of old for this,” Gabriel sighed, shaking his head before stalking towards the couch and sitting down, resting his elbows on his knees while holding his head with his hands. “Castiel wouldn’t believe how low I’ve fallen,” Gabriel whispered, his voice sounding tired and dejected.

Dean didn’t say anything, didn’t move from where he was. Instead, he turned to look back towards Zoe’s door again, his pup probably asleep already, and tried to reign the sadness in. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew that Zoe had to meet her father. She couldn’t miss more time without having a second parent, and Castiel shouldn’t have to miss out on Zoe any more than he already had.

“Go check on her, I can tell how much you’re dying to do so,” he heard Gabriel say, his voice muffled by his hands. Dean let out a small laugh before standing up.

“Naomi can be a little headstrong, Gabe. Don’t let it get to you, however, I’m not letting more time pass by, anymore. I’m going to go to her house tomorrow and I’m taking my daughter with me.” Dean didn’t care anymore, he didn’t care to be sensible about Naomi’s feelings. He needed to know how Castiel was doing and he had to let his daughter see her father no matter what. He had to at least try.

Gabriel looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowed before he nodded and shrugged.

“I tried that, Dean. If she didn’t let me in what makes you think she’s going to let you in?” Gabriel shook his head exhaling but looked back up at him. “But then again, it might have been that I didn’t try hard enough,” Gabriel smirked, but he looked tired and like he wasn’t completely believing himself.

Dean shrugged, shifting his weight on his feet and looking down.

“I don’t care who Naomi has in her house, Gabe. I owe my daughter and Cas too much to let Naomi Novak get in my way,” he looked at Gabriel, his gaze determined, the protectiveness in his scent very palpable.

“Okay,” Gabriel responded before resting his weight on the couch and closing his eyes, his hands behind his head. “I’m with you, Deano,” but Dean didn’t pay attention nor did it make a difference if Gabriel was with him or not. Yes, he was grateful Gabriel was trying to help, but Dean would’ve done anything to get Naomi to let him see Castiel, either by force or willingly. It had been too long for Dean and he couldn’t waste any more time debating with Gabriel another civilized way to get the Novaks to let them see Castiel.

Dean was tired of waiting, tired of being denied seeing Castiel, tired of his daughter being denied seeing her father. He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t let Naomi, Lucifer or Michael get in the way of his daughter meeting her father.

Dean looked at his daughter’s room door again, his mind swirling with all kinds of thoughts.

“Just go check on Zoe,” Gabriel said, making Dean come back to reality. He shook his head before stalking towards his daughter’s room, leaving Gabriel in the living room and quietly reaching the door and opening it.

Zoe had been tucked in a few hours ago. After their nightly routine of showering, brushing teeth, brushing hair before it dried because it was hard brushing curly hair when it wasn’t wet, braiding it, putting a diaper on just in case Zoe couldn’t make it to the potty in time and sliding her nightgown, she was ready for bed. Dean had wrapped her up in blankets, arranging pillows and stuffed animals before he sliding in next to her to sing ‘Hey Jude’ like his mom used to do with him when he was a kid.

Dean smiled once he saw his daughter still sleeping, the covers all the way up to her shoulders while she laid on her left side, facing Dean. He smiled because there was nothing better than seeing his daughter peacefully sleeping where nothing could harm her - where Dean could protect her from anything.

He had left the nightlight on after he had turned the lamp on the nightstand off because no matter how much Zoe had tried before, she still got scared when she would wake up during the night to go the bathroom. Dean hadn’t denied his baby girl the Mulan themed nightlight and had wished his father had been like that with him. Sometimes Dean thought the only reason he had been so well at parenting had been thanks to his mom and also trying to be everything John Winchester had neglected to be when he was a kid.

Dean walked in quietly, closing the door behind him and making his way to his daughter’s bed, pulling the covers down and laying down next to her, facing each other. Zoe stirred in her sleep, her freckled face and green eyes so much like Dean’s sleepily opening and looking at him.

“Daddy?”

“Shh, shh, baby it's okay. Go back to sleep.” Zoe nodded, before closing her eyes again and snuggling closer to Dean, tucking her face under his head and scenting him before exhaling and falling back asleep. Dean brought her in some closer, hugging her and kissing the top of her head, scenting her and getting the little of Castiel she held. Dean closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I miss him, baby,” he whispered quietly, trying not to wake her up again.

He didn’t say anything after that, just hugged Zoe a little tighter and closed his eyes, trying to stop the thoughts going through his mind and get some sleep.

Castiel and Zoe deserve to know each other and Dean was going to make sure they met.  He owed them both at least that.

 

 

**xXx**

 

 

"Michael, I don't want Gabriel showing up here again!" Naomi was furious, her anger making her scent more prominent. Michael had come to see Castiel and talk about the case but seeing as Castiel was not home, Naomi refused to let this opportunity go and demand Michael take care of Gabriel and his ill-mannered way of asking to see Castiel. As if Naomi owed him anything.

Michael sighed, bringing his right hand up to massage his temple.

"Mother, I really can't deal with Gabriel right now. Castiel already has me working overtime with this case like some sort of slave," Michael walked in further into the study, going for the scotch resting on top of the glass holder, grabbing a glass and pouring himself some alcohol.

"Then have Lucifer take care of it," Naomi responded, her voice harsh, leaving no room for argument. Michael let out another tired sigh, resting his left hand on his hip while holding the glass with the other and looking down.

"Mother, Gabriel is the least of our problems right now. I still don't understand why you have this stubborn need to keep him from seeing Castiel," he replied, draining the glass of his contents and resting the glass back on the glass holder. He heard Naomi's steps coming forward, making her way toward him, her scent letting him know how angry his mother felt at that moment. He tensed slowly turning around to look at her.

"Listen to me, Michael, I don't care about that fascination you have with that omega whore, you understand me? I don't care. However, you know the reason why I don't want to see Gabriel near my son and I won't have you questioning my decisions," Naomi hissed, her eyes full of rage while her scent turned stronger.

"This has nothing to do with Dean, Mother," Michael tried to defend himself, but Naomi wasn't having it. She had to always be right.

"Please, I'm your mother, Michael," she said, turning around walking behind the fine wooden desk and taking a seat on the chair, trying to rearrange the documents sitting in front of her. "I give that whore credit, however. Having my eldest and youngest sons running behind him like a pair of lost pups it's impressive."

"Mother, I would never-"

"I told you, Michael. I'm your mother, I've noticed. The way your eyes linger on him whenever he leaves the conference room, the way you let him talk to you? For the Lord's sake, it couldn't be more obvious even if you had it written all over your face in bold letters," Naomi looked up at him, her gaze so cold and rageful. If there was something Naomi hated more than the omega himself, it was losing her most obedient sons to that same cheap omega whore.

Michael didn't retaliate, didn't deny it and Naomi knew she had been right. Michael was enamored with that Winchester omega and there was no denying it. Naomi sighed, stopping her movements and resting her hands on the desk before looking at Michael again. "He sent Gabriel here to ask for Castiel, Michael. No matter what you try, that omega is still in love with your brother."

Michael, clenched his hands into fists, his nails digging into his palms, but didn't respond. This was his mother and he couldn't disrespect his alpha mother like that or in any way - he was a good son. He was a better son than all his brothers; he was better than Castiel. So rather than talking about the subject at hand, he changed the topic to Castiel's case.

"She wants Castiel to go see her," Michael said quietly, his gaze focused on the wall opposite him, while he waited for his mother's response.

"You know that can't happen, Michael," Naomi simply said, dismissing the topic. Michael sighed, looking down briefly before looking back at his mother.

"If Castiel doesn't go see her, she will refuse to keep this from reaching the media." Michael saw his mother tensed, halting her movements once again before looking up at him.

"For God's sake, Michael! Is there anything you can do without messing up?" Naomi's fury made the room a lot denser, heavier and Michael tried to hold his Mother's gaze longer, trying not to show his nervousness.

"I told her we couldn't bring Castiel. I explained that we couldn't get him there without making things too obvious, but she refused to listen," Michael explained, his voice wavering just a little before clearing his throat, still holding his Mother's gaze. Naomi brought her hands up, massaging her temples and closing her eyes and sighing. They stood in silence for a while longer, their scents making the study too tense.

Naomi stood up, dropping her hands on top of her desk before looking at Michael.

"Listen to me, Michael. You tell Castiel-" she was interrupted by the front door opening and closing before they heard Castiel calling out for her.

"Mother?" Naomi looked at the door before walking around the desk and pausing in front of Michael.

"You tell Castiel about meeting April, convinced him to go see her and when he agrees, make sure he gets there without being photographed by anyone, you hear me?" Naomi hissed, pointing her index at Michael. He didn't miss the certainty of her voice that Michael was going to somehow convince Castiel of seeing April again. Michael knew his Mother was serious and if he didn't do what she demanded, all the consequences will rain down on him.

He stiffly nodded, making her relax as she tried to fix her dress.

"Very well. Also, remember what I said about Gabriel, I don't want him here anymore." Michael nodded his head again, always the obedient son. Naomi walked towards the door without another word, opening it and leaving Michael in the study by himself, trying to gain any composure. He didn't know how his Mother figured it out that perhaps he wasn't fighting Gabriel so much because of Dean, but it still left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. Michael was furious with himself, with Gabriel and Dean for insisting so much on seeing Castiel, but he was even more furious with Castiel. In made his blood run cold with his rage.

Damn Castiel for coming back and getting in his way. Damn Castiel for coming back and putting him in this position. All Michael wished for right now was for Castiel to never have come back and ruined their lives just to accommodate him. Damn him for being alive and returning home.

Damn him.

Michael inhaled deeply, trying to rid his scent of the anger and annoyance he was feeling, trying to reign his emotions in and readied himself to speak to the very brother that had turned everything upside down. 

He felt himself growl in exasperation before shaking his head and clearing his mind of every thought of sending his brother away. Michael looked down, noticing his clothing to make sure he looked presentable before walking out of the study, scent finally cleared. His eyes falling on Castiel as soon as he made it to the living room, seeing Lucifer with him and their Mother, only feeling the rage rise in him again. Damn Castiel, truly.

Damn him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, see you next Sunday!


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies, gentlemen, gender-neutral and others! Here it is, finally, what you all been waiting for (hopefully): The Reunion Chapter!!
> 
> AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
> 
> I got so many feels while reading this and I'm so excited to share!!!
> 
> P.S. I think somewhere in the Dean and Zoe scene it may look like I'm implying Dean might get his heat soon but it's not that! It's just nerves and excitement he's experiencing! Just wanted to clear that up.
> 
> P.S.S. lol I just wanna say that fandorica and crazedceladon r literally the funniest and sweetest. They both agree that "Meg might be nice but she's not Dean." I literally busted out laughing reading that.
> 
> Ok, Imma leave y'all alone so you can actually get to reading.
> 
>  
> 
> **No TW for this chapter, I think. I'm pretty sure.**

* * *

 

The next morning, Dean woke up nervous, scared and anxious, all because of what he had decided to do. He couldn’t take it any longer; he had waited way too long to see Castiel and despite the fact that he didn’t have a right to demand to see him, he still had the right to demand Naomi to let Zoe see her alpha father.

So with that in mind, he had gotten up from his daughter’s bed where he had fallen asleep, woken Zoe up, too and carried her to the bathroom to do their morning routine. His daughter, still tired, rested her head on his shoulder, yawning and rubbing her sleepy eyes with her little fists. Dean had a hand on her back, whispering good morning in her ear and kissing her temple as he walked towards his room’s bathroom.

He didn’t see Gabriel but he could hear the snores coming from the guest’s bedroom when he passed in front of the door. Dean was glad that he had at least someone from the Novaks on his side because it made him believe that the whole explaining to Castiel that he had a daughter would go a lot more smoothly if someone from the family helped prove that Dean wasn’t lying. Dean wasn’t looking for Castiel to take him back or anything, he just wanted to see him, to maybe hold him and not be accused of being a slut or omega whore. He just wanted to bring his daughter and let her meet her father because she deserves it no matter how much Dean had fucked up.

Dean also didn’t expect Castiel to be completely okay with the news since they really hadn’t planned to have kids so soon when they had married. And the fact that Dean had always said that he wasn’t ready to be a father during their marriage and having an abortion during said marriage because of it could be a whiplash for Castiel. But Dean had wanted to keep Zoe and he didn’t know why but in this moment, even after the very first time he had held his daughter in his arms, he had wondered why he had denied himself and Castiel this; the love for a child and care for them and protect them.

Dean sighed, trying to focus back on Zoe, holding her a little tighter and kissing her temple again while he reached the bathroom and opened the door and walk in. He turned the lights on, making Zoe complain about the brightness of it which made him chuckle.

“Come on, baby. We have to get ready, today is a very important day for us,” he said, sitting her on the bathroom counter and unbraiding her hair.

“What’s today?” She asked, her little hand resting on his chest while she held onto the sink with her other. Dean smiled, pulling the dark curls from the confinement of the hair tie and letting them fall down her shoulders.

“Daddy had decided that is finally time to take you to Grandma’s house,” Dean replied, ruffling Zoe’s hair once it was freely around her head.

“But we only visit grandma at the end of each month, daddy,” she replied, her green eyes still sleepy looking at Dean with such an innocent light to them. Dean let out a sigh looking down before meeting her gaze again.

“We’re not going to see your grandma Mary, baby. We’re going to your alpha daddy’s mom’s house,” he replied, resting his hands on either side of Zoe’s body on the counter, peering up at her and smiling. Zoe grabbed his face, her soft, small hands holding him so tenderly.

“We gonna see papa finally?” Zoe’s eyes were wide, her mouth forming a little ‘o’ in surprise while she kept her hands on Dean’s face. Dean could feel the warmth of those little hands, making his heart swell with so much love and affection for his daughter. God, did he love this little girl.

“Yeah, baby, we are. Uncle Gabe is coming with us, is very important for you to be ready soon and beautiful to impress your papa, okay?” Dean made her stand on the sink, trying to take her nightgown off, her diaper following before grabbing her and putting her down to make her walk towards the shower. Zoe put her hands on her belly looking up at Dean while she took a couple of steps to the bathtub and getting in still keeping her green eyes on Dean while he followed her sitting on the side of the tub.

“Can I wear my Mulan dress? Can I, daddy? I want to show him my Mulan dolls, too. Do you think he’s gonna like them, daddy? Do you?”

“Wow, there, kid. Calm down, I’m sure you Pops’ gonna love everything you show him,” he replied, smiling and slightly pushing her down and turning the water on before checking the temperature. Zoe’s smile was too big for her face, her eyes no longer holding sleep while she bounced on her bottom and her hands still on her stomach.

“I want to tell him about my dolls. Do you think he has watched Mulan, daddy? Would he know how awesome she is? I want to be just like her, extep the boyfriend part, I don’t think I want that,” Zoe looked up worriedly now, making Dean frown once he looked at her after setting the water at a moderate temperature. “Would he mind that I don’t want to kiss boys, daddy? Papa, is gonna love me still?” Dean felt his heartbreak, his breath catching at how worried his baby looked.

“First of all, baby, your Papa won’t care about any of that. He would love you no matter what you decide to do. Secondly,” he paused, looking around to grab a little cup to use to fill with water and pour it on Zoe, “is way too early for you to be thinking about boys or girls or anyone for that matter in that sense,” he looked at her, trying to wipe the excess water from her face and smiling at her once she opens her eyes to look at him. “And lastly, the word is except, darling,” he finished, filling the little cup again and pouring the water on her again slowly, petting her hair and wiping the excess water off her face.

Zoe took a deep breath before looking at him, giggling.

“Okay, daddy. Thank you,” she replied, her smile a little too playful for the gratefulness to be sincere.

“Little girl, are you mocking me?” Dean tickled her, while he grabbed the shampoo with his other hand. Zoe’s giggled loudly, her little jerks making the water splash around.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She said, while Dean stopped and let her take a deep breath. “And still, Uncle Sam doesn’t mind Henry having girlfriends or boyfriends,” she replied, making Dean chuckle, shaking his head in amusement.

“I guess your daddy has to have a little talk with Uncle Sam,” He said, squirting a little of shampoo on top of Zoe’s head. Zoe closed her eyes tightly, her nose scrunching while her teeth were tightly against each other in a grimace.

They didn’t say much after that, Dean just washing Zoe’s hair off and proceeding to put some conditioner on her hair to try to make it easier to brush her hair later. Dean washed her off, before standing up and opening the bathroom closet to get a clean towel. He walked back, Zoe getting back on her feet and extending her little her hand up trying to let Dean wrap the towel around.

“Alright, up you go,” Dean said, bring her into his arms and walking back to his daughter’s room, the guest’s bedroom door now open and empty while the water in the hallway bathroom could be heard running. “I guess your uncle Gabe woke up,” he said, walking back in and letting his daughter down on top of the unmade bed.

“Remember, we’re getting my Mulan dress,” Zoe said behind him while he went into her closet to grab the dress she wanted to wear.

“Got it, sweetheart, anything else?” Zoe paused for a second, thinking about what else she wanted her outfit to consist of.

“Can I wear the clear sandals aunty Sarah gave me?” Dean looked around the little closet, looking for the sandals, but frowning when he didn’t see them.

“Are you sure you brought them back from grandma’s house?” Dean said over his shoulders still looking for the sandals.

“I thought you brought them,” was Zoe’s reply, making Dean sigh and shake his head, a little smile playing on his lips before turning serious and facing her.

“Now, Zoe, what have I said about being responsible for your own things?”

“But daddy, I thought you were getting them and plus I was asleep! How was I supposed to remember my sandals when I was sleeping,” Zoe’s little pout made Dean's heart swell with everything he felt for her, even in moments like this where she might be a little frustrating. He sighed again turning back to the closet and looking for another pair of sandals.

“Well, now that we know we don’t have them here, you’re gonna have to pick another pair of sandals.”

“Okay, how about-”

“Good morning, dear family. How are you today,” Gabriel said loudly cheerful, stalking towards Zoe who was still completely wrapped in her towel her face the only visible thing, while she scowled at Gabriel for interrupting her. “Hey, sunshine, good morning,” he kissed her on the cheek and hugged her way too tight for Zoe’s liking who started to complained about it.

“Uncle Gabe, don’t be rude! I’m trying to get dress and get pretty so we can go see Papa,” Zoe replied, trying to push Gabriel off her. Dean smiled, walking back into the room holding the dress and a pair of sandals that would hopefully suffice for his daughter.

“Darling, please, you’re beautiful all the time,” Gabriel responded, letting Zoe go and looking up at Dean. “So we are going to go see your Papa, then.”

“I told you this yesterday, Gabriel. I’m not changing my mind,” Dean replied, opening Zoe’s bloomer drawer and getting a pair out before making his way back to his daughter holding everything in one hand.

“Good, but are you sure is really safe for you to go? I can smell you're...” Gabriel trailed off before he stood up and looked at Dean and Zoe. Dean frowned not understanding Gabriel questions so he just shrugged and shook his head. Gabriel nodded before focusing back on Zoe. “Well, I’ll go try to make some breakfast and you, princess, can join me once you get dressed so you can let you daddy get ready.”

“Okay,” Zoe simply said, smiling widely and standing up, her towel still around her. Gabriel saluted her before marching out of the room making Zoe giggle. Dean took the last few steps to stand in front of her, taking the towel off and helping her get dressed. “He’s so silly,” Zoe laughed, shaking her head while she grabbed onto Dean’s shoulders to prevent from falling. Dean snorted looking down at her.

“That’s not the word I would use.”

After helping Zoe get dressed, he walked her in front of her mirror, making her stand in front of it while he grabbed the chair against the wall to sit and pull her back towards him to start brushing her hair. He decided to leave it down, just untangling it and letting the hair curl back up after drying off. They could smell the food already, Zoe’s stomach growling making her laugh and covering her mouth. Dean laughed too looking at her through the mirror and nodding in approval.

“Okay, go have breakfast. I’ll go get ready and after we’re done we’ll drive to your Papa’s.” All Zoe did was smile at him, bouncing on her feet and clapping her hands before she nodded letting out a little squeal.

“Okay,” she responded, turning to look at Dean, grabbing his face to kiss him on the forehead. “Thank you, daddy,” she smiled one last time before running off to the kitchen leaving Dean alone in her room. He started cleaning the room, making the bed, folding the nightgown and putting it at the end of the bed before picking the towel and walking back towards his bathroom and hanging it for it to dry.

Dean could still feel the fever he had felt in the morning, nausea but didn’t let him bother him; he wasn’t going to back out of this. So instead, he got undress, hopped in the shower that was next to the bathtub and closing the glass door. Now, just him, he couldn’t keep his mind off of what he was about to do; what he was determined to do. He felt the anxiousness low in his abdomen because even though he had known it would happen sometime now, Dean still hadn’t processed the whole concept of seeing Castiel again, of touching him and smelling him. Dean was overwhelmed with emotions that he felt like vomiting. So rather than caving into those actions, he proceeded to shower, letting the cold water wash away the fever and nervousness he felt and just focus on the decision he had made; doing whatever it took to finally give his daughter what she deserved.

**xXx**

“You want me to go see her?” Castiel felt the incredulity of the situation all over his scent and face, his body frozen in its state, looking between Michael and Lucifer. They were in their Mother’s study, Michael taking the armchair opposite of the bookshelf that was against the wall next to the entrance to the study while Lucifer stood next to him, a faraway look on his face like he’d rather be somewhere else than delivering the news to Castiel. And despite the fact that Lucifer more often than not looked like he didn’t care about much, Castiel knew that his loyalty for his family ran deep no matter how much he tried to make it seem like it didn’t. Lucifer was complicated in that regard, making him, at first impression, seemed like a selfish prick but Castiel and most of the Novaks knew Lucifer, despite his rebellion against their father, he would still stand for his family. They all knew, even if the decisions he often made with supposed good intentions led them to have disputes amongst their family.

Castiel tried to think of that because he really couldn’t acknowledge what Michael had just asked him to do. Castiel understood the importance of keeping this situation from overwhelming the whole family, but he truly didn’t think that the boundaries to keep this from reaching the news were of such extreme.

Michael sighed, entwining his hands and leaning in as if trying to explain something to a five-year-old.

“Castiel, April has explicitly stated that she will not be talking to us anytime soon about your pup if you don’t go see her,” Michael said, his voice irking Castiel beyond what he thought was possible.

“You really want me to go see her,” Castiel stood from the couch he was sitting on in front of Michael before walking to the side and running his hand through his hair, his voice disbelieving. “You are really that desperate about keeping this from-” Castiel felt his heart beating faster, his blood rushing through his veins while he started pacing in front of them. He heard one of them sighed, but Castiel couldn’t stop the nervousness that had taken over him.

“Castiel, brother, I know this can be very insensitive to ask from you, but you did ask us to find your pup at whatever cost,” Lucifer said, his voice surprisingly soft, a hand reaching for Castiel making him halt his pacing. Castiel shook his head, inhaling an air full before letting go. He could hear the pounding in his ears, his nausea making him sway. He closed his eyes, trying to ground himself before turning to look at Lucifer standing in front of him.

“Why is she doing this to me?” Castiel could feel the way his vision was blurring due to the unshed tear. He shook his head again, bringing his hands up to rub them against his face and breathing deeply trying to reign his emotions in. Lucifer shrugged, tugging his hands back into his pockets before looking back at Michael.

“Like Mother says, the Lord is the only one to question his own actions,” was Michael's response, making Castiel scoffed looking up, meeting his gaze. “Castiel, we wouldn’t be asking this of you if it wasn’t crucial for the search of your pup.”

Castiel didn’t say anything for a long while, just looked off at the wall, trying to find some solution to this situation, but finding none. Castiel wanted to laugh at himself - at his life, thinking how yesterday he had thought he could get his life back together, start something with Meg who had opened her home to him and had talked to him about pretty much everything from the last five years. He recalled how nice he had felt yesterday holding someone - holding Meg in his arms while she talked his ears off. How she hadn’t tried to force him into anything and had waited on him to make the first move, and yet now Castiel felt like he had taken every step he took yesterday back today. Castiel didn’t know how much time passed but after trying to thinking of any way to avoid the meeting with April and coming up with nothing, Castiel knew what he had to do.

“Okay,” Castiel whispered, his body falling loose like he had nothing else to fight for. Michael once again took the initiative and stood up, taking some documents resting on the desk before marching towards Castiel.

“Very well, if you could please-”

“Michael, I told you!” Naomi barged into the study, her alpha scent overpowering once she came in, looking at Michael with so much anger. “I told you about taking care of one minuscule problem and you can’t even handle that!” She stalked towards Michael, her anger making all three of them become alerted.

“Mother, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael’s voice was clipped, his posture rigid as if waiting for their Mother to strike and slap him.

“Of course, you don’t. If you listened to at least half of what I ask, Gabriel wouldn’t be in the living room fighting to see Castiel!”

“Gabriel’s here?” Castiel questioned, turning his gaze to look at the closed door his Mother had come through.

“Mother, we just discussed Gabriel today, you didn’t ask me to take care of him at such an immediate time. I was just trying to get Castiel-”

“I warned you, Michael. Getting in Gabriel’s good graces is not going to get you that omega-”

“Mother!” Michael interrupted, looking back at Castiel who was staring at him and their Mother.

“What is going on?” Castiel asked. Naomi’s rage was so thick in the study making the air way too heavy and difficult to breathe.

“Mother, maybe you should-” Lucifer tried to say, but their Mother was having none of it.

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do. Don’t you dare disrespect me in such a manner, Lucifer.” Naomi’s fists were so tightly clenched, hanging on either side of her that Castiel had no doubt her nails would leave marks on her palms.

Castiel walked towards Naomi, putting his right hand on her shoulder.

“I think it would be best if you could calm down, Mother,” Castiel said, trying to ease her anger a little. He could scent the study, all their scents making a horrible combination; anger, nervousness, defensiveness, and rage. It felt way too primal for a family who was supposed to care for each one of its members.

“Your brother ignored my orders, Castiel. He willingly ignored them,” Naomi turned to look at him, her anger still burning within her but simmering just a bit.

“I know that’s how things look, Mother, but I don’t-”

“Well, if it ain’t thing one and thing two,” said a voice from behind them, making them all turn to look in that direction. Gabriel walked into the room, his presence way too calm, smug even as he sauntered in, looking at Michael and Lucifer. He looked at Naomi for a second, his gaze turning angry as he looked at her. “Mother, I wished I could say it’s a pleasure to see you again, but lying is a sin,” Gabriel said, making Naomi’s rage and anger come back even stronger.

“How dare you come into my house without my consent-”

“Cas,” and everything after that didn’t register to Castiel, just the overwhelming scent he had become able to recognize no matter how long he stayed apart from him. Castiel had been so distracted at first that he hadn’t even noticed him come in behind Gabriel, but now that he was aware of Dean’s presence, he couldn’t look away.

He felt elated, angry, hurt and something else, maybe the love he still held for Dean, all combined and swirling around inside of him. Next thing Castiel knew, he had an armful of Dean, pressing his face under his head, his body so soft and inviting and _welcoming_. His scent surrounding Castiel, the pain and happiness he could pick up from it and something else; something that was Dean’s but not completely.

Castiel tried to react, tried to think of what to do but he couldn’t come up with anything, Dean’s scent making his mind hazy, only making him feel high on it. So he did the only thing he felt was natural to do and returned the hug, his mind only focusing on Dean alone. Castiel felt the tears running down Dean’s face against his shirt, dampening it while his heart was rapidly beating, his head pounding, an incessant buzz in his ear, yet all Castiel could do was wrap his arms around Dean more tightly.

Dean was saying something, whispering things he couldn’t truly pick up. Castiel tried to focus but all he could do was feel the perfect way they still fit together, the way Dean’s body unwillingly moved when he sobbed painfully while clutching tightly to the back of Castiel’s suit jacket. All he could do was bury his nose in Dean’s scent and smell him, bringing him closer and trying to really contain his pain.

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Dean whispered in his ear, but Castiel just shook his head, trying to convince his mind that this was, in fact, real and not a figment of his imagination. Dean kept sobbing, still not letting him go as Castiel still tried to keep the tears from falling but failing miserably. However, instead of forcing them away, Castiel let his body shake with the force of his sobbing.

“I didn’t think I would see you again,” he replied, trying to convey how much he meant those words by hiding his face in the crook of Dean’s neck.

“I know, baby, me too,” was Dean’s replied, while he tried sooth the pain and calm Castiel a little. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“Daddy?” Castiel heard the little voice behind them and all he could do was pick his head up, looking behind Dean to see the little person who had spoken.

There was a little girl, maybe between three-to-five years old, so small and just like Dean. Her green eyes peering up at them with fear, her eyelashes complementing those doll eyes, her lips just as full and pink as Dean’s, her little rosy freckled cheeks exalting her features and the only difference between her and Dean he could see was the hair. While Dean’s was dirty blonde and straight from what Castiel could tell, his daughter’s was long and dark, falling in tight curls around her face. She was holding a little doll in her arms, her little Chinese inspired dress sticking to her too small frame, falling all the way down to the floor, all flowery and so beautiful. Almost the perfect copy of Dean if it wasn’t for the hair, the only thing Castiel could only assume she got from her father.

Dean broke away, sniffing before wiping the tears away, looking up at Castiel and doing the same to him, his touch soft and tender as he tried to wipe every tear falling from Castiel’s eyes. Castiel’s gaze didn’t break away from the little girl, just kept looking at her, trying to register that this was, in fact, Dean’s daughter.

“You disrespectful whore-”

“Naomi, not in front of my niece,” he heard Gabriel say, making Castiel look at him in confused surprise.

“What?” Castiel tried to understand, but nothing was making sense, Dean’s scent taking over his senses. The only scent that had not made him feel like vomiting all over the place since he returned home.

Gabriel turned to look at him, his eyes turning soft.

“How dare you disrespect me like that in my own home!” Castiel could see his Mother trying to walk towards Gabriel, but being held by Lucifer before she could get close enough to do any damage.

“Mother, Gabriel has as much right as any of us to see Castiel.” And that’s the only thing he paid attention to before the smaller alpha took the few steps forward, making Dean step to the side and let Gabriel hug him, his chin resting on Castiel’s left shoulder.

“Heya, Cassie. It’s so good to see you.” Castiel automatically reciprocated the hug, looking at Dean who was smiling, the tears still falling down his face as he took the little girl by the shoulders and putting her in front of himself.

“Gabriel, it’s great to see you, too, brother.” Castiel wanted to hold Gabriel longer, but Gabriel pulled away too fast, turning to look at the little girl, eagerly smiling at her.

“Castiel, this is Zoe. Zoe, this is Castiel, my brother,” Gabriel extended his right hand out towards her, trying to incite her to come forward and say hi. Zoe looked up at Dean, her eyes innocent and questioning.

“Is that him?” She whispered, her little hands clutching her doll as if her life depended on it. Dean laughed a little, sniffing again and wiping the continuous tears away.

“Yeah, baby, it’s him,” and it looked like that was all the prompting Dean’s daughter needed before she looked up at Castiel, her little green eyes holding tears and disbelief she was too young to know about. As if she had waited for so long, she started running towards Castiel, wrapping her little arms around his legs, pushing Gabriel out of the way and letting go of her doll.

Castiel looked at Gabriel in surprised, his heart beating too fast against his ribcage, but Gabriel didn’t provide any explanation and just nodded his head in Castiel’s direction. Castiel turned to look at Dean next, trying to silently ask why he was making Castiel go through this, but Dean just shook his head and cried, even more, looking at his daughter and not saying much. So all he could do was look down, noticing the little girl was hugging him as hard as she could, her sadness so very noticeable in her scent. He could hear his Mother arguing with Michael and Lucifer but Castiel couldn’t really bring himself to focus on them.

“I’ve always wanted to meet you,” he heard the little whisper as she cried and sobbed against his legs.

“Well, it’s so nice to finally meet you, then,” Castiel said, kneeling down to her height and trying to wipe the tears from her little face. She looked so much like Dean, it made Castiel’s heart hurt something awful. Dean’s daughter just smiled widely, her little face turning a darker pink.

“Really?” She whispered, hope burning in her eyes. Castiel tried to keep wiping the snot and tears as they came from her little face. Castiel nodded, trying to give her a small smile but rather than reassuring her, Zoe started crying again, this time harder, her little body rocking with the force of her sobs before she hooked her little arms around Castiel’s neck and hiding her face against his neck like Dean had done, shaking her head. “It’s really good to finally meet you, too, Papa,” and Castiel froze, his heart skipping a beat, his body becoming rigid as he looked up at Dean, his eyes wide and questioning.

So immense was his surprised that he took way too long to returned the hug and as soon as he did, Zoe just started crying, even more, her little body still shaking. Castiel just stared at Dean, while Dean sniffed quietly, looking at them before he really met Castiel’s gaze. Dean didn’t say anything at first, just shrugged and kept looking at him, but he must have read the question on Castiel’s face because he finally gave him the explanation he had been waiting for.

“The day you went to pick the last of your things,” was all Dean said, looking at him as if trying to make Castiel connect all the pieces together and scoffing playfully when he still saw the confusion on Castiel’s face. “I had stopped taking my pills right after _that_ night.” Castiel saw the guilt flash across his face before continuing. “I didn't see it necessary to continue taking them.” After that night when he found him and Benny together but he didn't want to say it out loud.

Castiel rather than thinking about that night, he recalled the day he had shown up at, what at that time had been, their house to pick the rest of his belongings; he recalled the way Dean had kissed him, the way they had roughly made love on the living room's floor and apparently with no protection at all.

“You kept her,” Castiel whispered. He could hear Michael asking something, while his Mother demanded more explanations from Dean.

“I was ready for her,” Dean whispered, completely ignoring Michael and his Mother, looking down and then at Gabriel before focusing back on Castiel. Dean’s daughter - _his daughter, too_ \- kept holding him tightly as if Castiel was going to disappear if she let go of him.

“She’s not Benny’s,” Castiel held her closer, burying his nose in her hair and scenting her before he looked up at Gabriel who was trying really hard to keep from breaking down. He turned to look at Dean, again who sobbed at the relief he was hearing in Castiel’s voice and rapidly shook his head no.

“I never went back to him, Cas. That was the only time. I don’t - I don’t remember why I even did it that night, but I swear to God, baby, that she’s yours.” Dean’s voice was shaky, his hands were moving around as he tried to explain himself. To Castiel, it seemed like Dean was dying to hold his - _their_ \- daughter and him to reassure himself. He took a step forward while Castiel picked _their_ (God, did it feel so good to think about) daughter up, his actual blood and flesh, and looked up at Dean. “She’s _yours_ , Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next Sunday!


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot this chapter existed and that I had to post today, so I'm sorry :(
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **TW: Unconsented knotting. Weird, I know.**

* * *

 

The moment the words had left his mouth, Dean could feel the worry, anxiousness, and fear growing within him. He was afraid of what was going to happen, he was afraid of Castiel’s reaction - of his daughter’s feelings towards Castiel and he didn’t know why. Castiel had stood there, scenting their daughter, eyes closed and tears streaming down his face as he held her tight. All Dean wished at that very moment was to wrap them both in his arms and keep them from harm's way; give them both time to get to know each other. He could still hear Naomi and Lucifer arguing with each other, Michael standing a little apart from all of them, quiet and staring off to the wall and Gabriel standing a little behind Dean’s right side, trying to keep his crying to a minimum.

This was difficult for Castiel, he knew. Finding out about a daughter while he looked for a pup he had lost, a pup he probably knew everything and cared so much about. A pup that Castiel was doing everything to get back even if it meant mentally harming himself. And all Dean could think of at that moment seeing his daughter and Cas together was how he couldn’t let their daughter become a replacement for that pup. Call him insensitive all you want, but it wasn’t fair to his daughter and neither to Castiel. He would have to tell Castiel that - tell him everything about their daughter, tell him how smart she is - how well-behaved she is. How careful and kind-hearted she can be - tell him that she couldn’t be anything but Zoe, their daughter, and nothing or anyone else. Zoe was a part of Castiel and him combined and Dean didn’t want to taint that with the illusion Castiel might get by comparing their daughter to his lost pup. To have him think that he could possibly replace one with the other.

Castiel let Zoe lean back, looking at her and trying to wipe the tears from both their eyes, sniffing and smiling at her.

“Well, you’re a complete, pleasant surprise,” Castiel said, smile still in place and holding Zoe, while she brought her little hand up to Castiel’s face to hold him just like she did with Dean. Dean felt his heart swelling, his tears unstoppable as he wrapped his arms around himself because he didn’t know what else to do with them while he stared at the moment taking place in front of him.,

“Daddy and me and Uncle Sam and Uncle Gabe and Henry thought you were gone,” Zoe whispered, her voice soft and heartbreaking. Dean wanted so much to hold them - he wanted everything for them; for Castiel and their daughter to know no pain.

Castiel let out a shaky chuckle, still trying to clean the tears with his right hand, while he held Zoe with his other.

“I thought I was gone, too, princess,” Castiel looked at her, his smile sad. Dean couldn't move, trying to process everything that was happening, his heart beating way too fast as he tried to ignore Naomi and Lucifer still arguing.

“Daddy said you were watching over us. He would tell me stories about you and angels and and and fighting just like Mulan. Oh!” Zoe’s excitement distracted her from her current conversation while Castiel looked back at Dean with so many emotions Dean didn’t know what to make of them. Zoe turned to look at Dean, her little face tainted with tears and her nose running as she looked around her. “Daddy, where’s my Mulan? I have to show papa my Mulan.” Zoe looked desperately at Dean as if showing Castiel her doll was the most important thing at the moment. Dean tried to move, looking around him trying to see where his daughter might have dropped her doll until he saw Gabriel bend down and pass it to Zoe.

“Here you go, kid,” he said, eyes still shining with the unshed tears as he peered over Castiel and Zoe.

“Thank you, uncle Gabe.” She grabbed the doll excitedly and turned towards Castiel again, shyly looking up, “This is Mulan. She saved China from the invacision-”

“Invasion, you mean?” Castiel chuckled, staring at her with such tenderness it made Dean’s heart hurt.

“Yeah, that. And then she fighted them and saved everyone, but no one believed her about the bad guys coming because she had lied about being an alpha man-” Zoe sighed and rolled her green eyes, always annoyed by that little fact - “But she saved them all and she became a hero!” She finished excitedly, her green eyes holding a little spark in them. Zoe smiled up at Castiel, who had been smiling at her the whole time.

“I can’t believe their ignorance and misogyny either. Terrible people for not believing her.” Dean saw the way Zoe’s little frown took over her face before looking at him over her shoulder briefly, and back to Castiel.

“I don’t know what that word means, Papa,” she replied quietly, glancing down at her doll for a second before meeting Castiel’s gaze again. Castiel smiled before he walked towards the armchair to his right, taking a seat and putting Zoe on his lap, making her look at him again.

“Misogyny is when someone, more commonly an alpha, is… mean toward an omega simply for being an omega. For example, using derogatory and sexist slurs towards an omega due to their secondary gender,” Castiel explained, running his hand down Zoe’s hair, pulling one of the curls and seeing it bounce back up. Despite Castiel’s explanation, Zoe looked more confused than she had before Castiel had tried to explain the meaning to her. She looked up at Castiel, her lower lip trembling and blinking away tears, trying to meet Castiel’s gaze shyly.

“I don’t know what that other word means, Papa, I’m sorry,” she whispered. Castiel looked at her before bringing her in and hugging her.

"It's okay, princess. The important thing is that we know about Mulan being an amazing girl-"

"An omega, too," Zoe interrupted, making Castiel chuckle and Dean to smile.

"Of course, and she defeated the Huns and saved a country. She was a brave young omega lady who didn't let anyone get in her way," Castiel kissed the top of her head before letting her go while Zoe tried to sit up again. She glanced towards Dean, smiling widely before turning to Gabriel.

"I knew you would know about her. She's really awesome isn't she?" Zoe whispered, peering up at Castiel with shyness.

"Very much so," Castiel responded quietly, meeting her gaze and caressing her cheek.

"I want to be just like her," Zoe brought her little her hand up, covering Castiel's and staring at him with such devotion that Dean could not believe his daughter held. He knew how much Zoe loved to hear him talk about Castiel but he had never imagined how much she had dedicated of herself to her alpha father before now. Zoe still held her Mulan doll with her other hand, her grip on her doll still tight due to all the excitement she felt knowing that her papa knew about her favorite heroine.

Castiel didn't say anything, just stared at her, his gaze trying to take in every little thing from their daughter.

"You're so beautiful," Castiel whispered, his eyes watering again before he looked up at Dean. "She looks so much like you," Dean felt his pulse quickened at the attention, his tears still obscuring his vision.

He smiled, looking down before meeting Castiel's gaze. "Except for the hair. She got that from you. Well, at least the color, the curls might have been from mom, but you know," Dean shrugged, feeling his cheeks heating up with having Castiel's intent focus on him.

Dean heard Michael’s sigh before he turned to look at Castiel and Zoe.

“Castiel, I know this is a very emotional moment for you, but we really need to get our matters done with,” Michael said, making Castiel tense, his smile falling with the sudden interruption, looking down at the doll Zoe was holding before nodding and looking up at Dean.

Dean saw so much hurt in his eyes, fear, and desperation and every instinct in him jumped to his alpha’s defense.

“Are you sure he should be dealing with everything at such a rush time, Michael?” Dean turned to look at Michael as he stood behind his Mother, who had finally calmed down enough and now stared at Zoe and Castiel with something Dean couldn’t quite make out. Michael didn’t look at him directly and rather kept his gaze on Castiel.

“It is very crucial to deal with this now if Castiel really wants to find his pup,” Michael replied, still not breaking his gaze from Castiel. Castiel stood up, bringing Zoe up with him before he made his way towards Dean. He stopped in front of him, passing Zoe to him.

“Do you think I could spend some more time with her after I finish with Lucifer and Michael here?” Castiel whispered, looking down at his hand that was currently holding onto Zoe’s little one.

“Yeah, of course, Cas. You can spend as much time with her - ”

“Why can’t we spend time together now?” Zoe asked, her little hand clutching onto Castiel's tightly.

“Castiel, come on, bro. I’m sure you can take a break from this. This is the first time you see your daughter and this is the first time she sees you. Let her have this,” Gabriel chimed in, stepping forward and resting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel glanced at his direction, trying to smile a little at him. But before he could say anything, Michael interrupted them again.

“Gabriel, Castiel has to focus on this case. If we don’t deal with this as soon as possible, we may not get the information we need to find his pup,” Michael exclaimed, tucking his hands in his pockets before looking at Gabriel, his eyebrows scrunched together in annoyance.

Gabriel sighed, turning to look at Michael. “Mikey, I’m sure that whatever source of information or whatever you have to discuss with Cassie can wait. Now, come on, little bro! You have a lot of time to make up for.” Gabriel grabbed Castiel by both shoulders, pushing him towards the exit while Dean walked a few steps in front of them, carrying Zoe with them.

“Castiel, you know April is not taking this lightly. You know that whore will only talk if you talk to her,” Castiel heard Lucifer say, causing him to halt their departure, body rigid as he tried to shake Gabriel off. Lucifer took a few steps towards the table where the papers were sitting, picking them up and taking a seat on the sofa Castiel had sat a moment ago. “We already discussed this, all you have to do is sign and everything will be ready, brother. Come on, get it over with,” Lucifer gestured towards the documents he was now holding, before grabbing the pen that rested on the table still, and motioned Castiel forward. Castiel nodded, walking back and sitting in front of Lucifer on the other armchair before he reached for the pen.

“Wait, wait, wait a sec. You’re making him talk to that psycho?” Gabriel walked back, standing next to Castiel and taking the pen away. Castiel sighed, running his hand down his face before looking down at the documents Lucifer had set in front of him.

“Gabriel if you could please stay out of this,” Castiel whispered, taking the pen back and flipping through the pages trying to look for the place to sign.

Dean felt his fear and anger now taking over him because he could not believe this. He turned to look at Naomi who just stared at Castiel, no guilt or empathy on her face, before turning his gaze on Lucifer, who smiled satisfied and Michael who was now standing behind Lucifer.

“Are you serious about this? You’re really making him do this?” His question was directed towards Michael, making him tense at the tone of voice he had used. Dean, however, could not give a single care about how he sounded at the moment. All he could think about is how Cas was being forced to face that crazy woman after everything she had done to his poor little alpha. He felt his heart ache in his chest, feeling his daughter wrapping her little arms around his neck while she buried her face against his neck, whimpering and tightening her hold on him. He could tell his scent was giving away how he felt and he tried to calm down as to not scare his daughter. Michael looked at him, blue eyes so similar to Castiel’s, yet so different - more distant and colder and unusually devoid of anything.

“April has requested to see Castiel - ”

“Oh, so she asks for something and you easily give it to her?” Dean said, his anger seeping into his voice. “That easily, huh?” He couldn't help the resentment bleeding into his tone because he had been trying for weeks to see his little alpha, yet being denied due to the Novaks not wanting him near Castiel. But the woman who had abused and taken advantage of his poor little alpha asks for a meeting and Michael and Lucifer easily give in.  _Fuck them._ Dean was hurt.

“I don’t think you have any right to question any decision this family makes, Winchester,” Naomi said, her voice clipped and angry. “You lost any right over Castiel the day you decided to present yourself to another alpha other than your husband.”

“Mother!” Castiel stood up, looking at Naomi, his alpha rage palpable in the room. “You have no business in that. That is between Dean and I and I will not let you disrespect him in front of my daughter or anyone else!" Castiel's tone made everyone tense, Dean's heart feeling like it would jump out of his chest. "He’s the father of my daughter and I will not stand to hear about you or anyone else disrespecting him like that.” Castiel looked menacing, his hands turned into fists, his knuckles turning white and most likely his nails leaving marks on his palms. “Dean and I made the decision to go our separate way years ago, I do not wish to let my daughter hear her family speak in such an ill-mannered way about the man that birthed her, so I’d appreciate it if you refrained from doing it again.”

“Oh, so your ex-omega comes running back to you crying with a girl you are not even sure is really yours and you decide to forget about what he did to you? I raised you to be better than that, Castiel!” Naomi yelled, her scent overpowering, causing Zoe to whimpered in distress once again, her little hands clutching onto Dean’s shirt as hard as she could.

“I don’t want to be here, daddy,” she whispered, still trying to hide under Dean’s head.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry - ” Dean wanted to keep his daughter from hearing all this but he also couldn’t leave Castiel here alone. He could scent the anger his alpha was feeling and Dean couldn’t let him deal with everything by himself. Castiel was defending him from Naomi and the least Dean could do was stand next to him.

“Mother, don’t you dare treat me like a child. I am an adult. Whatever I decide to do is my - ”

“Well, Castiel, good for you! I’m glad you are a very capable alpha now. Let’s just forget that your idiocy and lack of taking control of any situation like any other alpha was what got you in this situation in the first place!” Naomi stalked towards him, her eyes filled with anger and malice. Gabriel tried to step in front of Castiel but the younger alpha grabbed him by the arm and shook his head, letting his brother know not to intervene.

Castiel stood up straight meeting Naomi’s gaze.

“Are you forgetting that your refusal to be a true alpha is what has gotten you here? You always trying to satisfy that Winchester omega and look where it got you. The moment you left my side, Castiel, you were lost! You became nothing but a puppet for this whore and then you get yourself in an even worst situation with another omega because you couldn’t handle her either!” Lucifer stepped forward, trying to hold their mother back but Naomi let out a warning growl, glancing at him briefly trying to let him know that it wasn’t the smartest idea to interrupt her. “I made you, Castiel. I know what’s best for you and if you would have listened to me ten years ago and moved on from that whore - ” Naomi gestured towards Dean, who looked livid and finally walked out of the study with Zoe in his arms crying, still worry about Castiel but knowing that neither Gabriel, Castiel or himself, should let Zoe hear something so hateful from her grandmother, before returning her gaze back to Castiel. “You would have never been in this situation. You would have taken Amelia for yourself and Claire would be yours and not James'. For the Lord’s sake, even Megan Master would have sufficed and you’d be happily mated, claiming mark and all, with at least two _adopted_ pups you actually had taken the time to care for since birth like a true alpha!” Naomi’s breaths came out rapid, her scent overwhelming and masking Castiel’s hurt and anger.

Castiel couldn’t do anything; he couldn’t say anything because that was his Mother and he had no right to disrespect her _and she was right._ She was his Mother and Castiel knew that she was right. Maybe not about not marrying Dean, but about him not being a true alpha - not being enough alpha to care for Dean to keep him from seeking things Castiel should have have been giving him in another alpha.

Castiel took a deep breath, glancing down and nodding his head in acceptance, meeting Lucifer’s gaze, who stood next to their mother, his posture rigid and his face emotionless. Lucifer nodded and pushed the documents forward in his direction. Gabriel’s scent let Castiel know how much he was trying to keep himself from saying whatever he had to say but didn’t for Castiel’s sake while Michael looked calm, relaxed, even.

He didn’t say anything else, just took the few steps forward, grabbed the pen to signed but stopping for a second to glance at the door Dean had left through with their daughter. Guilt seeped through Castiel’s scent because he had failed to protect his daughter from witnessing such a scene and probably ruined whatever wonderful dream come true she had planned about how their first meeting should have been.

“Sign Castiel. You have no other choice. You decided to make this pup your main priority in this case and that’s what I’m doing,” he heard Michael say. Gabriel let out a growled behind him, his scent turning sour.

“Like hell, you are. You know damn well this is all on you, Naomi and Lucifer,” Gabriel turned to look at Lucifer, his eyes turning sad. “How can you do this?” The question directed towards Lucifer, who refused to look at Gabriel.

“Michael has already explained how important meeting with April Kelly is, Gabriel. Castiel chose to keep everything from reaching the news and this is what it must be done to do it.” Lucifer pretended to fix his cuffs and suit jacket, still trying to ignore Gabriel’s gaze. Naomi sighed, her scent still carrying her anger but turned to look at Gabriel with such a calm and expressionless face.

“This has nothing to do with you, Gabriel. You have no right to make any inquiries about what happens in my home.”

“Well, does Father know about this?” Gabriel asked, his anger coming back in one go as Naomi tensed, yet her face didn’t change. Castiel closed his eyes, trying to keep a headache that was forming at bay and bent down to sign the papers.

“It doesn’t matter, Gabriel. Father’s busy with business, him knowing about this wouldn’t change my decision.”

“Cassie, he wouldn’t be forcing you into this,” Gabriel whispered resting his hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel glanced up at him, shaking his head and exhaling.

“It’s fine, go out there and tell Dean and Zoe I’ll be there in a moment.”

“Cassie - ”

“Go, Gabriel,” Castiel looked down again, forcing his vision to focus on the line where he had to sign. He waited until Gabriel had exited the study reluctantly, before sighing again and trying to ignore the three pairs of eyes on him. He had nothing to lose, nothing to argue with and refuse to meet April. If he truly wanted to find his other pup, he had to make a decision and sign.

“Come on, Castiel. Time is of the essence,” Michael said, walking forward and standing next to him, his presence a heavy weight on his shoulders.

Castiel had nothing to offer but disappointment. His Mother was right, he had never been a true alpha. And even though he knew he would never be able to be like his Mother, didn’t hold the same sexist views about omegas - never saw eye to eye with her about alphas being above omegas - by doing this he hoped he could at least restore some of the respect she once had towards him. So without any more hesitation, he signed the papers and didn’t turn back.

 

**xXx**

 

“Can I see some I.D.?” The correctional officer asked, his alpha scent annoyed and bored with having to constantly ask for the same thing repeatedly.

“Of course, brother,” he replied, taking his wallet out and passing his I.D. over.

“Who will you be seeing today?”

“Actually, I have a little favor to ask,” he got a band of hundreds out of his pocket, letting the correctional officer see it. The CO cleared his throat, looking behind him and around before meeting the other alpha’s gaze, again.

“I’m sure whatever request you have can be arranged,” the officer, Meyers, as it said in his uniform, met his gaze before nodding.

“Ah, yes. I just wanted to have a private meeting with my cousin, April Kelly? You see, I would really appreciate if you could keep my name from reaching your visitation list?” Meyers looked around, his face seeming conflicted now that he knew what was on the tables.

“Alright, listen, man. I wish I could but they have cameras all around the perimeters - ”

“Ah, come on! I’m sure you can deal with that. I’ll even double whatever you’d be for asking, chief.” Meyers looked around the room worriedly, sighing before looking back at him and hesitantly nodding. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about.” He grabbed the envelope with the cash he had brought in with him and exchanged it for his I.D.

“Is there any way I could talk to her without being watched?” He asked, turning back briefly and smiling at the other CO who was standing next to the door, her smile flirtatious and wide before he turned to Meyers again. Meyers nodded before looking up again and whispering “she’ll be in the back right outside the emergency exits. Meet me there in ninety minutes and I’ll be there with your cousin.”

Meyers leaned back, glancing behind himself again before standing up straight and meeting his gaze.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lafitte, but that is information I am not authorized to give,” Meyers, stared at him, nodding towards the exit.

“Very well, officer. You can’t blame a brother for asking,” he replied, before turning and walking towards the female CO, a beta by her scent. “You should tell your partner to loosen up a little,” he said, smiling at her.

She raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow before smirking at him. “Or maybe you shouldn’t be asking for information that doesn’t concern you,” she replied.

Benny gave her a once over, seeing every possible curve that uniform failed to hide, those exquisite breasts and nice backside before he met her gaze. Her dirty blonde hair was up in a bun, her green eyes, even though a little clearer than he preferred, peered at him with mirth in them while those pink plumbed lips reminded him of someone else.

“Maybe you’re right, Cher. Maybe I’m the one in need of loosening up,” he replied, his voice low and deep. He saw the way her pupils expanded, the arousal taking over her scent. Williams - as her uniform read - smirked up at him, the expression on her face reminding him of someone else, and Benny couldn’t help the wave of arousal that passed through him. He wanted to run his tongue over that mouth and devour it, see those pink and full lips around his cock while those green eyes peered up at him with confusion and haziness. He wanted to see those eyes shining from the effort of trying to take him in, even further in, swallowing his dick completely.

“You’re getting, too excited on me, alpha,” Williams whispered, her voice a little rougher than it had been when she had first addressed him. And even though she was trying to play coy, Benny could smell the arousal in her scent, so he ignored her previous comment before turning back to look at Meyers who had been watching them with a frowned on his face. Benny winked at him and Meyers nodded before Benny grabbed the beta’s hand and brought it up to his lips.

“Maybe you can help me with that?”

Williams smiled, her teeth perfectly straight and white while those lips kept mocking him. “Oh, I most certainly can and will, sir. We don’t want you disturbing the civilians in here.” Benny took her and walked out the building, reaching his truck and unlocking it.

“Nice car,” Williams said, climbing in while she started unbuttoning her uniform shirt.

“You’re about to have a nice time in it, too,” was Benny’s replied before he proceeded to rid both of them of their clothes. He was glad that he had parked the car far from the entrance, knowing it would’ve been suspicious if the cameras took an image of his car there, and started to tease Williams, opening her up, resting her on the back seat naked and breathless before going down on her. Benny knew that everything would have been better if Williams had had more of a resemblance to Dean. Maybe a more masculine build but she would have to do. Either way, those lips around his dick while those green eyes peered up at him could be the perfect distraction from Williams lack of dick.

Benny enjoyed the soft curves of her body, often imagining they belonged to someone else, her moans he could pretend were a little deeper while her legs wrapped around him when he finally sank into her warmth. He liked that he hadn’t undone her bun, the little strands of hair enough to help his little fantasy. Her scent was a little difficult to overturn but he managed it and he could finally feel like someone else was with him. Someone else moaning and whimpering. Those plumbed lips following his for another desperate kiss and those nails digging into his shoulders, bringing memories from a night a little over five years ago.

“Oh! There, there! Fuck yeah, come on, alpha. Fuck me,” Benny kissed her again, trying to keep her from talking and distracting him from his fantasy.

“Sh, Cher. No talking, just let me hear those pretty little noises you make.” Benny kept pounding into her warm and soft slit, his thrust being met by soft hips. He could see it clearly, those green eyes became the right shade, those lips still swollen from the harsh kisses and those little noises finally reaching the right tone.

“Come on, Cher. You’re taking me in so well, so deep,” Benny reached down to pump the erection he had imagined would be there but soon realized was missing, almost breaking the illusion. He tried to reach the little image back again and looked down, not seeing Williams but Dean, while his thrust became harsher and more forceful, the little noises increasing in volume.

“There we go, Sugar. You look so good taking me like that,” Benny’s voice was rougher, the forceful pace of his thrust making the truck move in tandem with him.

He saw those green eyes peered up at him, so beautiful and hazy, so unfocused and those beautiful swollen lips parted, letting out the most delicious noises he had ever heard. He felt nails sliding down his back, legs wrapping tighter around his waist before Dean threw his head back in pleasure, his body spasming while he dug his nails harder into Benny’s back. Benny gave a few more thrust before he lost himself in the pleasure, his knot tying them together while Dean clenched around him, oh so deliciously.

“Damn it, asshole! You knotted me!” He heard a feminine voice, bringing him back to reality and destroying his perfect fantasy.

“Oh, shut it, sugar. You didn’t say you didn’t want it,” Benny replied, straightening up and pulling Williams up with him. Williams scoffed, hitting him on his chest.

“Have you not heard about consent only being verbal and all that,” she said, but Benny just shrugged carelessly.

“If you didn’t stop it, it meant you wanted it.” Williams rolled her eyes before resting her head on his chest.

“Alphas, always thinking you have the power to decide everything,” she whispered, but Benny just ignored her and let the time pass by, waiting for his knot to go down and for his meeting with Meyers and April to approach.

“You all are the same. Y’all complain about alphas taking, but ain’t say much when we taking,” Benny replied, his eyes closing trying to catch a nap, seeing he still had about forty-five minutes to go before his meeting.

“It’s not like it’ll make a difference,” Williams responded, making Benny chuckle, but he didn’t reply. He just ignored it and let himself fall into oblivion where Dean was the one sitting on top of him, all pliant and soft and so warm and wet around his knot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK OK OK I have a very serious question.
> 
> To anyone who wants to answer:  
> Have any of y'all watched That 70s Show? And if so, who's the better couple, Kelso and Jackie or Hyde and Jackie? THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME BECAUSE I WANT TO START WRITING THIS OTHER A/B/O DESTIEL STORY BUT IDK IF I SHOULD DO IT. I know this might look like it doesn't correlate to me writing the story, but it does.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Let me know what y'all think. See y'all next Sunday!


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: Mentions of rape, mentions infertility, and manipulation.**

* * *

 

“Daddyyyy! Did you see that? I went down the big slide, Daddy - Papa! Did you see it? Did you?” Castiel couldn’t believe the situation right now, he really could not. He had never in his life expected to come back home and find he had a pup; Castiel didn’t even think about more pups other than the one he was searching for. He didn’t know how to feel. Castiel didn’t know what to do - what to think. Zoe was the best thing he had gotten since he returned home and he honestly did not know how to handle the situation. Castiel really wanted to be a great father - to be there for his pups and be a real alpha to protect them. But he had no idea how’d he accomplish that, and he was beyond scared.

Zoe ran towards him, her smile so big and pure and full of innocence it made something in him lighten. Castiel wanted to keep that innocence in her for the rest of her life. To have her know no pain or bad in the world; he wanted her protected from anything that could harm her pureness and innocence.

He bent down, opening his arms trying to catch her in a hug, bringing her up to kiss her temple.

“Of course, I did, princess. I could not have missed it,” he responded, bringing her closer and scenting her. Zoe wrapped her little arms around his neck, hiding her face there and giggling. Castiel could feel Gabriel and Dean’s gaze on them, could scent them in the air, but he had tried to steer away from them for the moment and try to spend time with his daughter. The daughter he knew nothing about and had to rectify that fact.

“I’ve never gone down the big slide before,” Zoe whispered, her little hands tightening around his neck. Castiel smile, rubbing his hand against her back. She was so small for her age it made Castiel think he would break her if he wasn’t delicate enough when handling her.

“Well, I’m honored to have witnessed your big moment of bravery.”

“Just like Mulan, right? Brave like her?”

“Of course, princess,” Castiel replied, trying to make her lean back, so he could see her face. Zoe looked so much like Dean it was unbelievable.

She smiled, her little teeth showing and her eyes wrinkling around the corners with her contentment.

“I like being called princess,” she said, lifting her gaze to meet his, her right hand taking a hold of Castiel’s tie to pull it. Castiel chuckled, walking back to the steps to go up the big slide again.

They had left Naomi’s house as soon as Castiel had signed the documents, not even saying goodbye as soon as he left the study to meet Gabriel and Dean. Dean, who had been trying to comfort their daughter in the living room. Castiel had felt guilt as soon as he had seen the way his daughter had looked while crying. Her little eyes all puffed and red due to her tears, her hands shaking with fear after the screaming she had heard from Naomi. He felt anger towards his mother for making her cry, for ruining the image Zoe might have had when she first met him. He wanted to go back and yell at his Mother to never put his daughter in that position again, to never make her feel like that ever.

Zoe had looked up at him after he had knelt down in front of her, while Dean sat in the love seat hugging her against his chest trying to wipe her tears and whispering something to comfort her. He had immediately stopped once Castiel had tried to reach for Zoe, who had refused to go to him.

“I’m sorry about that, Zoe. Please forgive me for putting you in that situation,” he had said, trying to coerce her into his arm. Zoe had shaken her head, trying to get closer to Dean, hiding her face against his chest. Dean had looked at him with sadness filling those green eyes, eyes so similar to their daughter’s. Castiel couldn’t help the feeling of incompetence he had felt at that moment for not being alpha enough to stand up against his Mother and keep his daughter, and even Dean, from hearing what she had so explicitly yelled at them.

Castiel had shaken his head, trying to wash away the self-pity to try to console his daughter again. Gabriel had stood to the side, not saying anything, just staring at them. Castiel could imagine the pity his older brother felt for him as well, so he had refused to turn to look at Gabriel.

It had taken a little bit of begging to get Zoe to look at him. It had taken Castiel promising to take her wherever she wanted, which Dean had scolded him for because it “isn’t the right way to get a kid to come to you,” and spend some time together to get know each other. Zoe had hesitantly accepted, looking at Dean for permission before nodding and reaching to rest her little hand on the left side of his face.

“I’m really sorry, princess.” Zoe hadn’t said anything, just went in, throwing herself at him and resting her head against his chest, hugging him as hard as she could. Castiel felt a lot better than he had the right to.

They had decided to go to the park to spend some time together and they had been there for most of the day.

“No one calls you princess? Well, that’s very reproachable,” Castiel replied, bringing himself back to the present. Zoe shrugged while standing on top of the steps Castiel had set her on, making her job easier by avoiding climbing said steps.

“Aunt Ellen sometimes does. Aunt Charlie, too. Daddy usually goes for _baby_ ," she scrunched her nose at the word, Castiel smiling because of it. "But I’m not a baby anymore. I’m turning five years old soon,” Zoe held out her fingers trying to emphasize her point. Castiel chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, my birthday!” She looked up again, meeting Castiel gaze, “You won’t miss it right, papa? You’ll be there? We can take a photo with my cake. I’ll even let you have the first and biggest piece.” Zoe said, her face so full of hope, while her eyes tried to meet his gaze shyly. Castiel felt his heart twist painfully, upset and angry at the fact that his daughter felt the need to bribed him to come to her birthday party.

Castiel took a few steps back, gesturing to the top of the slide.

“Of course, I’ll be there princess. You don’t even have to ask,” he looked down momentarily, still feeling Dean and Gabriel’s gaze - who had decided to just sit on one of the benches to give Zoe and Castiel some time to enjoy each other’s company - on them.

"You'll get to meet Henry and see Uncle Sam and Aunty Sarah," Zoe bounced on her feet excitedly, looking at Castiel with such bright eyes.

"Of course, Sweetheart. But I think it would be more probable I see them way before your birthday," Castiel noticed Zoe scrunching up her nose and looking up in thought.

"Hm... You're probably right," she giggled before looking behind Castiel and then back at him. "You're going to be forced to see everyone. Even grandma and Aunt Ellen!" Castiel felt sadness and happiness all mix together in him hearing about finally seeing Mary and Ellen, again. He nodded his head, a little smile tugging at his lips, looking up to meet Zoe's gaze.

He glanced briefly at the slide before looking at Zoe again.

“Now, if you go down the big slide again, I’ll take you to get some ice-cream.”

“But Daddy said I couldn’t have ice-cream too late in the night,” Zoe scrunched her eyebrows together, pouting a little before peering at Castiel through her lashes. Castiel couldn’t help the tug he felt in his chest because his daughter reminded him so much of Dean.

Castiel glanced behind them, catching Dean’s gaze who smiled hesitantly at him from where he was sitting, his arms crossed over his chest, while his right leg kept bouncing nervously. Castiel returned the smile, only glancing at Gabriel for a second and seeing him wave at them before he turned back to Zoe.

“Is only four-thirty, I’m sure he won’t mind.” He tucked his hand into the pocket of his coat, which he was now thankful for in the late October weather.

Zoe turned to face the slide before looking back at Castiel.

“What if I can’t go down the slide again?”

“You already went down once, you can do it again,”

“But I was just trying to get you to like me,” Zoe whispered, seeming ready to cry. Castiel took the few steps forward, again, resting his hand on either side of her small frame.

“Hey, it's okay. You don’t have to go again if you don’t want to. We can move to the other one,” Castiel tried to catch her eyes again to conveyed that it was okay if she didn't want to do it again - he was not going to force her to do it. It was something he didn't seem to think had much importance but Zoe looked ready to break down over it. “And you don’t have to get me to like you, princess. I already do, okay?” Zoe nodded, sniffing and putting her left hand on his chest while she rubbed her eyes with the other one.

“I don’t want to go down the slides anymore.”

“It's okay, we can still get some ice-cream.”

“But you said we would get ice-cream only if I go down the slide,” Castiel smiled wholeheartedly, winking at her before picking her up and carrying her back to Dean and Gabriel.

“But you did go down the big slide.” He saw Dean and Gabriel stand up, Dean nervously wiping his hands on his jeans as Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest, a playful smirk set on his face.

“But that was before you said-”

“You’re bravery needs to be rewarded. The first time going down the big slide all to try and impress me?” Zoe smiled, her hair all over the place because of the wind blowing while she looked at Dean and waved.

“Daddy, Papa’s taking us to get ice-cream! All because I was brave to go down the big slide,” Zoe giggled, reaching towards Dean. Castiel let her go, smiling at Dean once Zoe had left his arms. “You saw it, right, Daddy? I went down the big slide and Papa said I was really brave for doing it.” Dean held Zoe close, kissing her temple and scenting her before smiling at her, petting her hair down.

“Of course, I saw you, baby. You were awesome,” Zoe scrunched her nose, looking at Castiel, a playful spark in her eyes.

“See, what did I tell you?” Castiel let out a small laugh, shaking his head before looking at Gabriel who raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“What did she tell you, baby bro?” Gabriel asked, his own smirk still in place. Castiel turned to look at Zoe, Dean having a confused smile on his face.

“Nothing much. Just something about five-year-old babies not being something very common,” Castiel smiled at her, while Zoe giggled loudly, making Dean and Gabriel smiled at her too.

"About to be five, Papa," she rolled her eyes playfully before bringing her eyes to his, smiling wide.

“So now you have something to say about me?” Dean went to tickle her, making her laugh even more. Castiel could see more clearly the many similarities between them and he couldn’t help the painful pang he felt in his heart. They both looked so majestic against the setting sunlight it hurt him to know he had missed this for five years of their lives. It hurt him so much that he couldn’t have it all completely even know. Dean didn’t belong to him and he couldn’t forget about Meg and his plan to move on. Even if now he had to include another pup in the chaotic mess that it was his life. He prayed to a God, anyone really, that he'd turn out to be a good enough father for his pups.

Gabriel stepped forward, resting his hand on one of his shoulders, making him look back at him. Gabriel looked at him with knowing eyes, the pity still held by the hazel irises staring back at him.

“Come on, let’s get moving if we want to get that ice-cream you mentioned before.”

  


**xXx**

 

“Move it along, inmate. We don’t have much time!” April felt the officer forcefully pushing her down an unknown side of the prison she had never been before.

“Where are you taking me? What are you doing?” She kept asking, but the officer didn’t answer and rather kept pushing her, making her walked rapidly down the corridor. “Are you trying to take advantage of me? I’ll tell my lawyer everything, I’ll sue the whole prison and you-”

“Damn it, bitch, just keep moving and shut it!” They stopped briefly, leaning against the wall while the correctional officer looked around before making her keep walking. April tried to pull away, only to have the grip on her upper arm tighten.

“Ow, you knothead, you’re hurting me!”

“Shush, you bitch! Keep walking.” They reach one of the emergency exit doors before the asshole forcing her to come use his I.D. to try to open the door without setting the alarm off.

“What are you doing? I will scream if you try to-”

“Would you shut up?!”

“It's okay, brother. I can take it from here,” April heard someone behind them say, making her turn around. She looked at the man in front her; grey-blue eyes, dark short hair, beard and a smirk on his face. He was taller than she and the CO forcing her out there.

“What is this? Why am I here?” April turned to look at the CO, trying to desperately get answers.

“Come on, April. Don’t you remember me? It’s your cousin Benny,” the man said, confusing her even more. She turned to the officer, her hands still tightly cuffed making it difficult for her to try and take a hold of his uniform.

“Please, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t-”

“I’m here with news about that alpha of yours,” the unknown alpha, Benny, interrupted her, making her halt her movements.

“You got fifteen minutes,” the officer replied, before opening the door and going back inside. April didn’t say anything, just stood in front of the man trying to decipher what he could possibly know about Castiel.

“Arrogant bastard,” Benny whispered, looking at the door the officer had disappeared through.

“What are you talking about? What do you know about my alpha?” April asked, her voice suspicious, her eyes narrowing.

“Hot wings, or more commonly known, Castiel is back with his family,” April snorted, rolling her eyes.

“Of course, he is, asshole. If he wasn’t I wouldn’t be here.”

Benny smiled, looking down before taking a few steps forward.

“I don’t think you’re understanding me, sweetcheeks. Castiel’s back with his ex-husband, who by the way, has a child,” Benny smiled, noticing the way that news peaked April’s attention. April looked up, surprised and anger written all over her face.

“That son of a bitch, dirty whore! What does he want with Castiel?” April took a step forward, glaring at Benny, her voice demanding and rageful. Benny couldn’t be more pleased with it.

“You see, my sweet cousin, Dean, the ex-husband, had a daughter,” Benny stated, pacing around her, watching her closely, his smile angering her even more. “And said daughter was conceived close to a time where Castiel and I were enjoying that sweet piece of ass,” he paused, looking at her. Her scent had changed with her anger, turning to face him again now that he had ended behind her.

“You’re the alpha that whore left my alpha for,” April stated, her voice disgusted by that fact. Benny smiled, so pleased knowing that April shared at least some common ground with him.

“The one and only,” Benny replied, looking her up and down. “You see, sweetheart, the reason why I’m here for is that I need your help.”

April scrunched her brows together, trying to figure why this alpha could possibly want her help for and why she would even consider giving it to him in the first place.

“The girl is mine,” Benny started walking around her again, trying to keep her scent and expression from letting the alpha figure out how much the situation was affecting her. All he was getting right now was anger and hatred and Benny couldn’t be more pleased.

“And the bitch is trying to pass it as Castiel’s,” April whispered, looking at him suddenly, her scent getting stronger by the second as her anger grew in her.

“Well, you’re smarter than I thought,” Benny chuckled, his stopped his pacing and stood in front of her again. April couldn’t believe, the whore had not only left Castiel for a mediocre alpha but now he was trying to get him back by pushing a kid on him - the little slut!

April didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to think. She needed to see Castiel, get him to come see her and make him realize again how much in love they are. She needed to get him back to her, try to meet with him again. Those brothers of his were taking too long to bring news back to her and now more than ever she knew she had to press for this meeting.

She looked up again, her eyes containing so much rage, catching Benny’s gaze.

“What do you want from me?” April asked, trying to mask her scent because she knew that someone smart enough couldn’t let their emotions overpower their head. She knew she couldn’t seem vulnerable to an unknown alpha, there was a reason why she had made it so far in Afghanistan.

Benny smiled again, nodding before turning to look at the door April had come from.

“I need some information-”

“Forget it. I’m not talking. If you want my help you’re going to have to ask for something else.”

“Look here, sweetcheeks. I couldn’t care any less about that alpha of yours, really. But at the moment he’s getting in the way of getting my daughter and my mate back.”

April raised her brow, her face so serious it made Benny nervous. “And what are you doing to accomplish that?”

“Look, bitch, the only thing I need from you is to do something with your connections or something and get Castiel from taking my omega,” he took a step back, glancing at the door before turning to April again. “You want your alpha, I want my omega and my daughter. You help me, you help yourself, so how about-” April interrupted him again, making him grit his teeth in frustration and annoyance.

“Fine, but you don’t get to tell me what to do. I do this because I want my alpha back not out of the kindness of my heart to try to help you,” April moved her hand, trying to walk towards the door.

“Whatever works, dear cousin, all I need is for you to get that sorry excuse for an alpha out my way,” Benny yelled after her making April halt, her rage coming back in one, turning around to face this knothead, stalking towards him.

“Don’t you ever talk about him like that, you hear me? I can bet you whatever that he’s more alpha than you, _cousin_. If he wasn’t you wouldn’t be here asking me for help to try to keep him from taking that whore back,” she stabbed her index finger against his chest forcefully, looking up to meet his angry gaze. “So keep your mouth shut about my alpha or you go down - I’ll make sure of that, do you understand?” April didn’t wait for a reply, just turned back around and proceeded to make her way back to the door.

“What are you even going to do to keep him from Dean?” She heard Benny asked, but she didn’t even flinch, just shrugged and kept walking.

“You focus on your bitch and let me handle my alpha.” And with that, she banged on the door, making the officer that had forced her out there to open it, forcefully taking a hold of her. April didn’t even complain this time, too wrapped up in her own thoughts to even say something about the knothead walking her back to her cell.

She needed to think of something to get Castiel from taking that omega whore back - she needed to keep her alpha from falling into the claws of that bitch. April couldn’t lose Castiel, she couldn’t! They belonged together, they were meant to be and she was not going to lose him to a throwaway whore who was too stupid to keep him when he had him. No, April was going to see Castiel again, get her alpha back because she knew that the only way this could end was with her and Castiel together. That was the only way.

So during the night, she thought of anything to tell Castiel to try to keep him from going back to that Dean. She needed something to hold him back to her. April realized that telling Castiel about their pup not being real was out of the question, now. She couldn’t tell him about how she had decided to not have it, she would just push him further into the arms of that omega and she couldn’t have that - she couldn’t.

And that’s when she realized it; the pup. The pup was a great excuse to keep Castiel busy, try to keep him from going back to his ex-husband rather than her. Of course, why hadn’t she thought of it before? She could lie to Castiel, no matter how much it pained her. She knew this was necessary; all this was no matter how much it really hurt her. She was going to tell Castiel where to look, where to find a pup. Maybe not his pup, but Castiel wouldn’t know the difference. All she had to do is mentioned one of the omegas' homes who had given birth during the time she would’ve and try to get Castiel to think it was theirs. She would just use one of the young omegas she had made sleep with Castiel and the omega would feel powerless when Castiel sent his people to collect the pup. The omegas April had used over there had no voice, they had nothing, so it wouldn’t be difficult to get one to lie about the child being April and Castiel’s.

Yes, it was perfect, genius even! And April had the perfect omega in mind.

 

**xXx**

 

Meg had been surprised when she received the call that evening. She couldn’t believe that someone like Naomi would even take the time of day to try and contact her at all.

“I’m kind of confuse about the purpose of this call,” Meg had been trying to make herself a sandwich when suddenly the phone had ringed, and she had been so surprised about the caller being Naomi and even more so when Naomi tried to exchange pleasantries with her like they did the phone conversation on a regular basis.

“Meg, darling, I was just trying to call and talk to you about you and Castiel? He told me about meeting with you yesterday,” Naomi’s voice sounded so fake friendly it made Meg roll her eyes at it.

“Clarence, of course, he came by yesterday. Spent some time together, watched a movie. No sex, though, unfortunately,” Meg knew that a sexual encounter with Castiel would be a long way to come and she knew that she was being insensitive about Castiel’s situation, but she honestly didn’t feel like talking to Naomi right now, or ever.

Naomi cleared her throat, seeming uncomfortable with Meg being so crass.

“Yes, I know. He told about his visit.”

Meg raised an eyebrow amused by this, while she set the sandwich she had made on a small plate before picking it up, walking towards the living room and sitting down on the couch in front of the T.V. She raised her feet on the coffee table, set a cushion on her lap and put her plate on top of it, now remembering that she had forgotten her drink. She threw her head back and groaned.

“Is something wrong? Is it a bad time?” Naomi asked, her voice taking an even faker worrisome tone.

“Unfortunately, it is, Mrs. Novak. I’m in the middle of some very important work and I can’t be more distracted,” Meg replied, setting her plate on the coffee table before getting up and walking back to the kitchen to grab a coke.

“Right, of course, how rude of me to call right now. I just wanted to invite you to dinner sometime this week? Perhaps get to know each other more since you and Castiel-” Meg let out a tired sigh, resting her hand on the side of the fridge, replying before opening to look for what she came here for.

“We’re hardly even talking, Mrs. Novak. We just saw each other for the first time in years yesterday.”

“Well, that’s not what I perceived from Castiel. It seemed he was quite content after seeing you yesterday,” Naomi said, making Meg stop her movements for a second before proceeding because she was really hoping that yesterday might have been her chance with Castiel.

Meg stood up straight once she had found she wanted, closing the fridge and walking back to the living room.

“How much did he tell you?” She set her drink next to her plate before sitting back down and resting the cushion she had put aside again on her lap.

“Well, he mentioned something about moving on and you being a great start. I think it's quite wonderful he’s trying to do so. Especially now that Winchester is trying to get back in his life.”

Meg halted her movements again, her attention completely on Naomi now. “Dean went to see him?” Her voice was so shaky she hated herself for it.

“He certainly did. Today in the morning actually. Barged into my home to talk to Castiel, yelling about that daughter of his being Castiel’s too.”

Meg felt dread run down her spine because the only thing that could change Castiel’s mind about the whole moving on idea would be Dean and finding out about having a daughter.

“I thought the kid was Benny’s.”

“We all did, darling. I mean, can you blame us? He did cheat on my son for that poor excuse of an alpha.”

Meg tried to center herself again, tried to keep her voice from letting on her emotions.

“Yeah, well,” Meg didn’t know what to do - what to say. She had really held some hope after yesterday and all the talking and kissing Castiel and she had done. She cleared her throat, trying to take a hold of her feelings. “So is it really his, then."

“I’m not certain. The girl has nothing from my son, rather than the color of her hair, but we all know she could have inherited that from that other alpha,” Naomi said, her voice so clipped and flippant about the whole situation.

“You don’t think she's Castiel’s,” Meg guessed. Naomi sighed, sounding so tired and fake it put Meg on edge.

“Of course, I don’t, darling. Winchester has never said anything about that daughter of his being a Novak and now all of a sudden that Castiel is back he wants to claim is my granddaughter? Seems kind of suspicious to me, don’t you agree?” And Meg suddenly understood, all thoughts centered on this conversation.

“You think he’s trying to use the kid to get Castiel,” Meg leaned forward slowly, trying to grasp everything she was being let on by Naomi.

“Well, it could be a possibility.”

Meg snorted, not knowing what else to say. She understood why doing something like that to Castiel would work. Clarence was so righteous he would never leave a kid and the omega alone. That was the sole reason why he was even looking for the pup he had been raped to have.

“If he decides to go back to Dean, I won’t be able to stop him,” she said after a while, trying to keep anything from reaching her tone of voice.

“Now, darling, I’m not saying you should force yourself on him,” Naomi paused for a second before continuing. “All I am really looking for is some help, you understand don’t you, darling?”

Meg rolled her eyes, trying to keep her annoyance at bay. “I’m not sure I’m the one you should be asking for help.”

“But of course, you are! You are the girl my son is trying to start a new life with.” Meg felt her heart beat faster at that, her hands shaking a little. “All I want is to help keep my son from throwing himself back to that Winchester omega.” Meg didn’t say anything, her eyes focused on the T.V. in front of her, not really paying attention, her thoughts too caught up in this conversation she had even forgotten about her sandwich.

She heard Naomi sighed from the other end making her come back to reality.

“Hm… You do care about my son’s well-being, don’t you Megan?” Meg gritted her teeth, hating the way Naomi said her full name. “All I want is for you to keep him from going back to Winchester and keep him to yourself. When we do a paternity test and if the girl does turn to be Castiel’s... Well, I’m sure you and Castiel would know how to fit her into your lives.” Meg braced herself for the next thing because she knew it was coming. “I mean, it would be a great thing, wouldn't it now? Since you’re infertile, having someone close to being a daughter would help you a lot, don’t you agree?”

Meg closed her eyes, breathing in deeply before exhaling and trying to keep her tears at bay. “I never cared much for kids, Mrs. Novak.”

“Now, darling, there’s no need for lying,” Naomi paused again, while Meg tried really hard to keep her tears from falling. “So tell me, you think you could help me with that? It would be a win-win for both of us,” Naomi’s voice was soft as if she knew how much she was affecting Meg.

Meg tried to breathe in again, trying hard to keep her tears from spilling, trying to convince herself that she really didn’t care about not being able to have pups because for fuck’s sake she really _didn’t._

“Megan, darling? Are you still there?” Meg closed her eyes, trying to keep her shit together before showing any weakness to Naomi. “So, tell me: would you be willing to help us both?”

Meg paused, turning to look at the shelves hanging against the wall, all five of them containing pictures of people she deemed important in her life. The only emotional weakness she let herself have. She focused on a picture of Castiel, taken so many years ago. It had been taken at a party she had pushed him to go to with her, the night she most regrets because that had been the day Clarence had met Dean Winchester. She would forever regret and hate herself for pushing Castiel to go out that night.

And it might have been the anger she felt towards herself at that moment or something else, but Meg had responded to Naomi with a shaky “yeah.” Her voice barely above a whisper while Naomi just hummed, pleased with Meg’s answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next Sunday!


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this being posted so late in the day. I'm so busy atm and I just now had time to somewhat go through the chapter and fix some things here and there. I know my writing sucks and I'm sorry I couldn't do much. Ik i'm just annoying at this point.
> 
>  
> 
> **TW: Stalking, kind of flashbacks to past drugged rape, heterosexual sex? Past unknown sexual abuse**

* * *

 

Michael walked into the questioning room, taking a seat in front of April, setting the yellow envelope he had brought with him on the table between them.

“Castiel signed the documents you requested.” April leaned forward, reaching for the envelope.

“He did?” April looked at Michael, before opening the envelope and looking at it. “Of course, he did. I knew he would.” April’s voice was a soft whisper, so unbelievably affectionate Michael couldn’t understand what the fascination omegas had with Castiel. Never understood why they sought him out so often. It annoyed him to no extent having to deal with Castiel’s admirers as if his brother was not old enough to take care of himself.

But that was the problem. His brother acted like he wasn't old enough to take responsibility for his mistakes. That’s the whole reason why he was here dealing with the aftermath of Castiel’s troubling events.

Michael cleared his throat, entwining his fingers and setting his hand in front of him on the table. He looked at April, noticing the almost orange hair, straight and smooth despite the fact that she was still probably unable to get proper toiletries in there.

Michael noticed the curves the orange jumper failed to hide, her skin pale and blemish free, so silky and beautiful. Michael couldn’t understand how Castiel could be so upset to complain about the past five years when most likely his brother couldn't have gone through such traumatic event as he'd like everyone to believe. But he supposed Castiel liked to play the victim: first with Meg trying to break their arrangement of sexual encounters, then Dean and now with April. Three beautiful omegas that would do anything to please Castiel, and yet his brother turned the other way. And despite his aloofness and annoyingly habit of playing the victim, all three of those omegas still felt the need to worship the very ground Castiel walked on.

Michael couldn’t care less about Megan and April, but Dean? Dean was too good for Castiel, Michael knew believed. But Dean - precious Dean refused to open his eyes and realize that. He didn’t deserve what Castiel was trying to do to him. Michael could do so much better but Dean was a stubborn little thing. It upset Michael beyond belief not being able to have him but he had patience. It would be just a matter of time until Dean finally notice how good of an alpha he could be - better than Castiel and that Benny guy.

“I want to see him soon.” April interrupted his train of thought, focusing on Michael now, her eyes bright and hopeful.

Michael cleared his throat, reaching for his tie and moving it out the way. “That can be amenable. I have to discuss a time and date with the both of you-”

“No, tell him I need to see him as soon as possible, he’ll come.” April looked so sure of herself, so convinced that Castiel would do anything to please her.

Michael focused his gaze on her, trying to convey his irritation.

“Ms. Kelly, I don’t think you understand-”

“Michael, I am trying to help Castiel here, do you understand?” April paused, leaning closer than before and whispering the rest of her explanation. “Some guy - Benny, I believe his name is - came in today, just over two hours ago.” April sat up straight again, looking as unaffected as possible. Michael however, had tense at the mention of the name.

“What did he want?”

“Nothing much, just asking for help about some Dean and their daughter.”

“Their daughter? Why would…?” April looked up, shrugging.

Michael felt the anger rise inside of him, knowing the information had not come without April expecting something in return for anything else he’d like to ask. “What do you want, Ms. Kelly?”

April smiled, perfect teeth and very attractive and Michael would compliment her look had she not made it on his bad side. “Well, there’s something you could do for me, Mr. Novak.”

Michael nodded, trying to get her to proceed with her request.

“I need to make some calls, you understand? I need those calls to be made privately,” April paused, smiling a little wider, while she leaned forward and looked up at him through her eyelashes seductively, her voice now hushed and husky. “If you get me that by tomorrow and Castiel by the end of the week, I promise to spill every little thing about that meeting with Benny.”

Michael zeroed in his gaze on her, his nostrils flaring due to his anger, his irritation very present in the air and he knew April could smell it, which only angered him more when he noticed the satisfied smile on her face.

“What if I don’t?”

April sat back in her chair, resting her back against it and crossing her arms over her chest.

“You and that brother of yours, Satan, get nothing from me and my pup’s location stays unknown.”

Michael slammed his hands on the table, but April didn’t flinch. “That was not our agreement, omega. You agreed that if Castiel said yes to seeing you, you would let us know about the pup.”

“Well, I guess the rules have changed.”

“You who-”

“Careful now, we don’t want a counter case against you for inappropriate behavior,” April smirked, her eyes shining with malice.

Michael growled his anger surrounding them. He closed his eyes briefly, breathing in and trying to gain control of the situation once again before returning his gaze to meet April's.

“Very well,” Michael cleared his throat, the anger burning under his skin, but he knew he could not let April get away with not telling them about where the pup was. His Mother would treat him worse than she was already and Michael wished nothing less than to disappoint his Mother. "I have to speak with - "

April sighed, rolling her eyes. “Michael, do you not understand what ‘private’ means? If your brother had been here I wouldn’t have mentioned this."

“Fine,” Michael stood up suddenly, his body moving the chair he had been sitting on slide loudly against the floor. “I’ll see what I can do.” Michael button his suit jacket, grabbing the documents April had set on the table before walking towards the exit door.

“Yeah, you do that, Mr. Novak!”

Michael slammed the door shut, nodding towards one of the correctional officers before making his way out that filthy place. He tried to breathe in deep, trying to get enough air knowing well what his Mother would say about showing such weakness anywhere. But Michael tried, always in a constant competition with Castiel, always trying to show to their Mother that Michael was really the only good son she had; the only one who cared enough to protect this family.

He took his phone out, trying to shake every thought from his mind, looking for the one person who could really help him at that moment. 

"Uriel, cousin, would you be willing to lend a helping hand at this moment?" Michael tried to loosen his tie with the same hand he was holding the envelope, walking towards his car before getting his keys, unlocking it and getting in.

"It depends on what kind of help it is you are looking for, Michael."

Michael sigh once again, turning the keys in the ignition and turning the car on. "How well is your company with private calls out of the country?"

"Oh, brother, that is our specialty." Michael could hear the smile in Uriel's voice, could imagine it.

Michael exhaled quietly in relief. "How about from a prison cell?" 

This time, Uriel's response took longer to come, hesitant. "It could be done. Why are you asking Michael?"

Michael hummed, trying to gather his thoughts.

"I'll be at your house in an hour, I'll explain everything there, Uriel." Michael didn't wait for an affirmative response. Just hung the phone and started his way to his cousin's home.

 

 

**xXx**

 

 

To say Dean was nervous would be an understatement. He had an inner turmoil of emotions he did not know how to control - he didn’t know what to say or react. Dean was in a state of not believing that this was actually happening, he couldn’t actually believe that Castiel was there with them. It was hard to process that Castiel was there, spending time with them and looking at Zoe with so much sadness and guilt and - and - Dean didn’t know what else. The feeling he had to reach for his little alpha and maybe reassure him that he shouldn’t be upset about whatever he was upset about was nagging at him. He wanted to tell Castiel everything; tell him about their daughter, the way she had been when growing up, how she sometimes reminded Dean of him, that she looked like Dean but he wished she looked more like him - he wanted to just grab him and talk and tell him everything that had happened in the last five years.

“Daddy, I don’t think I want anymore,” Zoe said, pushing her plate away and looking up at him. They were sitting in a little ice-cream shop, had been there for a little while now after leaving the park, Castiel and Gabriel insisting on spoiling Zoe even though Dean didn’t think Zoe having ice-cream before dinner was such a good idea.

The conversation had been carried mostly by Zoe and Castiel with the occasional joke from Gabriel, while Dean refrained from saying more than replying every once in awhile when they directed a question at him. He was afraid of saying anything; afraid of saying something that might incriminate him and his feelings. Castiel thought of him as the cheating ex-husband and despite the fact that he had already told Castiel about Benny not being a constant presence in his life, he knew Castiel would not be able to forgive him so easily - hell, Dean couldn’t forgive himself for it.

The conversation didn’t deter, though. Zoe being a very entertainable girl had talked about everything she enjoyed. Dean felt so happy for his pup - happy that she was finally able to have her own little, even if a little broken, family. Two parents, she could talk to and love her. Zoe had contained her excitement so it wouldn't be too much to handle for her alpha father, but Dean knew his daughter too well. She had been trying so hard the whole day to get Castiel to like her, which was absurd Dean knowing Castiel. He knew Castiel had already fallen head over heels for their daughter, Dean could see it. The way he tried so hard to not stare too much, the tender look he had when he couldn’t refrain himself from staring, the almost there smile, the tone of voice - smooth and gentle and so caring - it made Dean’s heart twist so painfully. Dean knew him too well for his own good.

Zoe had won her alpha father so incredibly fast and she couldn’t even tell. It made Dean feel even more guilty for not giving much attention to the subject of Zoe not having two parents. She had given so much of herself today for Castiel that Dean wished they both had had a normal life and not have to meet now after all these years. Their daughter was incredible and so attentive towards Castiel that it only made Dean think how much more they shared apart from physical appearance. It seemed that Dean was not the only one crazy about Castiel anymore. He now had his daughter to join him on that boat.

Dean pulled the plate towards himself, getting the spoon and taking some. He looked at his daughter, a small smile on his face.

“Please tell me you’re going to have room for dinner later on tonight.”

Zoe looked up at him, a guilty look playing on her face. She shook her head, making Gabriel chuckle, while Castiel looked up at Dean in confusion before directing his gaze at Gabriel and finally Zoe.

“What do you mean no? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are the most important meals of the day,” Castiel said, turning his body slightly to face Zoe who had begged as soon as they had reached the table to sit next to him.

Zoe looked up Dean, Dean smiling and shaking his head, letting her know he was not going to get her out of this. Zoe pouted, a little scowl set on her face before sighing tiredly and peering up at Castiel with such a shy look it made Dean chuckle right along with Gabriel who looked at her.

“Oh, no kid. Looks like you ain’t getting out of this one so easily,” Gabriel said, before taking a big scoop of ice-cream into his mouth. Zoe glared at her uncle before looking back at Castiel.

“I just don’t get hungry. I don’t like the food…” Zoe whispered, shifting in her seat and fidgeting with her hands, desperately avoiding Castiel’s gaze. Dean smiled softly, Gabriel laughing quietly while Castiel's frown deepen.

“Why don’t-” he looked up to glance at Dean, a confused look on his face while Dean shyly shrugged his shoulder. “Dean’s a great cook, why don’t you like his food?” Dean shifted in his seat, feeling his cheeks heating up at Castiel’s comment, his stomach fluttering.

Zoe shook his head, looking at Castiel before looking at Dean guiltily.

“It's not that, I just don’t get hungry that much.” Zoe turned herself to face Dean who was seated across from her. “I do like your food, daddy, I just don’t get hungry. You know that, right?” She looked at Castiel again, her face worried that she wasn’t explaining herself well enough. Dean looked at her, feeling bad now. He looked up at Castiel, who was now looking at him.

“She’s very picky about her foods. It's hard to get her to eat - I’ve tried a lot but…” he shrugged, looking down at the ice-cream he had taken from Zoe before looking up again.

Castiel nodded asking him to continue. Dean smiled a little, trying to keep the nervousness he was feeling from reaching his voice.

“I took her to the doctor and he said she’s okay that some kids are like that,” he paused, pushing the little cup of ice-cream to the middle of the table. “He recommended me some type of drink - milk - and it gives her whatever nutrients she needs to be well nourished.”

Castiel looked at Zoe, raising his eyebrows in inquiry. “Do you drink that often?”

“Most of it,” Zoe whispered, still fidgeting.

“Hm… you understand is very important to stay healthy, yes?”

Zoe nodded in response, playing with the hem of her dress. Castiel reached for her face, making her look at him.

“It's important to eat at least three times a day, it increases your metabolism and gives you enough energy to function throughout the day.”

Dean saw the way Zoe pouted, her bottom lip quivering and he felt his heart break, but he knew Castiel didn’t mean to scold her. And even so, Castiel had the right to impose rules on their daughter, Dean knew. But it didn’t stop him from feeling bad for his baby girl.

“Come on, bro, let her be. You’re going to make her cry,” Gabriel said, trying to get Zoe’s attention. “Your dad can be a real party pooper sometimes.” Gabriel stuck his tongue out, rolling his eyes trying to make Zoe smile. But Castiel's frown stopped her from doing so.

“Gabriel you know it's important for her to get the nutrition she needs. If she doesn’t she may be prominent to become ill. Being deficient in certain vitamins can lead-”

“Yeah, yeah. Please tell me why I even try to argue with you, Doctor Novak,” Gabriel rolled his eyes, waving his left hand dismissively.

Castiel glared at him before he turned his gaze to Dean, making him nervous again.

“Did her pediatrician not explain this to you, Dean?” The way his voice sounded, so low and deep and rough made Dean squirm in his seat, making him shaky and excited at the same time. He was really wishing Gabriel would be kind enough not to point it out.

Dean cleared his throat and shook his head.

“No, he did, I just-” he cleared his throat again, Castiel’s eyes felt so heavy it made Dean feel worried about not satisfying Castiel’s standards of good parenting and nourishing for their daughter. His heartbeat increasing by the minute and he really wished he could stop it.

He slumped his shoulders, not knowing what else to do, shaking his head and meeting Castiel’s gaze.

“I try to make her eat as much as I can, Cas, but sometimes is a lot more difficult to force her to.”

Castiel nodded, returning his gaze to Zoe.

“You’re going to eat dinner tonight, okay? Can you do that for me?” He whispered, leaning down towards her, holding her green gaze and smiling reassuringly at her.

“Okay,” Zoe said, nodding to emphasize her reply. Castiel's smile widened, his eyes crinkling at the corners because of it and Dean couldn’t miss how handsome he looked.

“Thank you, pup,” Castiel’s reply made Zoe smile, that smile only widened, matching Castiel’s when the alpha leaned over to kissed her forehead. Dean felt his heart twisting with sadness and so much love for the both them, not really grasping the whole idea that this was actually unfolding right before his eyes.

Dean turned to look at Gabriel, not wanting to let the emotions he was feeling at that moment overtake him and make him break down in front of everyone in the little shop. Gabriel smiled, all sad and watery while he kept his eyes on Castiel and Zoe.

“Come on, it's almost six and you still have to eat your dinner before your bedtime,” Dean heard Castiel said, grabbing everyone’s attention.

Dean looked at him, nodding and smiling a little, “Thanks, Cas.”

Castiel returned the smile before getting up from his seat. “I’ll go get the tab. You, Zoe and Gabriel, can go out, I’ll meet you all outside.”

“You got your account all set up already?” Gabriel asked, getting up as well, letting Dean out of the booth.

Castiel nodded, picking Zoe to get her out the booth before passing her over to Dean. Dean smiled in thanks, taking his daughter and waiting for Gabriel.

“Yes, I did. The bank was very amenable to do a lot when they found out who I was,” Castiel smiled, looking down and shaking his head, making Gabriel scoffed. Dean stepped forward gaining Castiel’s attention.

“You don’t have to do it, Cas. I can get it-”

“Please let me do this, Dean,” Castiel's eyes were pleading, looking at their daughter as if doing this was him trying to start to make up for missing on Zoe’s life.

Dean didn’t press anymore, nodding and looking at Gabriel.

“Well, I’ll go start the car, then-”

“Yes, of course. You, Gabriel, and Zoe can leave. I, um… I have something to do before I head back to Mother’s house.” Castiel looked at Gabriel and smiled before nodding towards Dean and smiling too.

“What? What do you have to do?” Gabriel asked, moving closer and resting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Dean frowned too, looking at Castiel.

“I have someone I have to meet with, I… It’s kind of personal,” Castiel replied, making Gabriel scowl and Dean’s frown to deepen.

“Papa, come on. Daddy can take you and then we can go home. You can come to our house, right Daddy?” Zoe looked at Dean for permission, not waiting to receive one before turning back to Castiel, reaching for him with her right hand. “I don’t want you to go back to the other house, they’re so mean.” Castiel smiled, grabbing Zoe’s hand and kissing it.

“It's okay, darling, I’ll be fine. I have other things to do that are going to take too long and you still need to eat the dinner you promised you would,” Castiel came closer, so much closer Dean could scent him, so familiar yet slightly different. There was the usual scent he could differentiate as Castiel but there was something else there, too. Something so unfamiliar and new and not Castiel.

And for some reason, that fact made him uncomfortable because Castiel didn’t smell like Dean was used to. Dean didn’t like it, it was irking him for some reason.

“Come on, Cas, I’m sure we can wait for you and still have time to get back home in time for dinner. I can-” Dean paused, clearing his throat and looking at Gabriel, who nodded and smiled in reassurance. “I can fix us dinner, your favorite lasagna if you’d like, and you can take… You can take the guest room at home, I don’t mind.”

“Thank you, Dean, but that isn’t necessary.” Castiel’s voice was strained, forced and it all made Dean feel stupid for even asking such a thing from Castiel.

“Papa, come on, I can show you my room and-”

“Sorry, Zoe, I can’t tonight, okay? I’m sorry.” Castiel leaned in to kiss her cheek, going to Dean to do the same before catching himself and smiling in apology. Dean felt the disappointment settling in, returning the smile and turning to Gabriel’s direction.

“I’ll meet you outside then. Bye Cas.” Castiel nodded in acknowledgment, Dean walking out and feeling his heart hammering so hard in his chest. He felt the need to go back and ask Castiel to come back home with them, to let Dean take care of him. But Dean knew he wouldn’t do it - he had no right.

“Bye papa! Thank you for playing with me today!” Zoe waved her little hand desperately, trying to catch Castiel’s attention. “I’ll miss you!” Dean heard Castiel reply, but he couldn’t acknowledge what he had said, all he wanted to do was get out of there because if he stayed any longer he would probably get on his knees in front of Castiel again and beg him to come back with him. He walked faster, opening the glass door and walking out, not feeling well enough to breathe enough fresh air.

“Are you okay, daddy?” Zoe breathed out, so soft and scared while her little arms wrapped around his neck.

Dean tried to reach into his pocket to get his car keys.

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine.” His whispered, voice low and soft, trying to soothe his daughter before kissing her temple and scenting her.

“Okay.”

They reached the car, Dean unlocking it and putting Zoe in her seat, buckling her seat belt before going around to the driver’s side and getting in, starting the car and looking at the front of the shop seeing Gabriel coming out, finally making his way to them. Dean unlocked the door to let him in.

“Deano, are you-”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just tell me if you’re coming to dinner or not?” Dean put the car on drive, getting out of the parking lot and out on the road.

“Yeah, Dean-o, I am. I’m also expecting that lasagna you were offering Cas. If my brother likes it, then so will I.” Dean knew Gabriel was trying to lighten the mood but mentioning Castiel right now wasn’t really helping. He nodded and ignored everything else - the low music playing on the radio and Gabriel making conversation with Zoe, only occasionally looking at the rearview mirror to check his daughter and focusing on the road, his heart feeling too heavy in his chest for his liking.

 

 

**xXx**

 

 

“Clarence, what a pleasant surprise,” was the first thing Castiel heard through the phone as greeting. Meg’s voice was low and nice to hear, making everything he had felt during the day in Dean’s presence - nervousness, guilt sadness and anger - evaporate away at the sound of her voice.

“Hello, Meg. Is this a good time?” Castiel was standing outside the ice-cream shop they had been, looking around trying to remember where the bus stop was.

“Oh, Clarence anytime is a good time when it comes to you,” Meg’s voice said teasingly, making him smile and his stomach to flutter.

“Would you be amenable to console an old friend?” He asked, his own smile flirty and light because he needed a distraction, he needed to forget about Dean and really focus on what he had decided yesterday. He was not going to go back - he couldn’t. Castiel now had two pups to worry about and he needed to be in a stable state to be able to reach half the standards he had to be a good father.

“It depends on what I have to do,” Meg said, her voice rougher and deeper, her accent more prominent and so very enticing.

“It depends on what you’re offering.”

Meg hummed thoughtfully, while Castiel reached the bus stop, running to catch up before the bus waiting closed its doors. He got his card out and swiped it, walking down the aisle and taking the nearest seat.

He could feel the desire burning under his skin, the way his body was reacting and Castiel couldn’t help the pleased feeling he felt at the realization that he was still able to experience some kind of sexual attraction without being repulsed by it.

“Maybe I’ll order some pizza, move some furniture around…?”

Castiel let out a small laugh so low and rough, knowing what Meg was referring to.

“I can’t believe you still remember that.”

“How could I forget, Clarence? It was our first time.” Castiel could feel his blood rushing south, his breath catching at the memory, his voice now deeper than before.

“Would you like to repeat that occasion, Megan?”

“I’d be crazy to not to,” Meg replied, her voice breathless. Castiel took notice of the few people on the bus looking at him, scowls on their faces when they caught a whiff of his scent. He raised his eyebrow in a challenge at them before responding to Meg.

“I’ll be there in forty.”

Meg hummed, pleased and so very teasing, Castiel could feel the lust palpable surrounding him.

“I’ll be waiting for you, Clarence.”

Throughout the bus ride, Castiel couldn't stop the excitement and impatience he felt. Grateful once he reached the stop he desired, the excitement running through his veins. The stop here to Megan's home was at most four blocks if he remembered correctly. Castiel could work with that. If he hurried himself up he'd be able to make it in less than ten minutes. So he did just that. His pace was hurried, passing anyone and crossing the roads without much care, the excitement increasing and taking over his scent once he had reached Meg's house.

"Well, you're ten minutes early," was Meg's greeting as she opened the door, dressed in nothing but an oversized shirt and what Castiel really hoped were just panties. He felt the lust and need burning within him, could finally be able to smell his desire without feeling nauseous about it.

He didn't have anything to say, the need in him wanting to get on with their activities. So instead of dwelling much, he pulled Meg to him and kissed her, his right hand going for her hair while the other rested on her hip. Castiel felt desperate, lustful and so pleased with Meg's response to him, so very needed at the moment. He felt the kiss increase in intensity, soon turning from soft and welcoming to hard and messy - everything he had felt through the day just bleeding into it.

Meg broke the kiss first, taking a deep breath trying to catch her breath.

"Are you sure about this, Clarence?" Meg moaned as she felt Castiel's hand moving down her hip and up under her shirt, pulling her underwear down while he moved his lips to kiss down her neck.

"I haven't been more sure about something than I am now, Megan," Castiel breathed, moving his hand to Meg's clit, rubbing it before going to her entrance feeling how wet she was.

Meg moaned loudly, digging her nails over Castiel's clothed shoulders.

"Bedroom, Clarence, bedroom," she breathed out desperately, the arousal filling the air, so sweet and desperate and _so good._

Castiel picked her up, making her wrapped her legs around his waist, while he slammed the door closed with his foot and started walking blindly down the living room and to the hallway to Meg's room, kissing her hard and grabbing a fistful of her hair. He scented her, something sweet and so different from April, skin so smooth and tanned unlike April's, kisses so hard and welcomed unlike April's. Everything so unlike April.

Castiel felt so relieved and very content at that moment, walking into the room and setting Meg down on the bed before undressing, noticing Meg doing the same. He was so glad he could still do this - glad he could still please himself and Meg without feeling like he was forced to do so. Castiel was glad he wasn't as broken as he thought he was.

So with that good realization, he let himself get lost in Meg - her moans and whimpers, her loud breathless panting and his name being screamed while he thrust into her, forceful and so good. Groaning and feeling everything physical and nothing emotional: the warmth of her, the wetness and sweet scent of her arousal so very welcomed and needed and very fulfilling for his alpha pride. He was finally on cloud nine, reaching the highest wave of pleasure, holding tightly onto Meg's hips, leaving bruises, while she spasmed with her second orgasm, so satisfactory and so much better than anything else.

He could feel the way she clenched around him, hear the loud scream of his name, smell her satisfaction, touch everywhere in her body, see the way she looked with her hair disheveled and everywhere on the pillow, tastes the sweat and arousal from her skin and Castiel had not been so pleased with a moment in over five years, like he was with Meg at that moment.

"I'm glad you've learned things." He heard Meg whispered, her voice hoarse and soothing.

"I'm glad I met your standards."

Meg laughed, her chest moving while Castiel tried a comfortable position to wait out his knot.

"You are something else, Clarence." Castiel hummed, making them lay on their side, kissing her shoulder and hugging her from the behind, her skin soft and smooth against his. And at that moment all he wanted to do was to lay there like that forever, scenting Meg and feeling her against his chest: welcoming and sweet and soft and pliant.

All, unlike April.

Castiel heard his phone ringing at some point during the night, but he ignored it, trying to draw out the pure bliss he was in because who knew how long it would be until he felt like this again? All he needed was this - that moment right there and he was not going to ruin it for it for his Mother, brothers or anyone else.

Zoe reached his mind for a second, which made him look at the caller ID and later ignoring it now well with the fact that it was Michael and not anyone he deemed important. He could at least at that moment, lose himself in Meg. 

 

**xXx**

 

 

Benny watched the car finally arrived, slowing down and turning right into the house, the pleasure and excitement to see his family running through his veins. He was hiding in front of that same house, behind the bushes that were planted next to it. The darkness that was coming from the sun setting was proving to be on his side, able to protect him from wandering eyes.

He had stood here for a little over two hours already, coming here right after seeing that cocky bitch April, wanting to see Dean but feeling the anger rise in him when he realized the omega wasn't home. Benny didn't know where Dean had been, where they had run off to and it angered him to not know. Dean and Zoe were supposed to always be under his sight, under his protection and away from that alpha, Castiel. They were his to have and not Castiel's - Benny deserved to have them. Benny was the one doing this for the past five years - looking after them, caring for them protecting them - not Castiel. Dean was still confused about them after so long, but Benny didn't mind, no of course not. Dean still belonged to him, had since they had met and Benny had no worries about anyone trying to take Dean away from him. But with Castiel now back and Dean wanting to fix things with that shit alpha was ruining all his chances. He needed to fix this sooner than later - needed to secure his family! Now, if only that bitch April could help him with that -

Benny got distracted when he saw Dean open the car door and getting out. The omega was wearing a pair of wasted jeans so well fitting he could see the curve of his ass from here. The burgundy shirt he was wearing was completely unbuttoned, letting Benny see the black undershirt he was wearing. God, Benny remember how beautiful he looked with nothing on. From here he could see Dean so clearly - the messy blond hair, the green of his eyes so bright and gorgeous, the way his full, pink lips curved into that small smile when seeing his daughter, the way those freckles made him look so innocent only becoming more prominent when the heat of arousal reached those cheeks, complimenting him so well when those rosy lips wrapped around his length. Those bow-legs making him look like he had just been roughly fucked, that ass so round when nothing was covering it-

Benny breathed in, trying to calm the fire growing in his lower abdomen, the arousal of wanting to have Dean again, those hazy green eyes peering up at him so unfocused and uncaring about anything while those freckles were more pronounced against rosy cheeks and swollen full lips around his cock. Well, that certainly was not working. He exhaled, focusing back on what was happening in front of him again, noticing Dean now carrying Zoe before grabbing a small bag from the back seat.

Dean looked so beautiful and maternal, it made Benny wonder how things could've turned out for him and Dean had Dean not met Castiel. He wondered if Dean, no matter how many times he denied himself of remembering the many times when they were younger and fooled around, sleeping together, would want to still be together and Zoe would really be Benny's. He wondered if Dean could still remember all those times at parties when they would go out, drink and then go back to Benny's place and fuck. He ought to remember. Yeah, Benny tried to leave Dean in the morning the next day by himself, dressed and sleeping because Benny knew about the consenting thing omegas nowadays had. Which Benny never really understood. Maybe Dean didn't remember everything clearly, but he ought to remember something, _anything._  

Moving a little to try and catch a better look at Zoe and Dean, Benny caught sight of Gabriel, another alpha that had been getting in the way. But Benny didn't worry about him much. Gabriel was nothing compared to the new problems that had presented now. All he really cared about was seeing his omega and their pup. Seeing them so happy with each other, smiling and laughing and everything a relationship between an omega and their pup should be, it made Benny want to be there to complete the image. To complete the family Castiel had broken when he had left and gotten himself killed - well, kidnapped.

He watched them walking towards the front door, Dean still holding the keys with his right hand while he carried Zoe on his left hip, the pup small and fragile looking as she held onto Dean's shirt collar. Gabriel following behind them into the house once Dean opened the door and walked in, closing the door behind him and leaving Benny out there, aroused with the mere image of his omega and protective because of Zoe.

He stood there for another hour, seeing the lights on, the window blinds barely opened to let him peek a glance of Dean in the kitchen, so domestic and proper. Just like the perfect omega should be. Benny felt elated, wistfully wanting to be the alpha sitting at the dining table admiring such view from a closer angle.

That fool Castiel had no idea what he was missing, he had no idea at all. But Benny did, and he's going to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, whatever it takes to have the family he always wished for. Everything Andrea could never give him, he could easily get it with Dean. It was just a matter of time until Dean realized Benny was the best shot out of every other alpha that tried to take him, Benny knew that. 

Benny knew that - all he had to be was patient and everything would sort itself out with a little help here and there, Benny knew.

Benny knew.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank y'all for reading and for leaving kudos and whatnot. so sweet :)
> 
> Until next Sunday, like church!


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, first of all, I am so so fucking sorry. I know I seem like i like to talk about my problems and shit but the shit that has happened the last few weeks is fucking embarrassing. Y'all I'm not telling y'all this so y'all feel bad or whatever this is just me explaining why i didn't post like usual. So if y'all want to know y'all can read the end notes. If not, y'all enjoy this chapter! Have a great week and I'll try my hardest to post as soon as I can!!
> 
> Also, sorry for all the mistakes and all. I'm illiterate :(
> 
>  
> 
> **No TW**

* * *

 

It was Wednesday evening when Castiel finally made it home from Meg’s house. The evening before he had spent it in bed with her doing nothing more than kissing, fucking, barely taking breaks for meals and drinks. He had barely had enough will to get up that morning to shower before Meg joined him to let him fuck her in the shower again. After that he had gotten dressed kissed her goodbye and left, only to wander around aimlessly, not knowing where to go and only realizing he had walked for however long to reach his Mother's home, all the while thinking about Zoe, Dean and how everything was different now.

The whole walk back, he had thought of how alike Dean and their daughter were physically and personality wise. It made Castiel feel a sense of relief his daughter had not inherit much from him other than her hair color. She was sweet and caring and everything Castiel could see and had experienced from Dean ever since they had met. It made Castiel so grateful for it. He thanked the universe, God, or whatever deity had kept his pup from taking anything after Castiel. He was now hoping his other pup was the same. Then that train of thought had led him to think about April and their pup and how he was due to meet with her in the near future. He thought of how much he had felt when he was with her and how she completely made him feel powerless and so dependent.

Castiel thought about the way she had manipulated him for so long and kept on doing it but something in Castiel, maybe the masochist part of him, could not deny her anything that she asked for. It was disconcerting at times when he gave himself time to analyze it and think about it but at that point, Castiel could not really care any less. He was tired and so overwhelmed with everything that was going on in his life - his Mother, his brothers, April, his missing pup, Dean, and Zoe. His brain was in a constant loop of reminders of how he needed to come back to himself if he wanted to be at least half of the alpha he needed to be. Castiel had laughed at that, thinking how he was never really going to be enough ever again, his laugh bitter and self-deprecating - everything that defines him now.  

All of these thoughts had kept his mind so busy that he had neglected to notice he had walked all the way from Meg’s house to his Mother’s home, walking in and feeling a sense of uncertainty and hopelessness as soon as he entered the house. He checked the grandfather clock at the end of the hall from the living room, seeing it was almost eight thirty and feeling surprised that he had been so caught up in his thoughts he had not noticed his walk home.

Of course, Castiel shouldn’t have expected for luck to be on his side to allow him to be able to escape his Mother and quietly sneak into his room like a teenager getting home late after a late party. Of course, he shouldn’t have.

“Where in the Lord’s name have you been?” Naomi said, walking towards him to meet him at the front door.

Castiel let out a sigh, thinking how much he should’ve stayed at Meg’s house and been able to avoid this.

He tried to move past his Mother without replying, but his mother was having any of that. Of course, she wasn’t. She always had to have her children in the palm of her hands and know every single move they made. Naomi liked to be in control, her excuse being how the alpha in her demanded respect just like any other alpha would.

She blocked Castiel’s path, looking at him angrily.

“Michael and Lucifer have been trying to get a hold of you, but it seems they’re more worried about this case than you are.”

Castiel sighed again, looking up the stairs before meeting her gaze.

“Mother, can we please not do this right now?” he asked.

Naomi looked a little skeptical at that, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Castiel, this is about my grandchild and you want to leave it for later?”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t seem you care about any grandchild seeing my daughter was never allowed in here. Not mentioning you never visiting her, of course,” he said, trying to move past her, but being stopped once again, Michael and Lucifer now entering the living room.

“Don’t talk to me like that, Castiel. What has gotten into you?” Naomi said, looking at him with some edging desperation. Castiel could not believe that this is what it had to take to get his Mother to show any other emotion or any emotion for that matter.

“Castiel, I’ve been trying to get in contact-”

“I know, Michael, our Mother was just letting me know,” he said, rolling his eyes exasperated. “Well, I’m here now. What was so important, then?”

“It's about April,” Michael said, trying to move closer towards him. Castiel raised his eyebrows, letting Michael that it obviously had to be about April. “Very well,” Michael cleared his throat, looking back at Lucifer for a brief moment before returning his gaze to Castiel. “I went to see her yesterday and show her the documents you signed-”

“Well, you don’t waste time do you, Michael?” Castiel said, moving past them, making his way to the study to serve himself a drink. He heard his brothers and his Mother following behind. Castiel didn't understand his sudden irritation with the quickness his brothers were taking with this case but he couldn't truly reign the anger and all his emotions in. Castiel couldn't deal with himself, noticing his selfishness and irresponsibility. God, Castiel was nothing but a mere corpse, now, living but not being truly alive. Castiel was nothing.

“Castiel, this is an important matter, there is no time to waste,” Michael said, reaching the armchair and taking a seat. The younger alpha also seeing his Mother sitting opposite of him and Lucifer leaning against the door frame, his hand tucked into his slacks.

Castiel looked at Lucifer, noticing how distant he was being not have said anything since he had made it home and the only one, apart from him obviously, who seemed not really in the mood to talk about the subject at hand.

Castiel took a sip of his drink, bringing the glass down and staring at its contents.

“Just get on with it,” he said, trying to keep himself from showing how much talking about this was affecting him.

Michael sighed before he leaned forward, entwining his hands between his legs and glanced up at Castiel.

“April said she’d be more willing to let us know the location of your pup if you’d meet her as soon as possible.”

Castiel paused, trying to avoid their gazes. He felt the fear and dread running through his veins, noticing how his emotions were masking his scent. From his peripheral vision, he could see Lucifer stepping in completely, fixing his suit jacket but still staying a little further away from them.

“Castiel, brother, I can assure you we would not be asking this from you so soon if it wasn’t necessary,” Lucifer said, speaking for the first time, his voice surprisingly soft. “We are doing it for your pup, brother. I feel for you, Castiel but you know how urgent this matter is.”

Castiel could feel his gaze on him, yet he refused to let them see the unshed tears in his eyes and the fear he knew they would hold. Rather, Castiel focused his attention on his drink, seeing the amber liquid moving easily and freely, wishing he was able to do the same and “go with the flow” like Gabriel said.

He sighed again, clearing his throat not wanting his voice to waver. “How _soon_ is ‘soon’?"

“I spoke with Michael and Lucifer for you already, Castiel, and I’ve decided that tomorrow Thursday would be best for you to do so,” Naomi said, her voice not leaving any room for argument.

“That is not what we agree on, Mother. You can’t keep making these decisions for him,” he heard Lucifer say, seeing him take a few steps forward.

“Oh, please, if Castiel was responsible and capable enough to make his own decisions we wouldn’t be in this situation at all,” Naomi replied, waving her hand dismissively.

"Mother, these-"

"Lucifer, brother, I don't understand why you seem so adverse to this. You out of all of us wanted this to be done as soon as possible," Michael said, turning his body to face Lucifer. 

Castiel wondered that as well. Lucifer always seeming to be the one to never like to deal with something for a long period of time. It always occurred to Castiel that his lack of patience to take his time with situations is what had caused him to still be mateless. But then again, Lucifer might just not find an omega worthy enough for himself - he was shallow when it came to that.

"Michael, I do. Trust me, brother - I do. But rushing this for a _whore_ that is trying to _impose_ whatever-"

"She's not _imposing_ anything, Lucifer. This is important, Castiel knows. All this is necessary to find my grandchild," Naomi said, standing up to face Lucifer. 

Castiel refrained from saying anything. He was so tired and all he wanted to do was to head upstairs and sleep everything off - get himself mentally ready to face April.

"Naomi, this isn't any of your business. I don't even understand why you are even here," Lucifer replied, his voice now low and rageful.

"How dare you? Lucifer, I know you might not care about this family-"

"Oh, please, you're not going to manipulate me with that like you do with those two," Lucifer interrupted, gesturing between Michael and Castiel. "It's never worked before and it sure isn't going to work now."

"This is not the time for one of you rebellious fits Lucifer! I am your _Mother._  You cannot go against me in such important matter," Naomi responded, walking towards his brother, her posture rigid and rageful. Castiel could smell the rage from both of them. It was making him nauseous which only caused his irritation to increase. He had thought himself well enough to be able to handle overpowering scents.

He closed his eyes, trying to catch a whiff of neutral air that wouldn't affect his senses much.

"This is not a rebellious fit, _Mother._ This is me trying to look out for Castiel's health."

Naomi scoffed, rolling her eyes, such an unusual thing for her to do, before turning back to face Castiel. Castiel tried to keep his gaze from meeting hers, not in the best mood to deal with much.

He should probably call Dean or Gabriel and ask about Zoe. Yes, Zoe - he needed to know if she had eaten her dinner yesterday. Castiel sighed, rubbing his temple with his right hand. He should've called yesterday to ask if Zoe had eaten her dinner.

"Please, you want to watch out for your brother's best interest? That's the most absurd-"

"As a matter of fact, I am, Mother. This isn't something lightly to deal with. Castiel's not even suing the bitch for rape to keep you satisfied-"

Michael suddenly stood up, facing Lucifer, his alpha rage also combining with theirs.

Castiel set the glass he had been holding back on the stand and walked towards the nearest wall to lean his head against it and breathe in. He wondered what Dean and Zoe would be doing at the moment. Probably watching some T.V. or playing. Castiel caught a glimpse of the clock hanging on the other side of the room, noting the time: eight fifty-four p.m. They were probably getting ready for bed. Castiel frowned, now wondering if Zoe had taken the time to eat all her meals today and dinner yesterday.

"Lucifer, you agreed with leaving that out of this case-"

"No, don't try to put the blame on me now. I did not agree to anything. You and Mother made the decision yourselves - Castiel and I had no say in it." Lucifer said, a sarcastic smile set on his face. "Which is kind of absurd now that I think about it." Lucifer took a few steps towards Michael, moving Naomi away, causing her yelp in disbelief at Lucifer's action. "This is my case, brother, I don't see why you should be making the calls," Lucifer glanced back towards his Mother briefly before returning his gaze back to Michael. "For fuck's sake, the few times you've gone to see her have been without either me or her lawyer present and I am actually surprised the bitch has not countersued me and Castiel for extortion."

Michael sighed, looking down before glancing at Lucifer. "She won't be doing that, Lucifer. Now if that's the only-"

"No, Michael, you don't understand. This is not your case and I am done with you and Mother trying to use Castiel and make him do whatever you both please," Lucifer responded, digging his index finger against Michael's chest. "You don't get a say in this anymore."

Naomi walked back to where Michael and Lucifer stood, trying to get between them and facing her second eldest.

"You have no right to speak to your brother or me like that. For the Lord's name, what would you Father say about this?"

Lucifer snorted, rolling his eyes and taking a step back.

Castiel wondered if it would be too late to call Dean's house and ask to talk to Zoe. She would probably be sleeping already but he could at least try and be responsible.  If she was asleep, he could just ask Dean if Zoe had listened to Castiel's request yesterday. But those thoughts didn't truly appease his guilty mind. Castiel was truly turning out to be the deadbeat father he was supposedly trying not to be. He looked down, ignoring the scene playing out in front of him. Castiel had seriously chosen to end his time with his daughter to sleep with Meg. The thought stirred the guilt even more.

"Mother, please! Cain doesn't care about us. Perhaps Gabriel but the rest of us? We could go to hell for all he knows and he wouldn't care," Lucifer ran his hands down his face exasperated, trying to keep from doing something that could harm his brothers, Naomi or himself. "For all, we know he might be the one leading us there," Lucifer turned to look at her, anger burning in his eyes. "Mother, you know I'm right. Father has not cared much about anything after _Colette_ died."

Naomi went rigid, unexpectedly swinging her right hand and slapping Lucifer. Michael moved forward but halting his steps once their Mother looked at him, a warning look on her face.

Castiel pushed himself off the wall, walking forward trying to keep his balance and also trying to make everything stop swaying, his Mother's scent too strong like always. He wondered if there had been a time when Naomi showed any other emotion other than rage and anger.

"Don't you say her name in my presence, Lucifer. Don't disrespect me like that," Naomi said, her body standing strong and proud, looking at her son menacingly.

Lucifer took a step back, bringing his hand up to sooth the pain from his affected cheek.

"Mother, please, it's not me you should be angry with! Father was the one who owed you sincerity, loyalty, and fidelity, not me." Lucifer laughed, bitter, his anger seeping into it, holding the left side of his face still trying to sooth away the pain caused by Naomi's slap.  "Castiel went through the same thing but at least he was smart enough to leave that whore, You-" Lucifer gestured towards her and then settling his gaze on Michael. "And you, on the other hand, love to stay and chase after men who would never love you back," Lucifer paused, his gaze momentarily falling on Castiel before moving back to Michael and Naomi. "And the reason for that is because they're too busy contemplating about the ones they supposedly loved and were too stupid to keep."

Castiel felt his heart racing, closing his eyes again trying to keep himself together. Yes, he should call Dean and ask about his daughter. Maybe Zoe was still awake and he could fit a few minutes of conversation with her.

Michael tensed, his shoulders squaring up, his scent rageful as well, now looking at his brother with discontent.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Lucifer laughed, still bitter and angry.

"Oh, brother, I am no fool. No one in that damned company is. I'm surprised Dea-"

"Lucifer!"

Castiel halted his movements at the force of Naomi's tone, her body shaking with contained rage, glancing towards him for a moment. Castiel couldn't deal with this anymore, all their scents were making him more nauseous by the second.

He stood up straight, walking past them and towards the door, his head pounding painfully.

"Lucifer, we'll make the way to that prison tomorrow. I'll talk to April and discuss whatever needs to be discussed and find my pup." Castiel didn't wait for confirmation, only hearing Lucifer calling out his name after him, yet Castiel didn't stop or slowed down. All he wanted to do was get to bed and call Dean and talk to his daughter. He supposed he had to be grateful to Gabriel for being a good brother and giving Castiel Dean's number "for any emergency or to talk to your daughter" right after passing along his own number.

He walked up the stairs into his room and threw himself on his bed, trying to take a deep breath of clean air. He contemplated for a second before reaching for his phone and dialing Dean's number. He needed to know if Zoe had listened and done what he had asked of her. He needed to make up for yesterday. Castiel needed to talk to Dean. Castiel needed so much it made a self-deprecating chuckle pass his lips knowing how damned selfish, and terrible he was being.

Castiel needed so much, yes but he deserved none of those things.

 

  

**xXx**

  

 

Dean closed the door to his daughter's room quietly, trying not to wake her up again. She had been a little upset throughout the day about not being able to talk to Castiel. His baby had constantly asked about calling him, her little green eyes peering at him pleadingly and Dean and Gabriel apologizing and berating themselves for not getting Castiel's number the day before. They had tried to get her to forget about calling Castiel by playing with her dolls and putting her favorite movie, which worked for a while but later turning to a bad idea after Zoe pointed out how Castiel had said this and that about her favorite character. That only led her to cry about not being able to talk to Castiel once again and looking at Dean with such sadness in her eyes it made Dean scold himself all over again.

Gabriel had left right after lunch, not able to do much, not wanting to feel guilty about not getting a hold of Castiel and also for not being adequate enough to handle a four-year-old crying for her father. Dean had really tried to get her to feel better but Zoe had been inconsolable until dinner time when she finally let Dean seat her on her highchair and eat some dinner still pointing out how Castiel had said how important eating her meals was.

He walked down the hallway, passing the window not really paying attention until he saw something moving, making him halt. Dean frowned, taking a few steps back to see through the window, trying to see what it had been but seeing nothing out of the ordinary. It was probably Mrs. Moseley's cat.

Dean sighed, shaking his head and continuing his walk back to the living room, grabbing the remote from the arm's couch, changing the channel to ESPN to catch a glimpse of the sports news. He glanced back to Zoe's door before turning the volume down and going to the kitchen to grab a beer to finally settle down on the couch to watch T.V.

It was only nine o’clock, but he could already feel himself slipping into sleep, already so tired and really not believing that Zoe’s bedtime was now also his bedtime.

Dean was ready to fall asleep, his head resting on his folded arms on top of the side of the couch, his legs bent on the couch when he heard the house phone ringing.

He groaned, trying to ignore it, yet knowing that the ringing could wake Zoe up if he didn’t get it fast enough. He moved across the couch, reaching for the side table next to it and getting the phone, answering.

“Hello?” He asked, his voice rough with sleep. He laid back again, lazily holding the phone to his left ear.

“Hello, Dean,” Dean suddenly woke completely, his heart skipping a beat while he tried to sit up straight.

“Bab-uh, Cas, hey. I didn’t expect you to call,” he responded, running his free hand down his face and feeling ecstatic about this call.

He heard Castiel sighed, maybe also tired.

“I’m sorry, is this a bad time? I just wanted to check in with Zoe,” Dean looked back towards his daughter’s door, weighing the option to go wake her and let her talk to Castiel.

“Uh, no you’re good, it’s - uh - Zoe’s already asleep, but I can wake her up-”

“No, please don’t. Let her rest, it's my fault for calling you so late. I don’t want to disturb her.” Castiel breathed, his voice deep and rough it made Dean feel giddy.

“Hey, it's okay, really. I can wake her up. She has been asking about you the whole day today,” Dean moved to stand up, but Castiel’s voice made him halt.

“No, Dean, don’t. This is her bedtime and I should’ve called earlier,” Castiel paused, sighing before Dean heard some movement on the other side. “Now, I feel guilty about not calling during the day. What did you tell her?” Dean laid his weight back on the couch, closing his eyes and enjoying the rumble of Castiel’s voice.

“You should’ve seen her, Cas. She asked for you as soon as she woke up, and later crying when Gabriel and I couldn’t get a hold of you,” Dean chuckled quietly, looking at the T.V. but not really paying attention. He heard Castiel breathe out a little laugh too, both whispering.

“I really have to apologize to her, don’t I?” Dean hummed, closing his eyes and letting Castiel’s voice washed over him. "And to you as well." His voice carried something Dean couldn't really decipher so he let it go, not knowing what to say. It wasn't long before he heard the alpha again.

“Did she eat? Tell me about it, Dean, please?” Dean heard the edging desperation in Castiel’s voice, his request so unsure. Dean exhaled, long and deep, trying to fit on the couch, laying down on his back, using one of the cushions as a pillow.

“Well, yesterday, after we got home, she was completely worried about dinner and asking how much she had to eat to call it a fulfilling meal,” Dean smiled at the memory of his daughter trying to eat as much as possible of her lasagna, continuously commenting how Castiel should’ve joined them so he could see her. Dean now smiles at the memory but it hadn't been fun hearing about Cas rejecting his invite when it was happening.

Castiel laughed quietly, bringing him back from his thoughts. Dean could imagine him, laying down in bed, eyes closed, his right arm behind his head as a pillow while he held the phone with his other hand. He sighed, wishing he could see Cas for real.

“Today was a completely different story, though,” Dean paused, thinking about that morning and how much he had to beg his daughter to at least drink her milk. “I had to beg her to try some toast but she downright refused. This little scowl on her face and still demanding to talk to you," he said, giving a breathy laugh.

“I can imagine it,” Castiel said and Dean could hear the smile on his face but the guilt in his voice didn't go unnoticed either. Dean wondered if Castiel knew how much Dean knew him.

Dean kept his eyes closed and trying to shake those thoughts out of his head, continuing to tell Castiel about their daughter and everything they had tried to do to cheer her up.

“After lunch, Gabe left, Cas. The asshole. I had to keep on trying to cheer her up by myself!”

Castiel chuckled Dean smiling at him.

“That’s Gabriel for you.” Dean hummed, feeling sleepy but content. He realized how easy it was to talk to Castiel, so normal and liberating. Dean felt serene and relaxed as if time had not passed them by and they still held their marriage together.

He felt the painful pang in his chest knowing well that this might not happen again. But it only increased knowing it was going to happen again, and again, and again all while he died to have Cas close.

Castiel hummed, perhaps ready to say goodnight, Dean already bracing himself for it but it never came. The breathing from the other side letting him know Castiel was still there and despite the fact that he should probably let him go, he found himself incapable of doing so.

“How was your day, Cas?” He whispered, trying to keep the light mood they held.

There was a small pause, Castiel’s breathing stopped for a second, maybe hesitating telling Dean about his day. Dean felt the dread taking over his body, now regretting asking the question. He was going to take it back but he heard Castiel respond.

“I’m not entirely sure, Dean,” he said, sounding tired and dejected. Dean opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling and willing himself not to say something that might incriminate him and his feelings.

“Tell me about it, Cas.” He replied quietly, hearing the alpha exhale a long breath and some muffled movement, maybe him trying to get comfortable, before replying.

“I am going to go see April tomorrow,” the alpha paused, his voice hardly audible. “April wants to see me and tell me in person everything regarding my pup. I - Dean…” he trailed off, possibly trying to draw any confidence he might still possess. Dean felt his heart ache for him. His poor alpha didn’t deserve any of this - he truly didn’t.

“I’m genuinely afraid of her, Dean. I-what am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to say?” Dean felt his vision blurring, his chest hurting.

“It's okay, Cas. It’s okay,” he said because he didn’t know what else to say. All he wanted to do was take Castiel’s pain away but he knew he couldn’t. All Dean could do was listen and be there for Cas.

“Michael, Mother, and Lucifer were arguing about it. Michael and Mother agreed it’s best I go see her as soon as possible, though Lucifer says otherwise,” he heard Castiel sniffing, maybe to keep from crying. Dean shut his eyes again, turning to his side, his back now facing the T.V.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Luc, Cas. You’re not ready for this.”

“But it’s my pup, Dean, my pup. I can’t just sit here and not do everything I have to do to get my pup,” Castiel answered, his voice rough with emotion. So heartbreaking and pure, it was making Dean’s insides ache so much more.

“I know, Cas, I know,” he said, attempting to soothe the alpha.

They lingered on the phone for some time, not saying anything, just hearing each other’s breath, Castiel sniffing once in awhile, letting Dean know he was silently crying. He tried to think of anything to say, anything that could make Castiel feel better but he knew that by staying on the line was enough for the alpha. Castiel never demanded much when it came to himself. He appreciated what he got and never asked for more. It hurt Dean to know that the alpha refused to demand what he needed but Dean also knew that Castiel’s big heart is what made him who he was. And though Dean still wanted to give Castiel everything he deserved, he wouldn’t change Castiel for anything in the world.

Castiel’s breathing slowed down a bit, letting Dean know he was ready to fall asleep. He opened his eyes briefly, getting up from the couch, turning the T.V. and all the lights off on his way to his room. Dean was already dressed for bed, so he slowly crawled into bed, turning the lamp off, still holding the house phone against his ear.

He hesitated but he didn’t have to make the decision himself before Castiel decided to speak.

“Thank you, Dean,” he whispered, voice quiet and tired and soft.

“It’s nothing, Cas. Just get some sleep 'kay?” He was about to hang up the phone before he heard Castiel speak again.

“Would it be okay with you if I go see Zoe after…” after seeing April, but Dean didn’t mention it. Instead, he smiled, nodding his head before remembering Cas couldn’t see him.

“Of course, you can, Cas. You don’t have to ask.” Dean paused, closing his eyes again and breathing in. “I’ll call you or text you on my cell phone the address tomorrow, okay?” Castiel scoffed, probably also rolling his eyes, making Dean smile confusedly. “What?”

“I might have missed five years of my life, Dean, but I can still remember where you live.”

Dean giggled, _fucking giggled,_ before shaking his head.

“I moved, Cas. Not the same house. I-uh,” he swallowed, not really enjoying the memory as to why he had to move. “I couldn’t stand to stay there anymore. Not after…” he stopped, not really wanting to mention it.

“Oh, well, yes. Just text me the address, then.” Castiel cleared his throat, not saying much afterward. They stayed quiet for a few more seconds before he heard Castiel again. “I’m glad you moved," voice sounding so relieved and sad and - and - and Dean didn't know what else.

Dean didn’t know how to respond - what to say, so he just tightly shut his eyes before replying.

“I’m sorry, Cas,” the pain in his chest increased, making it really hard to breathe. He wanted to apologize for everything - wanted to beg Castiel to forgive him, not entirely sure for what, though. But Castiel didn't say anything to that, just sighing and making Dean feel worst.

“It's all my fault, Dean. Don't worry about it."

"Cas-"

Good night, Dean.” And that’s all Castiel said before he hung up the phone.

 

 

**xXx**

 

 

April waited until all the lights were off, everyone asleep, before taking the phone that Michael had brought her earlier that day out. She looked around, getting up from her bed (if you could even call it that) and walking towards the bars trying to see if any of the guards were out on night duty, the phone tightly held in her hand.

Seeing no one she went back and laid back down, using her blanket to try to keep the bright screen from being too noticeable, now thanking God more than ever for being alone in that cell. There was nothing money and the right connections couldn't do.

She quickly dialed the number she needed, really hoping the asshole had kept this number. But the automatic voice that answered let her know that the line was no longer in use.

April cursed, ending the call before dialing another number. The same automatic voice told her this number was also no longer in service. She groaned again, a little too loudly than necessary. She halted her movements, looking up and checking if anyone had heard but she saw nothing out of the ordinary and went back to the phone and dialed another number. However, the same thing happened, making her punch the pillow in anger, barely having the mind to calm down and think of another number. If that son of a bitch wasn’t answering it was because he either had the army on his ass or he was already in prison. April prayed it was the former and not the later, dialing another number and praying to God this one worked.

She didn't have to wait long before she heard the damn phone ringing, sighing in relief and thanking God for it. April was desperate, Michael had called her to let her know about Castiel’s decision to come see her tomorrow. She felt ecstatic, her alpha so eager to see her and despite the fact that she was glad about it, she still would’ve like at least an extra day to plan everything she needed to do.

“What?” She heard the voice snapped, making her focus back on the call.

“Crowley! Thank God. Listen, I need your help,” she whispered, keeping an eye and ear outside her cell. She heard Crowley hummed before he replied.

“My dearest April, how are you? I heard you were in prison,” Crowley said, his tone mocking, causing April to grit her teeth in annoyance.

“I am you asshole. You should be grateful I didn’t sell you out,” April replied, looking out trying to see if everyone was still asleep.

Crowley snorted before replying. “Please, we both know the only reason why I’m still out and about is you need me to be. Not out of the kindest of your heart.”

April smiled sarcastically knowing he couldn’t see her. “You insult me, Crowley.”

“Yeah, and I’ve grown a conscious all of a sudden.”

April rolled her eyes, before going back to what she had called him for.

“Listen to me, I need your help.” She whispered, still trying to keep an eye outside of her cell.

“Well, that is obvious otherwise you wouldn’t be calling,” he paused for a second, April hearing him swallow. “Please do tell. What is it that you need?”

“I need you to find Zabia and her pup,” she responded, taking her eyes off the bars.

“The pretty omega? Brunette, blue eyes?” Crowley said, making her roll her eyes exasperatedly.

“Yes, Crowley, Mark’s favorite omega! I need to know where she is by tomorrow morning!” She whispered yell, her annoyance noticeable in her voice.

“Well, darling, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I just wanted to make sure,” Crowley paused, April able to hear the mocking smile. “But we don’t have to look for her, I know exactly where she is.”

April let out a pleased little squealed, thanking the universe and her good luck before asking for information. She asked for the specific location, trying to get as much information from Crowley about Zabia as possible and memorizing it all.

“Why do you need to know this?” Crowley asked, his voice confused. April smiled, satisfied with her capability of retaining everything she needed before scoffing at Crowley's question, her mood souring.

“My alpha needs our pup, Crowley,” she responded, not wanting to tell him about Castiel’s old omega wanting to take the alpha away from her.

Crowley stayed silent, not saying anything for a long while making April get ready to hang up but she heard his response before she could do so.

“Wait, you never had his pup. You aborted - oh!” he exclaimed, finally catching on. “I still don’t understand, though, why do you have to shove a pup on his face now? You said you were going to tell him the truth about this non-existent pup.”

April rolled her eyes, not enjoying the questioning.

“That, Crowley, is for me to worry about and you to keep your nose from,” she looked out briefly, not really noticing the inmate across from her silently staring into April's cell, and listening to her conversation. “You just make sure Zabia doesn’t leave your site and I’ll keep your pathetic beta ass from reaching prison.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK!! To those who want to know wtf is going on:
> 
> I've been working my ass off at school while also working two jobs and that shit is tiring. I have been trying to keep up w everything but i have so much hw do to and work taking all of my free time kind of fucked me tf UP. I was (still am) drowning in hw. I wanted to work on all the stories during the break (spring break) but even w my two jobs I have been unable to pay for my bills. Yall it's hard af. I had to call home and ask my parents for money and even then my mom couldn't do a lot because she and my stepdad where going through some difficult shit with their relationship (they're back together now tho so thank the universe for that). I didn't have wifi at all these whole three(?) weeks and I had to miss a lot of my classes because a bitch was really going THROUGH IT. I have been spending a shit ton of my time at the library trying to catch up w everything and yall I don't want yall to think Idc about yall and updating, i do but guys, I'm poor af. I'm supposed to be a full-time student and keep up w my two jobs because capitalism demands I fucking die just to be able to fucking _survive._ I've been having mental breakdowns and crying and shit. like I said I'm really going through it. I really appreciate yall being patient and not pushing me and all that but at the same time i know i'm very irresponsible for ruining my schedule. I don't like to disappoint so i really feel bad that I'm neglecting my stories. At this point if any of yall want to pull up and beat my ass, I'm just gonna let yall. 
> 
> Guys this might seem like a bunch of excuses and honestly yall right. I'm really sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, I don't mean to unload on all yall because I know that shit is annoying but yeah. I feel like a little bitch complaining about all this but yall capitalism really has its foot on my fucking neck. Like damn bitch let a bitch breathe! Sigh, whatever it's going better now tho. I still have shit to do but a bitch _WILL_ get through it. if i don't just assume I died because living is expensive. But then again so is dying so i dont even know wtf to do lol. 
> 
> Damn this hoe long af. Anyway, if ya'll made it all the way down here, yall real af if not it's cool too. Just don't be mad at me! I swear I'll try harder. 
> 
> ANYWAY MOVING TF ON, i hope yall liked this chapter! If not yall can comment down below and let me know how shitty it was. 
> 
> PS. Yall i might sound annoying (omg I'm truly a Cancer huh? Why couldn't I be a Libra and not care about shit?) but i don't mean to type all of this so yall feel sorry for me cus that shit is embarrassing. I promise I'll stop being emotional (damn being Cancer) and I'll try my damn hardest to update asap again!! Thanks for reading all this! Love yall <3
> 
> PSS. I'm also kind of happy that I'm close to 200 kudos on this story and i have 943 on Sad Song like biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch i _love._
> 
> LOL this is irrelevant but yall know wanna what's also killing me? the fact that Beyoncé annouced OTRII and will most likely release music soon and I'm broke af lmfaooo. Someone pls kill me I'm crying. Watch Fenty try to drop shit too. EL OH EL I hate life


	11. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK!!! I'm so sorry for such long wait, I was just really trying to get my shit together at school. But I'm finally free from hell!! I AM FREE!!! AND I ALSO GOT A NEW JOB. Girl is gonna be working as a babysitter and barely be doing much and I am living. Who could ever?!!! AHHH, I'm so happy to be back and actually be able to have time to focus a lot more on my stories. I missed you all so much! I'm seriously so happy about updating. 
> 
> Anyway, after such long wait, here it is. What you all been waiting for! A new chapter!!

* * *

It was five in the morning when Castiel finally decided to give up on sleeping and leave his bed. The myriad of emotions had kept him up most of the night and his thoughts were all uncleared and indecisive. He had this constant dread deep in his gut, fearful and intensifying as time drew closer to his meeting with April.

Despite all that, Castiel could also feel the rush of eagerness that ran through him. He felt sick for feeling it. Afraid of his emotions. Castiel couldn’t understand himself at all - it was an unsettling emotion, one that he couldn't truly afford to explore. So rather than lingering on it, Castiel got ready for whatever was awaiting him. He took a shower, getting dressed in one of his expensive suits his Mother constantly expected him to wear, grabbing the first tie he had seen, his socks and shoes following next.

He looked at his reflection once he was done, the beard he'd refused to shave was getting worse since yesterday. It made him glad that he had kept it now that he was staring at himself in the mirror. Maybe some part of him still wanted to keep some familiar image for today. His hair looked normal, messy as usual, but today he didn’t bother to tame it. Something in him wanted to find an image that resembled him when he had been under April’s hold.

Castiel couldn’t explain, but he felt compelled to give April some normal ground. It was crazy to think about but Castiel wanted her to know it was him and he was still the same.

He sighed, running his hand down his face, feeling the way his beard prickled his palms. He was so unbelievably tired he couldn't even stand his own thoughts.

Grabbing his cell phone, he turned away from the mirror, walking out his room without further thought on his image. He checked the time, noting he still had an hour before he had to leave with Lucifer and walked into the kitchen, the cook already preparing breakfast. He didn’t say much other than 'good morning,' nodding his acknowledgment before walking out with a water and banana in hand, not really in the mood for something more substantial.

He rolled his eyes at himself for his choice of breakfast. Such a hypocrite to demand his daughter eat when he himself ignored his own advice. What better way to live life as a doctor?

That thought made him check his phone, expecting to see Dean’s message notification that he had sent Castiel his new address. Castiel was not going to lie to himself that he hadn’t be relieved about Dean moving. The called yesterday had made him feel relieved that he could count on Dean to talk to about all this. He knew that was one of the things Castiel missed about him - being able to talk to him. The comfortable silence had turned awkward as soon as he had requested to visit, however, but Castiel wanted to see his daughter - feel her and take comfort from her presence. To know that there was someone who loved him unconditionally and didn’t expect anything other than his presence and love in return.

He had regretted making the request as soon as it had slipped from his mouth, but it had vanished once Dean had told him he didn’t have to go back to their old house. He had felt some kind of lightness settle in him, the pending doom he thought coming after asking to visit had somewhat lessened a bit. It'd made him think how else his life was going to change the same way everyone's life had changed through the years.

The screen of his phone lit up, seeing Jimmy calling, brought him back to reality. Castiel moved to answer but stopped himself last minute, not really in the mood to speak with anyone. He let it go to voicemail, and a few minutes later got a message notification from his brother wishing him good luck and asking to meet with him before he, Claire and Amelia left for Illinois on Friday. Again he ignored it, clicking on Lucifer’s number and letting him know he was going to meet him at the prison rather than driving with him. He figured he’d need a car later once he had to make his way to Dean’s.

He grabbed one of the car keys and went down to the garage, thankful he had been able to avoid his Mother. Castiel got in the car, noting it was the same he had used that day he had decided to change his life around and drove off. Not really minding the speed limit or anything. Risk made everything so unpredictable and it got his mind off things.

 

It was ten forty-three when Castiel reached his destination. He had known the location where April had been arrested and sent to was far, but those few hours he had spent in the car had passed him so fast. Time passed him so fast lately.

He had walked in, seeing Lucifer standing there with an unamused look on his face while he signed whatever documents they were forcing him to take care of. Castiel had to sign too, and after that, they had been waiting for everything to settle and finally be able to get on with whatever he had to.

They waited for at least an hour, during that time Lucifer advising him on what to say and do but Castiel had not really paid attention much. The only thing he had present in his mind was that he was going to see April again.

He felt a cold sweat starting, the sinking feeling and eagerness all combined deep in him as they waited grew deep within him. Castiel thought he would faint because of it.

The doors to his right opened, calling for someone, but Castiel was still too focused on his feelings to make out his name. Lucifer stood up, buttoning his suit jacket before resting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder making him look up at him. Lucifer nodded, his expression blank, but Castiel could see the confliction he felt in his eyes.

They walked through a narrowed hallway, passing closed doors. The air cold and stale, scents from previous guest mingling together and Castiel could smell all of them at that moment, no matter how faint they were.

Reaching the door where April was waiting, Castiel wondered if she’d be able to tell he had been spending time with Meg. All the while hoping he looked presentable enough for the occasion.

At this particular moment, Castiel could not quite well cope with the emotions that were currently forcibly running through him. It was so distinct to how he had felt during the few weeks at home but similar to how he had felt at the hospital and rehabilitation facility those first two months he had finally reached the States. There was a sense of comfort somehow at finally being able to see April - the masochist side of him eager to see the one person who Castiel knew had stolen everything from him. But most of all, there was fear and dread. Castiel was scared of going through that door and into that questioning room and not liking what he might find there.

Lucifer stood a couple of steps in front of him, his posture relaxed unlike Castiel’s. Castiel knew it, yet he couldn’t force himself to pretend he wasn't afraid and tense. Seeing April again had not ever reached his head after he had been rescued. He knew he had to see her in court, but never so close again. Not so close that he could smell her, see her right in front of him - it was unsettling.

“Sir, are you going to join or stay out here?” The correctional officer's voice was flippant and bored. Castiel looked at him, cleared his throat and nodded.

“Yes, of course,” he responded, walking in behind Lucifer and taking a seat next to him.

April sat in front of them, hands cuffed with the chain connecting with the one going around her waist, her feet also in cuffs. Something twisted inside his chest, fear perhaps, but it felt more like guilt.

“Alpha,” April's voice was quiet, eyes wide and glassy, mouth quirking up into a smile, and her hair still the same red-orange hue.

Castiel could see how attractive she was, but he knew well how manipulative she could also be when she used her attractiveness. But all he wanted at that moment was to reach out to her and wipe the tear away that had fallen down her face. Why was he feeling so relieved and afraid to see her?

“I’m so happy you’re here. I - uh,” April glanced towards Lucifer, her gaze turning hard for a brief second before looking back at him. “I missed you so much.”

Castiel looked down at the table, settling his entwined hands there and breathing in, catching a whiff of April’s scent.

“You look well, April,” he responded, keeping his gaze down, while he felt his heart rate increasing by the minute.

“You think so, alpha?” She leaned in, a smile playing on her face, her hair falling to the side of her face. Castiel stared at her, not knowing what to do and hoping she would find him acceptable enough.

“Of course,” he whispered, trying not to upset her. The fear took over him suddenly and all he wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible.

Lucifer coughed, trying to gain their attention before setting the documents needed on the table between them.

“If we could…” Lucifer gestured towards the documents in front of them.

Lucifer started talking, stating the date, time and location and their full names, including the correctional officers who were present in the room and the one who had checked them in at the front desk. Castiel kept quiet while this occurred, hearing April stating her name after Lucifer had read everything she was allowed to discuss and answer.

“Very well, I have been informed you requested your lawyer not to be present for this questioning, Ms. Kelly?”

April stared at Castiel, taking a deep breath and furrowing her eyebrows before replying.

“Yes, I did,” she said, her face confused while she stared at Castiel. Castiel tried to keep calm, hiding how much his hands were shaking.

“All right, can you please state that you’ve had your rights read to you and you understand everything that has been stated here?”

“I understand,” April replied, her gaze heavy on Castiel.

“We are ready to proceed.”

Castiel felt the anxiety growing within him, the cold sweat in his body.

“Ms. Kelly, would you state your age and secondary gender?” Lucifer’s voice didn’t falter, but Castiel, himself felt he couldn’t muster the confidence required to do the same.

“I am twenty-nine years old and I am an omega.” Castiel looked up at that, not really believing how young April was. He was almost a decade older than her, and he could not feel more pathetic than he was at that moment. Alphas were supposed to be able to protect themselves, they were supposed to control omegas and lead them. But Castiel was weak and pathetic and he couldn’t be more grateful for the fact that the rape accusations were no longer at play in the lawsuit.

Castiel heard Lucifer cleared his throat as he looked at April, seeing the soft smile on her lips. She was looking at him with so much fondness it was disturbing.

“Would you please tell us how old the pup you and Dr. Castiel Novak conceived is?” Lucifer took notes while April spoke, not trying to miss anything.

“Our son just turned three this past May,” April's smile grew as she kept her eyes on Castiel.

Castiel stopped breathing for a second, really looking at her now, his heart beating faster than he had expected, the scent of her so vivid in his mind and the flashbacks of his time with her in Afghanistan came all flooding back. The many times he was able to hear about his pup he barely knew anything about them, getting to smell them - well, _him_ \- on April and not knowing that the pup was actually a boy or girl who he had also neglected just as much as he had Zoe.

“A son? I have a son?” Castiel said, his voice disbelieving and breathy, his hands shaking and eyes watering because he finally had some clue, something to know about his pup.

April looked at him with such tenderness, like sharing this news was happening during a couple's reunion and not an interrogation room in jail.

“I know, isn’t it exciting? I named him Zahir after…” April trailed off looking at Lucifer before returning her gaze to Castiel. “Yeah, his name is Zahir. He’s three and has your eyes,” she smiled again, her eyes amused while she took in Castiel’s reaction. “He’s staying with one of the omegas that used to work for me.” She looked at Lucifer, raising an eyebrow once she heard him humming.

After that, everything was a blur. He could still catch April’s scent, Lucifer’s as well but all he could focus on was on the news about his son.

_Castiel has a son._

The interrogation went on, his heart feeling too heavy to keep up with it, his gaze still on April as she proceeded to describe their pup.

“Zabia, the omega in charge of our pup, is not informed that Castiel will be going to get our pup, so she might resist a little about giving it back. I asked her to take care of our son like she had been the one to birth him. From mother to mother she understood what I meant,” April said, taking one of Castiel’s hands in hers and smiling. Castiel didn’t know how to react, everything felt so overwhelming and relieving.

"Would you please provide a location, Ms. Kelly?" Lucifer's voice was louder somehow, Castiel feeling the unshed tears in his eyes as he stared at April, something akin to gratefulness and fondness reaching his gaze. He was so happy about finally knowing where he would be able to find his pup.

April's smile widened, Castiel feeling his heart skip a beat while he scented the air catching a whiff of hers and his combined. So familiar, so unsettling and _so comforting_ all at the same.

"Of course, it's time you finally met our son." 

And Castiel couldn't believe the emotions that threatened to take over him.

He felt the tears finally falling, his heart twisting painfully while he held onto April's hand tighter.

"Thank you." His insides were twisting, a pain so constricting he could barely breathe that all he wanted to do was leave the room and breathe some fresh air and find his son.

April smiled, her teeth white and lips full. "Anything for you, alpha. Anything for you."

 

**xXx**

 

Dean watched everyone move around the living room. His Mom by the couch with a cup of tea in one hand while she conversed with Ellen who looked up at her from where she sat. Bobby took a seat on the couch opposite them, while Rufus, Bobby’s longtime friend, complained about Bobby and the job at the shop. Sam and Sarah had arrived later than everyone else, taking a place on the opposite side of the couch where Bobby and Rufus sat, Gabriel leaning against the arm of the couch laughing and play-flirting with Sarah, who held a sleeping Henry in her arms, Sam staring at him annoyed.

Jo and Charlie and Ash gathered around them too, talking and making fun of Sam’s serious face while they also laughed at Gabriel’s jokes.

Dean watched everyone, feeling so happy to see them all together and happily talking to each other. Zoe in his arms, her head leaning against his chest, holding her legs to let her sleep a little bit more while they all waited for Castiel to get there.

Everyone was here. Everyone waiting to finally see Castiel once again for the first time in five years. Dean was really hoping Castiel wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed when he got there.

They’ve been waiting for Castiel for half an hour already, Dean noticed, checking the time and seeing it was already four in the afternoon.

Today Zoe and he had been so enthusiastic about seeing Castiel, Zoe screaming as soon as Dean told her the news in that morning, running out of her room and towards the bathroom to start getting ready. She had been so excited about picking her dress and letting Dean know how she wanted her hair styled. Dean just smiled while he got her dressed, trying to get her ready and pleasing her every demand. Dean didn’t mind, knowing how important this was for his daughter. All he wanted to do was keep that big smile on her face.

Dean had texted Castiel his address, getting a ‘thank you’ as a response before he had gotten out of bed to wake Zoe up. After that and telling Zoe, his daughter had gone on an endless rambling about inviting Henry so he could finally meet her dad. She had then started complaining about ‘grandma Mary’ not being there, so in the end, everyone had been invited to Dean’s house, him not really minding. He had texted Castiel about it, though, not really wanting to make him uncomfortable but Castiel had not replied to him after that.

Everyone had arrived when it finally hit three thirty in the afternoon and were completely thrilled about the fact that they were going to see Castiel again after so long.

“Dean, someone’s at the door!” He heard Ash yelled, making him look up from his daughter who had now jumped up after hearing that.

“Daddy, it’s Papa! Go get the door!” She said, her arms moving frantically around, almost falling on her bottom since she hadn’t given herself enough time to shake the sleep away.

Dean felt his heart racing, his nervousness coming back in full swing as he tried to calm his daughter down. “It’s okay, baby. Calm down, I got it.”

Everyone was paying attention to them and he could hear the chuckles around. He got up finally, meeting his Mom’s gaze, her nod reassuring him before he went to get the door. Everyone was standing up now, waiting for him to open the door. Instead of waiting any longer, he swung the door open, his breath hitching.

Castiel stood there, formal suit on, tie backward just like Dean remembered him always having, hair mussed everywhere, trench coat on, and blue eyes tired yet still beautiful. The beard he barely got to see on Castiel when they were married made him too different, but still as handsome as always, making his heart beat faster.

Dean didn’t say anything, just stared for a long while, no background noise registering in his mind. He could only focus on the alpha in front of him. Dean didn’t know what drove him to do it, but he moved forward, not breaking their staring, and grabbed the alpha’s tie and tried to fix it. For some reason, it didn’t feel different, but it also felt off at the same time - he didn’t know how to feel.

Dean kept his eyes on Castiel’s blue ones as he fixed the tie, running his hands down the alpha's chest once he was done and just standing still, wanting to lean forward even more and finish that little task by kissing Cas. But he didn’t. He let his hands fall back to his sides and kept staring.

“Hi, alpha,” he whispered, clenching his hands because he wanted to do so much more than just stare.

Castiel nodded his head, clearing his throat and smoothing his tie before replying. “Hello, Dean.” The words were quiet, those blue eyes taking him in.

“Did you get my text? I uh -” Dean turned to look back inside at his family who were all still standing, looking more than expectant. “Zoe wanted everyone to meet you, so I -”

“It’s okay, Dean. I got your text. It was quite hard trying to figure out how to work the iMessage thing, but I got it.” Castiel attempted to smile, tried really hard to not seem uncomfortable, but Dean knew him. He knew him better than Cas thought and he could see Cas was not doing so well.

“Okay, well, then. Come in.”

Dean moved to the side, trying to let Cas in. As soon as he was inside, Zoe ran up to him, squealing excitedly.

“Papa, papa, you came!” Zoe threw herself at Cas, Cas picking her up and hugging her and scenting her.

“Hey, princess. How are you?”

“I’m so happy to see you! Are you happy to see me, Papa?” Castiel chuckled and moved forward, Dean following them, standing just a little behind them while he caught his Mom’s sad gaze. He shook his head, letting her know there was nothing wrong.

“Of course, I missed you, sweetheart. I’m sorry I didn’t call yesterday.”

“But you did call, Daddy told me. I would’ve talked to you if Daddy would have woken me up, but-”

“Oh, come on, now. That wasn’t Dean’s fault. I asked him not to disturb you because sleep is very important. Especially if you want to grow old like me.” Zoe sighed, looking back at Dean with annoyance.

“Hey!” Dean frowned at her, not appreciating the attitude. “Don’t give me that look. Like your Papa said, it wasn’t my fault,” he says, following them.

Zoe looked down guiltily, pouting and nodding her head. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

Dean sighed, his frown lessening a bit. “It’s okay, baby. Come on,” he tried to pull Castiel further into the living room, letting everyone see them now.

No one moved from where they were standing, just stood there, looking at Castiel like they couldn't really believe he was there.

Gabriel was the first one to move forward, having dealt with the whole shocking thing about seeing his dead brother four days ago.

“Cassie, if it ain’t good to see you again!” Gabriel smiled, big and goofy, moving toward them and bringing Cas into a hug, Castiel still holding Zoe.

“It’s good to see you as well, Gabriel."

Dean caught Gabe’s gaze, seeing the emotional difficulty it took him to actually acknowledge that Castiel was actually there again with him.

Gabriel sighed, scented Castiel before he let him go.

Castiel smiled, a little uneasy before he brought his gaze up and seeing everyone else in the living room still motionless. Dean watched his alpha look utterly confused and disoriented. This is the first time in five years that Castiel is seeing Dean’s family again and considering how things had ended between them, Dean really understood his hesitance to do or say anything. But Cas’ eyes fell on Mary, then his uncertainty washed away to be replaced by such fond expression it made Dean's heart race.

Mary had loved Cas since the minute Dean had brought him home to meet the parents. It had happened so fast - their relationship had moved too fast. They had met at a college party and were dating a week later, Dean bringing Cas home to meet Mary and John only three weeks after first meeting. It had been great, over the top and so lovey-dovey Mary had nothing to say but that she was glad Dean was finally happy. John hadn't taken the news well, and his negative reaction had only added to his Mom's decision that enough was enough before she had officially kicked John out of their house. She had mentioned it was long overdue with them being divorced and all but Dean had known it had been difficult.

Cas had been there for it, had comforted Mary in his own way, had been there with Dean to get through difficult times when money was tight and whatnot. Mary had tried to deny him but Cas had refused her refusal to his help and had been there through thick and thin during their one year of dating and the four years after their wedding. It had been everything for Dean.

Castiel had loved Mary a great lot and knew it was her his alpha ran to when he needed advice when it came to dealing with Dean. It was Mary who Cas ran to when he needed to announce any good news. It was Mary Cas had run to when he had wanted to propose to Dean but thought was too soon. And Dean knew now that it was Mary Cas had run to when Dean had cheated on him with Benny. 

Those thoughts only served to make feel worst, and seeing Cas pulling Mary into a hug and scenting her, telling her how much he had missed her only broke Dean's heart even more. 

"I'm very happy to see you alive, Castiel," Mary's voice was shaky, Dean saw the unshed tears in her eyes as she held Cas tight.

The emotions were running rampant in the house, everyone else moving in to welcome Cas again, and crying, taking their time to talk to him and hug him. It was emotional and too much. 

Dean watched his baby girl moving excitedly around everyone, introducing Castiel to everyone like they didn't know who he was. It was adorable the way she looked up, dragging the alpha around by the hand and talking about her Papa. Dean couldn't take the sight. It was almost everything he wanted, played out right in front of him. All the people he loved and cared for in his home, happy and safe.

It was almost all he ever wanted but not everything. Not everything.

Time passed them by, all animatedly talking about what Cas had missed so far, catching him up on their lives and everything else. Dean didn't really collaborate much to the conversation, only moving to the kitchen to set dinner on the table right at six, and calling everyone into the dining room. He couldn't deny the fact that his eyes never left his little alpha, however. It was unbearable to Dean to move his gaze away from the one person he loved as much as he loved his daughter. 

Dean wasn't keeping up with their conversation, Rufus and Bobby arguing with each other once again, while Mary, Ellen, and Sarah talked about the new pieces of art Sarah had traveled for. Charlie and Jo were in their own conversation with Ash intently watching them as they spoke while Zoe sat on Cas lap joking around with Henry who was perched on Sarah's lap across from them. Sammy was sitting next to her, Gabriel sitting across from him while all three alphas talked about whatever it was they were talking about.

They all seemed to try to keep everything normal as to not make Cas uncomfortable, but Dean could see right through them all. While they sat, supposedly all having their own conversation, Dean noticed them stealing glances at his alpha. Dean appreciated their attempts, however, because the least he wanted was to make Cas feel uncomfortable.

It was when he caught Castiel's gaze that Dean realized he should've been paying attention. Cas was looking at him expectantly, a question in his eyes.

"Dean?  Gabriel said you owned more than half the company?" The way his voice was too soft when he said Dean's name made his heart flutter in his chest. "How are you doing with that, Dean?" 

Superficial talk, that's what the questions were meant to lead to. It made his heart drop, but Dean knew better than to expect anything else. He was just tired of wanting to be completely happy and have Cas back with him to the point it now hurt to even be in the same room as him. The rejection that evening he had invited him over still fresh in his mind.

Dean shrugged, looking down, moving his food around his plate. "It's going well, alpha." 

The soft endearment came out breathy and sad. Dean closed his eyes, breathing in, praying Cas wouldn't call him out and ask Dean to stop calling him alpha because he no longer was Dean's alpha.

Cas didn't mention it, thank God, only nodding his head, reading the signs that Dean didn't really want to talk about it.

Dinner went by faster after that, everyone having moved back to the living room. It wasn't long before they all started to excuse themselves out of the house, all moving to say their goodbyes to Cas and hugging him once again. There were more tears, everyone wishing they all could stay longer but knowing they had jobs to go to in the morning. 

Dean had kept to himself then as well, only barely acknowledging the goodbyes thrown his way and before he knew it it was only Zoe, Gabe, Cas and him in the house.

"How are you feeling, bro?" Gabe moved forward, taking a seat on the couch where Cas was seated. Zoe was already nodding off, being it was past her bedtime, her head nestled in Cas' chest.

"I'm... I'm well," Cas looked up, then, catching Dean's gaze. "I really missed you all."

Dean's looked away, unable to keep staring into those intense blue eyes. His heart was already too broken to take any more. He had been dying to pull Cas into him and keep him close, to scent him and take care of him. Dean was emotionally drained, and seeing his family's sad looks thrown his way hadn't really helped him at all.

Dean moved forward, ignoring everything else, to get Zoe. "Here, let me go put her in bed -"

"Actually, can I please do it? Please, I -" Cas's gaze was pleading, and no matter how much it hurt, denying Cas this would break him even more.

"Yeah, Cas. I'll show you to her room."

Gabe stood from the couch then, stretching before turning to look between them. "Well, I think it's time for me to hit the hay, too."

Before Dean could process what was happening, Gabe was already walking out of the house, leaving them alone. Dean knew Gabe had their best interest at heart, but he didn't think that leaving Cas alone with him would bud well with the alpha. The fact only made his heart break all over again, his scent turning sour.

"Dean, I can leave if that's what you wish me to do."

"No, Cas, that's not -" He sniffed, desperately trying to blink the tears away and clear his scent. "I just don't know what to do, alpha."

"Dean, I -" Cas stood from the couch with Zoe fast asleep in his arms and moved toward Dean slowly. "Dean, you need to stop calling me that."

His heart felt like it was being ripped away from his chest, his gaze blurred by the unshed tears and they weren't enough to betray how he felt, then his scent surely did. "I'm sorry."

Castiel sighed, turning to lay Zoe on the couch before moving forward again, pulling Dean into his arms. It was pathetic the way Dean clung to him, the way he breathed Cas in like he would die if he didn't catch the alpha's scent. And yet, Dean couldn't really help himself. There was still the scent that was undeniably Cas, but there was also something else that was putting his inner omega on the edge, and not in a good way.

"I'm seeing Meg." Castiel's whispered confession only served to break Dean completely, the arms that were fisting the alpha's shirt falling back to his sides. "You have to understand I needed to move on, Dean."

There's a ringing in Dean's ears, the tears falling, then, but his arms were still motionless.

"It happened the evening before I saw you again at Mother's house," Castiel paused, running his hand up Dean's back, up to his hair to card his fingers through it but it wasn't appeasing him at all. All Dean could think about at that moment was that Cas was never going to be his again. It wasn't like he thought - God he couldn't even lie to himself. He knew he still held some hope that Cas would forgive him and take him back. He knew that the only reason it was hurting so much was that Dean had hoped they could work through everything and actually be together again.

Castiel inhaled deeply, pulling away a bit to look Dean in the eye. "It was her who I needed to see after the day at the park." Dean's hurt was settling so deep in his bones he felt like he was about to collapse.

"Zoe asked you to come over, Cas," Dean's voice was shaky, his hand clenching into fists.

"And I declined."

Dean stared at him, really looked into his - no, _not his_ \- Cas's eyes and saw everything he needed to know.

It was perhaps the way how much the news hurt, or perhaps the way he felt the jealousy and anger for his daughter bubbling inside him but all wanted was for Cas to leave.

"Is that why you didn't call her after you scolded her about dinner?" Dean took a step back, glancing at his baby girl and remembering how much she had patiently waited for Castiel to call her. "Is that why it took you until yesterday night to call?"

The lack of response had let him all he needed to know. The guilt in the alpha's scent betraying him, and the way he wouldn't even look Dean in the eye anymore only confirmed it all.  _Fuck_ , it hurt.

"Get out."

"Dean, please. I know I was selfish -"

"Get. Out."

Castiel took a step forward, bringing his hands up to touch Dean, but he moved away before the alpha could.

Their scents were mingling in the air, and not pleasantly. Zoe whimpered from the couch, waking up from her sleep to look at them. "Daddy? Papa?"

"Dean, I was trying to move on, _I'm_ _trying to._  After Monday evening, and seeing you, I needed to remember that I couldn't go back to this -"

 _"Fuck you,_ Cas."

His baby girl was starting to cry behind them, her distressed scent making his inner omega whined, but also rage at the fact that her alpha father had failed her - had chosen to spend a night fucking than spending time with their daughter.

"Dean, please -"

"Get the fuck out!" Dean pushed him, his enrage omega wanting to weep from the betrayal of knowing their alpha hadn't cared enough to choose them and their pup. "Whatever is going between you and me has nothing to do with Zoe, Castiel!" His scent was overpowering, the hurt and rage taking over, the scent of scared pup only fueling the fire burning in him. "I tried for _a whole_   _fucking week_ to see you again and let  _my daughter_ meet you and you don't care enough for her to spend some time with her."

Fuck it hurt. It hurt so badly.

"I was miserable. Zoe, too. And after waiting impatiently to see her alpha father for the first time after thinking him  _dead_ you choose to leave her because  _you_ couldn't handle seeing  _me?_   _Fuck you!"_

Zoe's cries were cutting through the haze of his barely contained anger.

"Dean-"

"Get the fuck out, Castiel!" 

Dean turned away from the tears falling down the alpha's face and instead moved away to his daughter to try and soothe her.

It took a minute, but he heard Castiel's steps walking toward the front door.

"No, Papa, don't go! I don't want you to leave me," Zoe thrashed against Dean, but he refused to let her go, watching Castiel get closer to the door. "Papa, don't go, please! I promise I'll eat all my food! Please!"

The hurt in the alpha's scent was palpable, but it didn't deter Dean's decision. He needed to do what was best for his daughter.

Castiel turned to look at them, tears falling down those eyes Dean loved so much, and even though it hurt a fucking lot, he didn't change his mind and held Zoe tighter against him.

"Leave."

Castiel didn't wait for more before he turned and opened the door, leaving without glancing back, again.

"Papa!" Zoe's sobs threatened to eat Dean alive but he just couldn't deal with Castiel not caring for her. His heart was shattered into pieces and seeing his daughter so upset made everything in him ache. 

Zoe kept thrashing against, finally breaking free to look at him. And the way those eyes looked at Dean will forever make his being weep. 

"I hate you! I hate you! Everything all my friends say about you at school it's true!"

Dean's heart dropped then because he didn't know what his baby girl was talking about. He had never heard anything about the kids giving his baby girl a hard time at school.

"You don't love, Papa. You never did. You always wanted to make him leave. I hate you so much!" 

"Zoe-" He tried to reach out to her, but all his pup did was flinch away from him, his inner omega wailing in distress before she ran to her room and slammed the door shut, locking it.

This was the third time in his life that Dean experienced such a horrible heartache. He sobbed, his chest tight and too painful. Dean couldn't think he could ever survive such cruelty. Now, not only had he lost his alpha completely, he had also lost his daughter.

Life was too cruel to Dean Winchester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope y'all liked! Lmk what y'all thought in the comments.  
> I love y'all so much and again, I'm sorry for the long wait I'll try to do better!!
> 
> Love y'all have a great night!! <3


End file.
